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Thursday, December 17, 2009

This and that

Today I ran three miles at the park with a friend. Was disappointed once again because my GPS app on my BB would not work right. It only recorded about 15 minutes of running. I don't know if the trees interferred with it or what! But some days it works fine and other days it doesn't. I hate having an incorrect reading when it uploads to the website. But at least I have a record of it at Sparkpeople.
I over ate yesterday at lunch. :( We had a rep come in and they provided cajun food! I did good on the actual food but blew it big time on the dessert - bread pudding with white chocolate sauce. And I went back for more dessert at 3 pm instead of eating what I brought with me for a snack. Why do I do that? I have got to get a grip on this. I am so tired of yo-yoing back and forth. So my run this morning was yucky at first. I felt bloated and heavy and found it hard to run. But I persisted. I felt better by the end of the run. I did 1:1 for the first two miles and did 2:1 the last mile. I know that my weight is holding me back from doing better. I could run faster if I was lighter. duh! But me and only me can do anything about that.
I have started a bible study online at for overeating. I have done one of their studies before and loved it. It should help me to learn to fill up on God's word and not on food. I know that food has been a comfort to me in times of trial and I don't want to continue to let it be my crutch for life. I need to fill up on Christ. I know I can do this. I have conquered drugs, alcohol and cigaretts so I know I will conquer this - in due time. At least knowing I have a half marathon to run in December is giving me some incentive to do better with my eating behavior.
Right now my stomach is growling terribly and I refuse to listen to it. I will NOT go over my calories today - I WILL NOT!
Thank goodness for SparkPeople. I could not have come this far without this site I don't believe. I was so surpised when I realized how many calories I was REALLY eating! Wow! What an eye opener! But I find myself cheating at least once a week and it continues to catch up with me. I lie to myself and say that this ONE TIME won't hurt and I will start over tomorrow - therefore the yo-yoing back and forth! But I am so grateful that I can identify my problem - I just need to come to grips with it and do what I know to do. It is not like I am in denial. I know and will admit what my problem is - I am just choosing to not do anything about it. But that stops today! (how many times have I said that!) But at any rate, like I told someone else today - don't give up. And I will take my own advice and I won't give up - I will continue on to the bitter end.

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