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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Still here! St. Jude Half this Saturday

I am still here.  Just not happy with myself right now.  I have gained some weight and am finding it hard to lose.   I have been focusing on my running and maybe I need to focus on the weight loss.  The running is a lot harder when I gain weight of course.

I have my fourth St. Jude Half Marathon this Saturday and I hope it won't be too hard since I am a little heavier than before.  You would think with three HMs coming up I would be more health conscious but that is not what is happening I am afraid.  This compulsive overeating is about to get the best of me.  And it doesn't help that I live with a compulsive over eater  that is in severe denial as well!  But I can't blame him.  I make my own choices and I can chose to do right even when he doesn't.  So far that is NOT what I have done!!!

I can't seem to find any consistency with my healthy eating and my weight loss.  I do okay for a while then revert back to my unhealthy habits.  I don't know what I need to do.

  • Get real?  
  • Get serious?
  • Get drunk???? (just kidding - not gonna throw away 21 years of sobriety over this food issue)
Sometimes life stinks and sometimes it is great!  I can't always have it perfect.  

  • I have not been running much. 
  • I have not been eating healthy.
  • I have not been going to my OA meetings.
  • I have not been going to my AA meetings.  
I have only been working, working, working.  And my job is sometimes very stressful!  Well, enough of the excuses.  I won't do anything about anything until I get sick and tired of being sick and tired.  That much I  know!!!

But I am EXCITED about my half marathon this Saturday.  My time will probably suck but I WILL FINISH. 

All I want to do is cross that finish line -  
  1. Standing up
  2. With a smile on my face
  3. And wanting to do it all again!!!  
Until next time friends! 
Have a wonderful night!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Vacation over- MUST STOP EATING!!

I haven't posted in a while. Went to New York City on vacation the first wk of this month. LOVED IT!!!  Would go again tomorrow if I could.  So heart breaking to see the destruction there now.  :(

While on vacation I ate way to much and haven't stopped since I got back! Ouch!! And I am feeling it too!  But will get back on track asap. 

Tomorrow is the Biggest Loser 5K in Jackson. Ms.  My daughter is running it with me. Yea! !!  Going to be exciting.

I did a 5K last Saturday as well.  My time was better but not my best.  I must get this weight off in order to improve my running and my health.   I have been real SOB lately.  And BP was up at last visit to doc.  Hope it is better at next visit.  Have not been diagnosed with Hypertension and don't want to be! 

Going to bed now.  Hopefully i can get some rest. I can never sleep well the night before a race. 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


Lower body workout tonight: Some of these I have made up my own name for them so I can remember them (and I don't know the real name. haha).

Weight machines -
Ab machine - 1 set of 200 reps @ 30 lbs.
Leg extensions 4 sets of 15 @ 55 lbs.
Seated leg curls 2 sets of 15 @55 lbs and 2 set of 15 @ 65 lbs.
Seated leg press - 2 sets of 15 @ 110 lbs and 2 sets of 15 @ 130 lbs.

Free Weights -
Toe raises with hand held weights
- 2 sets of 20 @ 25 lbs and 2 sets of 20 @ 20 lbs.

No weights for these -
Push aways (ab work) 30 reps (no weights with this exercise).

Knee bends (works the quads) 4 sets of 20 (no weights).

Lunges 4 sets of 12. OUCH !! I hate those!!!

Calories allotment:  1,350
Calories for today:  1,258. (not too shabby) :)

Have a great evening!!!!


Ok, so, someone posted a comment on my blog and said they were missing my posts.  How cool is that. Made me want to post right away.  Not that I have anything good to report.....

I have completely discontinued the fluid pill and my weight, not suprisingly, is up.  That sucks and I don't like it one bit but I know it is not only because of stopping the fluid pill.  We were on the road a lot last week and I ate several things that were not good for me.  So much so that I did not even record what I ate.  I could have just put 5,000+ calories and been done with it! 

I am back to keeping up with what I eat today.  My trainer said that all this exercise and working out is for nothing if we don't take our diet seriously. He is so right.  I have been running, biking, walking, treadmill, eliptical etc since 2009 but am at the same weight, give or take a pound or two!  I can exercise all I want but if I still eat too many calories, the weight is NOT coming off.  I know all the great and wonderful things that WORK when I am trying to lose weight, but more times that not, I want what I want, when I want it and my diet and hard work goes right out the window. 

I don't know what it will take to stop this insanity.  I have hardly any consequences from my overeating other than the fact that I don't like the way I look.  But today I have been having some stomach upset and I know it is from all the fast food that I ate over the weekend.  Of course when that goes away I will forget it even happened and go right back to what I know best! 

Changing habits that have been with me for over 40 years is damn hard but not impossible.  I will continue to try to do better.  I will NEVER give up on this journey to be a healthy person!!

My motivational quote today is in the form of a picture.  Enjoy -

It's STILL time for a change....

MAKE it a great day,

Friday, September 7, 2012


Yesterday was day 10 and it was a pretty good day.
I am sore from gym workout with weight machines but I knew I would be.

I am also so tired. I have a full time job and two part-time jobs and I am not getting enough sleep.  One of these part-time jobs is only temporary so I will suffer through till the end.

Yesterday I had several periods of feeling extremely hungry even though I don't think I could have been really hungry but my stomach growled.  And I went to bed feeling that way.  But guess what  - it didn't kill me.  I still woke up this morning.

Not sure how this blogging is gonna go - if I will post on the day of or the day after.  Finding the time to post is a problem.

Yesterday's stats:
Starting Weight 197
Current Weight - 195.6
Goal weight 140
Steps - 12,617
Exercise - 3 mile walk in the park.
Calories eaten 1,396

Motivational Thought for The Day

Enthusiasm releases the drive to carry you over obstacles and adds significance to all you do.

Norman Vincent Peale


Enthusiam also keeps me running when my mind says stop but I know my body can go the distance.  This will be week 5 of my half marathon training and we are scheduled for 6.5 miles this Sat.  When I lose this weight - and I will - I will be a little faster so it won't take as long to go the longer miles.  At least that is what I am shooting for! 

MAKE it a great day!

Thursday, September 6, 2012


It is getting hard to post every day but I will do my best.  I have a full time job and 2 part time jobs and in between working out I have a hard time being able to keep up with this blog but I feel I really need to so I will give it my best. 

My weight is down today - yes, I still weigh EVERY day or most days anyway.  Sometimes I forget to but that is rare. 

Had HARD workoujt  in the gym last night.  Worked on weight machines mostly.  Highest weight lifted was 55. 

I have the lower body strength and Almedia has the upper body strenth.  Put us together and we would be ferocious!!! Ha ha.  This is going to be short and sweet really.... it is. 


When you recognize that failing doesn't make you a failure, you give yourself permission to try all sorts of things.

Lauren Fleshman, American track and field athlete


I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13 

It's time for a change........

MAKE it a great day friends.


Tuesday, September 4, 2012


I want so bad to lie to you people and tell you I lost weight this week but I just can't do it.  That is a good thing - right?

I have had good days and a few bad days. I believe a few bad days can really wreck the few good days because when I have the bad days I can really put away some food.  My choices are always fried and high calorie foods and sweets and those calories can add up fast!

But...another problem I am having is what I believe to be a psychological dependence on fluid pills. I have been taking fluid pills for a year or so prescribed by a doctor.  Why you say?  Because I can!  Not because I need them.  I don't have high blood pressure or any medical reason for taking them.  I do have a big problem with fluid retention so sometimes I feel I look like this -

I know, I know, I probably NEVER look like this but that is what I feel like.  A week or so ago I stopped taking the fluid pills and my weight went up 7 POUNDS in just a few days. WOW !!  I could not handle that so I started them back and it went down.    Now - I really want to get off these things because I have no good reason for taking them other than vanity!  Yes, dear friends - vanity.  Oh don't look so shocked.  You know you have it too sometimes.  We all do.  We sometimes care what other people will think about us.  Too fat, too skinny, too poor, too ugly.   But I can honestly say that my problem with what other people think about me is not nearly as bad as it used to be!  Sometimes I still care, but only sometimes, not all the time like I used to.  When I remember how much Jesus loves me and that in HIS eyes I am perfect that feeling of what you must be thinking about me quickly goes away.  It it not important what YOU think of me.   And the truth be known, you are probably not thinking anything about me at all!! It is all in my mind.  My sick twisted mind that talks to me and tells me I have fat, ugly, not good for anything, dumb, stupid, you know the drill.  You probably have those conversations in your head sometimes too.  But praise the Lord I can counteract those negative feelings and thoughts with positive ones and come out of the funk I am in.  

Oh wait - off topic here.  Back to the fluid pills - I am still going to stop taking them and I will probably see a weight "gain" which will be fluid I am sure but i can help that with drinking more water which I am trying to do anyway. So my weigh-ins will probably be up and down for a while until my body gets used to not having the fluid pills.  It is what it is.  But I want to be healthy and not depend on pills to get me there.  

Exercise is one thing that makes me feel great.  Whether I do it for 30 minutes or an hour or however long, it never ceases to make me feel better.  Today we walked a good 2 miles in the park and it was HOT!!  We ran some on the last half mile.  Trainer Curtis was even sweating and he doesn't usually sweat!  He he... we were excited that even he was getting a good workout today!!   We felt like we were putting him through the ringer...NOT!!  

So without any further adieu, here are my stats for today:

Previous weight 197.3 
Weight today - 200
Calories - 1,429
Exercise - 45 minutes of walking/some running but not much. 
Fluid pill today - yes.
Water - 15 cups - yes - 15!!!   (ya for me!!)

Motivational Quote For Today

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” - Lao Tzu.

Scripture For Today

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession,that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Day 6.

Cheese and crackers for breakfast.

TGIF Friday pecan crusted chicken salad for lunch.  Shared brownie with ice cream with daughter-in-law.

Stuffed eggs, grilled cheese for supper.

Enjoying my time with my grandson, Charlie!

No exercise today. :(

Motivational Quote: 
What are stumbling blocks and defeat before you, can be stepping stones to victory if you remain determined.

I am determined!!

MAKE it a great evening.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Day 5

Visiting my grandson.  No fried foods today.  A good day so far.

Got three mile run in this morning.

Friday, August 31, 2012


Went OVER my calories today.  Did fine until we went out to eat for supper.  I have no idea how many calories were in what I ate so I had to guesstimate.  I ate a salad, GRILLED chicken with angel hair pasta and had cheese cake for dessert. BUT -  I only ate 1 2 bites of the cheese cake and gave the rest to Major.

I had already decided I was not going to eat but a few bites of it and I stuck to my guns!!

I feel so stuffed right now.  But considering how I usually eat when I eat out, I think I did pretty good.  I suppose I am getting used to eating a smaller amount.  That is a good thing.

I should have stuck with the salad I usually get, but Major wanted to get the 5:00 special which was a salad, your meal and then dessert.  I wanted to split a meal but he wouldn't go for that.  And the main course was smaller than what most places serve.  I even left some on my plate.  So, all is not lost.

It is so hard with a husband who needs to eat better but doesn't care to.  I probably should not have gone.  Maybe next time I will tell him no.  He will just have to get mad or find someone else to go with him!!

I won't dwell on it.  And I won't beat myself up about it.  I did better than I usually do.

Tomorrow is another day to start fresh!


With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.

It's time for a change....

MAKE it a great day,


Thursday, August 30, 2012


7:00 a.m.

Breakfast -
1 - Peanut butter and jam sandwich
1 - String cheese
8 - Wheat thin crackers

As we had no electricity this morning I could not cook, (which I don't normally do anyway, hehe..) so a P&J sandwich it was!!

9:05 a.m. - I ate a nice breakfast at 7:00 a.m. Why am I so damn hungry????  Snack time is at 10 a.m.  I will hold out till then because I can't really be THAT hungry now can I????  But my stomach is growling.  I guess it is used to more food that it has been getting lately and it is revolting!

10:00 a.m. Ate snack of 1 string cheese and 8 nut-thins pecan crackers which are yummy by the way!!!!

11:30 - Did 20+ flights of stairs at work. My legs were shaking from weakness! 

12:15 p.m. Ate lunch  Amy's Black Bean and Cheese Enchilada with rice.

1:49 p.m.  - I AM STARVING....No, not really but my stomach is growling.  Snack time is now at 3:00 p.m. WILL NOT EAT TILL THEN!!! And then I am planning on having Light and Fit peach yogurt for 80 calories. 

I have had 835 calories so far.   My calorie allotment is 1300.  That is not much, IMHO!!!  Not sure what I'm having for supper yet......

We got off early because of the weather and I was hungry so I decided to eat supper early (4 p.m.) and go to bed early (yeah right)...ha ha.   I have lots of typing to do so I will keep busy with typing and will have my evening snack and go to bed.  I am committed to doing that.

So, lets wind up this day, shall we -

Breakfast - 450 calories
10 am snack - 125 calories
Lunch - 240 calories
3 pm snack - 110
Supper - 273 calories
Evening snack - 110 calories

TOTAL 1,308 calories for the day.  Yea!!

We have a huge staircase and I climbed it up AND down 20+ times at lunch today. I lost count. Weather was bad so I could not go outside to walk.  And no workout today with trainer.

If I could burn calories typing, I would be the size of a toothpick!!!!

So today was pretty good.  It is now 6:30 and I since I have committed to YOU, the people, my accountability partners, what I have eaten or will eat, I WILL do as I have said.  

Thank you for your continued support and encouragement!  I really need it!  And I hope you have had a great healthy and active day as well.


Lee IacoccaYou've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough, I can have it. It's called perseverance.

It's time for a change......

MAKE it a great day, 


Wednesday, August 29, 2012


This is going to be short and sweet because I just got home from the gym after my grueling workout and I am sore.  It is 8:57 and I still have lots of typing to get done. :)

I did well today on my food.  Around 10 am I walk into the kitchen at work for my snack and this is what I saw: 

But I DID NOT EAT ANY!  I really did not even want them.  I told myself I did not want them, I got what I came to the kitchen for and I did not linger.  And not but  1 time did I even think about them.  Usually that is ALL I THINK ABOUT if I know they are in the kitchen.  Ya for me!!

Calories today 1,225.  

  • 1.5 mile walk at lunch. 

At the gym: 
  • 1 slow lap around the gym.
  • 2 fast laps around the gym.
  • Lots of floor exercises, jumping jacks, lungs etc.  
  • Biceps curl machine - 3 sets of 12 @ 30 pounds.  
  • Chest press machine - 3 sets of 12 # 15 pounds.
  • Ab machine - 77 reps in 2 minutes.  
  • Exercise with a 10 pound ball.
  • Arm exercises with free weights.  
I can't name all of the things we did.  We spent 1 hour and 15 minutes in the gym and my body is feeling it!!!!

I took some Advil because I know I might be a little sore in the morning. This is our last "official" workout with trainer this week.  

I might be going to visit my grandson and I must remember to eat well and exercise while there.  I tend to "let go" when I am at their house but I will make an effect to eat right this time.   

I feel well and confident that I can do this thing - this time!!  

I did get extremely hungry at work but I decided to forego my snack and wait till supper.  I am counting calories and did not want to go over.  

Another little tool I am using is  this website for calorie counting .  They also have an app that I use. I love it because I can just scan the bar code for all of my food and it is entered in.  It is so easy to use and not time consuming like some of the other I have used.  

I am also using the Fitbit.  I love this little tool.  It is like a pedometer but a whole lot more.  It counts may steps, my calories burned, any flights of stair I might climb.  It is a really cool little tool.  It  is small and clips onto my pants at the waist or I can even just carry it in  my pocket. I LOVE IT.   It is so bad that I almost have to come back home if I forget it when I leave for work!  Here is a pic.  
So here are my stats for my Fitbit today:

10,906 steps
4.57 total miles traveled 
2,245 calories burned

I don't rely too heavily on the calories burned on this but that does include my TOTAL calories for the WHOLE DAY and not just when I was exercising.  Believe it or not, we burn calories just by breathing but not too many.  :)

So there you have it.  All in all, today was a good day.  I am sure not all days will be this good but I will enjoy them while I can.  

Maybe this wasn't so short after all.  At any rate, I must get back to work.  Please continue to pray for me and if you stop by and read my blog please leave me some love (encouragement).  I need all the help I can get.  

Today's quote is from Jillian Michaels:

Why are you choosing failure when success is still an option?  

It's time for a change.....


Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I have been keeping up with my weight loss (or gain or stay the same) since 2006. In 2006 I weighed 238 - my highest ever!!  I proceeded to lose 70 pounds with the help of diet pills.  But I knew I could not keep taking them forever so I stopped them and my appetite returned like a vengeance!!  I gained back about 30 pounds so I am currently at a 41 pound weight loss.  I started running in 2009 thinking that would help me lose weight but at no time did I change my eating habits - at least not for very long.  So - to make a long story short - I am been staying the same, give or take 10 pounds, for about 3 years.  And I am sick of it.

I have run numerous 5Ks, 10Ks, and 4 half marathons and I am not fast but I do finish them.  I have been killing myself trying to run faster and I have improved a little bit.  On most days I am happy just to be out there and able to move.  But I want MORE!  I want to be faster, finish quicker, make new PRs and I know I can't do that without weight loss. So that is where I stand today. I have the exercise and running down pat.  I can do that - no problem.  It's the food I struggle with but I am about to change that.  Don't get me wrong - I am sure it will still be a struggle but I feel I am worth it and I want it really bad.  I am tired of being the "fat" woman.  I am tired of my back hurting, although not too bad, but mainly I just want to be

 I want to live a long time for my grandchildren. I am only 55.  Some days that feels old and other days it feels young.

So - my long story is turning out long instead of short.  Sorry, I will finish it up. So TODAY  is day 1 of my healthy lifestyle.  I am going to lose around 50 pounds.  And I need YOUR HELP.  Please read my blog and if you feel lead to, please comment and encourage me. If you have any pointers you could give me that would be nice.  After years of being in recovery one thing I do know - conquering any addiction or problem is a lot easier with others along side me!  So I plan to post my weigh-ins each week, maybe some of what I am eating, and of course my exercise.  So here goes -

Weight today - 197.3
Weight goal - 140
Pounds lost - 0

Today and yesterday I worked with my trainer Curtis and my friend Almedia  in the park. It was a hard workout.  He is helping me to run faster. And we are going to begin weight lifting tomorrow. I am super excited about that.  I have always wanted to try weight lifting.

So, if you will notice my weight tracker above, I have started over. I am not counting the 41 pounds I have already lost. I am starting at 0 lost and will work from there.  It's really humbling to do that.  I want everyone to see that I have lost 41 pounds!! But as long as it says that, I get comfortable and prideful and don't do very well at weight loss. Yes, I have lost some weight and I am pound of that but I still have 50 pounds to go.  So I am not the finished product yet.

I am sure I will have good days and bad days but please bear with me. I am not perfect and I am looking for progress not perfection.

It's time for a change...


Monday, August 27, 2012

Make a choice and stick to it - no matter what!

Today I have decided I am going to throw in the towel. Give up you say?? No – not give up. I am going to decide TODAY (one more time) to do this thing. I have been going up and down on a weight loss roller coaster ride for the past few years. I am going to throw in the towel on negativism, on using food for comfort, etc. etc. you get the jest of it.

I think the hardest part for me is knowing I have to do this for the rest of my life. Why can’t I just be skinny. Why wasn’t I born skinny? I don’t know the answer to that. I do know that I will have to struggle with this weight issue forever and I don’t like that thought. But, I can take comfort in what I learned in treatment when I was trying to quit drinking – ONE DAY AT A TIME. Why do I find that so hard to do? I should be able to do anything for just ONE DAY. Including listening to my stomach growl, thinking I am going to die if I don’t have that {fill in the blank} food I am craving, wanting that fried or sweet thing so bad that I could cry but not wanting to give in.

I started this blog a while back hoping to give encouragement to others in their weight loss journey and also to get some encouragement. But unfortunately I don’t feel I have been much encouragement. I have not done the things I started out to do. I have “slipped” back and forth between weight loss and weight gain therefore not really making any progress other than staying relatively close to the same weight for a few years.

I am working out like a demon on most days so the only thing I can up with is I must be eating a tremendous amount of calories to not be losing weight. And there is no guessing to that. I KNOW I am doing that. Just one meal at a fast food joint can wipe out my calorie allotment for the day. I know this but I do it anyway. I am sabotaging myself. Why? Why do I do this? And I know that the first bite will lead to another one, and another one, and another one. That first bite is what does me in. It’s like drinking – if I don’t have the first drink I will never have the whole fifth or the whole bottle. Simple, but oh so hard to do sometimes.

When I quit drinking some 20+ years ago I had resolve to never drink again no matter what. And I made it! When I quit smoking some 18+ years ago I had the same resolve – to not pick up that FIRST cigarette – no matter what! Why oh why is food so much harder? I guess because I have to eat. I don’t have to smoke or drink but I have to eat to survive. There is no way around it!

I read a great blog the other day and she talked about retraining the brain. You can read her blog  here. I think that is what I need to do. I have lived with overeating and the “diet” mentality for so long it is second nature for me. I live to eat when I need to eat to live.

I meant to weigh today when I got up but I did not. So I will weigh in the morning and that will be my starting (again) weight. And I will post it here. No, I don’t want to. But I feel it will help me be accountable. I NEED and WANT accountability. That is the only way this thing will work.

And I want anyone who reads this to feel free to post comments and encouragement and anything you think will help me. I will work up my stats tonight (hopefully) and post them on tomorrow.

Right now I am starving!!!!! No, not really, but my mind tells me I am and I am going to stop listening to my mind lie to me. Because I know it will. It did for years when I was drinking and drugging. I don’t have to listen to that today. I don’t!! In reality I know that if I don’t eat that donut or pizza or whatever that I absolutely WILL NOT DIE. Even if my mind tells me I going to.

So tomorrow will be day 1 and I will post my weight and maybe what I am eating and the exercise I am doing. And I will certainly include my races that I compete it. I love running but I hate that I am so overweight that I am not a little faster. I competed in a 5K yesterday and I finished last. Don’t get me wrong – I have finished last before and it’s no big deal. At least I am out there doing something and not sitting on the couch. But I am tired of just getting by. I want to do better. I want to improve – not just get by. I don’t necessarily want to win, I just want to improve. After all, I am 55 years old and I had never exercised in my life until a few years ago. So I have improved since I first started this journey but I want to continue to improve. Not die a fat old lady in terrible health but I want quality of life for the few years I have left here on this earth. That’s not too much to ask is it? But – it’s all up to me. I am the captain of my ship. I am in control of my destiny. I can do this thing or I can continue to whine about why it’s not working.

It is about quality of life for me. Do I want to just merely survive or do I want to live life to the fullest?

It’s my choice.

Make a choice Betty and this time STICK TO IT!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2012


I love food. It’s plain and simple. I LOVE FOOD. I guess I love food more than being healthy, more than losing weight, more than running faster, almost more than life itself. Because if I keep eating like this I will die. I am going to die anyway but I could die sooner if I continue my unhealthy way of life.

I am sure many of you have heard this before…I do good for a while and then slip back into my old ways. Wait a minute - - - slip??? Is that a good word? Do I really slip or do I just do what I WANT TO DO, like I was sharing with someone earlier, while I was eating the biggest piece of white chocolate bread pudding I have ever seen!! The thought did cross my mind that “I certainly don’t need this” and I even stated that fact OUT LOUD to my friend sitting across the table from me, who by the way did NOT get dessert. And even that did not stop me. Simply put – I did what I WANTED TO DO.

That is it in a nutshell. Left to my own devices I will ALWAYS do what I want. Not what you want or he wants or anyone else wants – only what I want!!

And I guess here lately I have wanted to eat LOTS of things that are not good for me. I am a fast food junkie and once I start that cycle, it is hard to quit. But I will quit. And you know when?

WHEN I WANT TO and not a minute before. I have just got to find a reason to want to!!!!!!!!

Pray for me people.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Summer Workout

This is a fun video my friend Almedia made.  It shows us working out in the gym.  It was all in fun and we had a great time doing it!

Summer Workout

Thursday, July 19, 2012

No Mental Defense Against The First Bite

At a certain point in the drinking overeating of every alcoholic compulsive overeater, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking eating compulsively is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected.
The fact is that most alcoholics compulsive overeaters, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink eating compulsively.  Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink compulsive bite. 
The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a first bite of that glass of beer binge food do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
The alcoholic compulsive overeater may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink eat in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar kitchen table or fast food counter and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink bite." Or "What's the use anyhow?"
When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic compulsive overeating tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane.  - from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous page 24.  

Say what????  

Yes, this is the way it was for me some 20+ years ago. But God freed me from that obsession.  Now I have the same problem with food.  And I know the answer to my problem.  I'm just not willing to do it  - at least not a continual day-to-day basis.  I have a few good days or weeks then I kill it with a huge, usually fried, meal with a huge dessert!  And once I eat that dessert all my mind is thinking of is - MORE SUGAR PLEASE!!!  

At my weigh-in tomorrow morning I hope to be BACK to what I was two weeks ago.  A good weekend of eating compulsively and it takes me TWO WEEKS to get back to where I was.  Does that surprise me? Nope!  I do it all the time.  I let my guard down and just like it says above - I am unable, at certain times, to bring into my consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.  I am without defense against the first compulsive bite! 

I do not remember the night I laid awake all night with a stomach ache from all the fried foods I ate.  I do not remember the ways I am swollen from all the salt.  I seem to forget how horrible I feel after eating fast foods on a regular basis. But AFTER I have eaten it and the guilt and pain sets it - then and only then - do I remember - oh yeah!  I might should not have done that!  But - too late.  

I know my solution is in God just as it was when I first started AA meetings. I learned about God in AA and about unconditional love and forgiveness.  I am fond of saying that "the AA meetings led me straight to the cross!"  Praise Jesus!

Because He loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;  I will protect him, for He acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him."  (Psalm 91:14-15)

I know my Jesus loves me and he doesn't desire to see me suffer.  The suffering I bring all on myself.  I MUST call on him more, as I did when I first got clean and sober!  Jesus must be my first thought as I fight this battle with my compulsive self.  

Only He can save me.  That much I do know!

MAKE it a great day my friends!


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The weekend sucked!

Not a good weekend. Back to bad habits again.

Must . Get . Back . On . Track.

Workout tomorrow at 6.

Have taken on another job. Trying to not let it interfere with my workouts!

This is short and sweet tonight.

Monday, July 2, 2012

My Drug of Choice and Starting Over

Why is it when I am upset the first thing I think about is hurting MYSELF! Before I got sober it was alcohol and drugs. Before that it was sex and relationships and finally after breaking free from all that – food became my drug of choice. Actually I believe food was my “drug of choice” long before the others, but with all the drugs and alcohol I was pouring into my body, the last thing I was worried about was how much food I was eating and my weight!

So with the help of an outpatient treatment program and many, many AA meetings and finally a relationship with a higher power named Jesus, I was able to kick most of those demons that were plaquing me. But food has been an issue from the day I was born. It is funny; when I look back on some old pictures I am not fat. I am not skinny but I am not fat either. I don’t know why I always thought I was fat when I was growing up. I remember seeing my mother take numerous diet aids and going to weight loss meetings of TOPS – Take Off Pounds Sensibly. She had these little square chewy things wrapped in foil that we were not supposed to eat. I believe they were called Aids. You were supposed to eat them before a meal and you would lose weight. Of course I ate them, I guess just because she said not to. They were terrible!

I don’t know if seeing her struggle with her weight made ME think I was fat or what! My mother was successful at the TOPS meetings and she actually won a trophy for her efforts. But the weight always came back on. My mother grew up on a farm and they ate very well. Of course I was exposed to that food also as a child. It was nothing to have the dinner table so full of food there was hardly room to eat at the table. There was usually two meats, and several vegetables and of course many desserts. I was in heaven. There is no telling how many calories I would consume on those days.

But I digress. Actually, the point I was getting to was how I still use food when I am upset. Yesterday was one of those days. It’s strange how I can be floating along with everything seeming to be fine and then bam!! A wrench gets thrown into the mix. The first thing my mind tells me is to eat something. And yes, the food does taste good and it makes me feel good - temporarily. Then the guilt sets in and I hate myself (one more time) and the vicious cycle starts all over again!! But today I won’t do that. I will NOT do that. I won’t!! I refuse to gain this weight back. I know that yesterday was not a total loss but I did not eat “good” foods for me. And I also did not allow the guilt to get to me. I won’t let anything stop me this time.      I . SIMPLY . WON’T.

At least today I recognize where my failures are, what I am doing wrong and how to stop the downfall before too much damage is done. And one good thing about living is that I can start over at anytime. Major always says, “as long as someone is breathing, there is always hope” - So today is a start-over day. I didn’t do too much damage yesterday but it was not my best day either.

So – here’s to starting over.

If you are starting over today, suck it up and move on. It is only a temporary setback. Get right back to doing what you know works!! That’s what I’m gonna do and I’ll let you know how it goes!

MAKE it a great day friends.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012


Wow!  Yesterday was really great!  My stats were:

14,578 steps
20 floors climbed
6.81 miles traveled
2,243 calories burned
1,546 calories eaten

I have lost 5 pounds in the past month.  I know to some that will sound like a slow job but it's okay with me!  A loss is a loss!!  It is SO much better than a gain!!

My OA meeting was great.  There were only two of us there though. We read from the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous.  It's funny how you can read something that you have read before and see it in an entirely different way.  Cool!!

I have lost a total of 16 pounds this year.  For the first couple of months I was yo-yo-ing back and forth but I believe I have broken my plateau.  My workout tonight with trainer and friends was awesome!  We walked/ran/jumping jacked and steam engined our way through 2 miles.  It was hot but we did it!  We would walk a little bit and then run a short sprint for as fast as we could.  It was a heart pumping workout alright!!!!  In between the runs and walks we did jumping jacks, steam engines, get-ups, etc.  Tomorrow we are going to bring our mats and work out on our abs some.  My trainer likes to workout outdoors.  And that is fine with me.  The hotter it is, the more calories I can burn, and I might get a tan too.  Although  I do wear sunscreen. After our workout today I came home and cleaned out the pool, swept off the patio, since Major had mowed the yard and made a mess, but I didn't complain because every step was more calories burned.  I am learning to like NOT sitting on the couch and watching TV from when I get home from work till bedtime. I spend enough time sitting at my job all day and then my second job at home at night typing.  We will be working out tomorrow again in the park.

I am determined this time to really do this deal!!!  Nothing can stop me but me!!!  And this time I want to succeed.

MAKE it a great day friends, 


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Good days and bad and I'm not perfect.

Hey everybody! I had a not so good weekend but back on tract today. I ate out Sat. night and had meatballs and spaghetti AND dessert! The biggest problem with eating out for me is the sodium content! I can “gain” 5 pounds from eating out 1 time. I know it is just water weight from the sodium so I don’t let it get me down. And generally when I am not eating right, I am also not drinking enough water. I have found that water is a wonderful thing (even though I still don’t like it). If I drink a big glass before I eat, I will eat less. It makes me feel full. It also helps me with the swelling that I have from the too much sodium I usually get. I would love to say I drink around 8-10 glasses a day but that is not true. I generally do better during the week while at work. I have started drinking water when I eat out instead of a diet coke. I had a diet coke the other day, the first one in a long time, and it did not even taste good! I can’t say that I love water yet but I am learning to “like” it. Crystal Light has become my new BFF. I do drink a lot of crystal light! So that is better than no water at all. Not long ago the only water that touched my mouth was when I brushed my teeth.

I have not been able to blog every day. My life is just not that interesting. But I saw a picture that made me want to come here and blog today:

Thanks Motive Weight Website  for the pic today!!

I know that writing about my good days and bad days are helpful. I have diaries from way back that I have written in. It is interesting to go back and read them. One thing I need is accountability!! Knowing that people may read this blog helps me to stay honest. I only want to inspire others and hopefully I am able to do that. I know that my writing about the good AND bad will help others because we all have bad days. Every day is not good!

When I read about someone else’s day it helps me to realize that all is not lost. So I may have had a bad day! Just pick up and carry on. It’s not the end of the world. There used to be a time when a setback would keep me down and I would use that as an excuse to give up and succumb to the compulsive overeating monster!!! I would continue on that downward spiral until I had gained back all the weight PLUS some! Then would come the self-hatred and the loathing of myself, the depression and the negative self-talk. Today I don’t do that. I have become a much more positive person. I have realized that I am not and never will be perfect. I have also come to realize that I am not a quitter and having a bad day now and then will not stop me from reaching my goal. It may just take me longer but I WILL get there.

Yesterday was a good day. After the “not so good” weekend I picked back up yesterday with good eating habits and lots of water etc. Doing the things I know I should be doing. I worked out at the park with my friends and trainer. We ran/walked 3+ miles. It was nice. The weather was not too terribly hot as it was cloudy. At times there was a nice breeze blowing. It is so much fun to work out with friends and to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me. Before I know it, the time has past, the miles are done and we are finished! I have a hard time working out by myself. I will do it but it is so much more enjoyable to work out with friends.

Well, I guess I have rattled on enough for today. Oh….my Fitbit stats last week – pretty impressive. I forgot my Fitbit yesterday morning so my step count will be low for Monday but that’s ok. I know I was moving!

Week of June 11 – June 17
Total: 56,655
Daily average steps: 8,094
Weekly best: 12, 920 steps

Total distance: 24.05 miles
Daily average: 3.44
Weekly best: 5.33

Total floors climbed: 12
Daily average: 2
Weekly best: 11

Total calories burned: 13,949
Daily average: 1,993
Weekly best: 2,172

Total in vs out: -3,001
Calories burned: 13,949
Calories eaten: 7,448 (this is not totally correct as some days I did not log ALL my food on My Fitness Pal  , which is a great website for keeping tract of calories by the way). 

Lightest weight: 195.8
Heaviest weight: 196.4
Weight change: - 0.6 pounds

Most active day was Monday

Least active day was Sunday (looks like I need to move more on Sunday!!)

And this morning I started out with a 1 mile run on the home treadmill!  Yea me!!!  Have to pat myself on the back because I am NOT a morning person!!!

MAKE it a great day friends!!

~ Betty ~

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Slowly but surely beats fast and furious...every time!

Slowly but surely…..hummm….I think I like fast and furious better! But that’s not the way of successful weight loss now is it?   I have lost 1,000’s of pounds but have not been very successful in keeping them off in the past.  I lost 60 pounds back in 2008 and gained back about 40 of that.  So I have been able to keep some of that weight from returning but now I am working on really getting down to my “goal weight”. 

Since the first of this year I have lost 14 pounds and since buying my Fitbit I have lost 7 of those pounds.  I want to say I am really determined this time but I have said that before ….and failed.  So I will just say that I am taking it “one day at a time” and that is all I can really handle anyway.  It is the same as with alcohol – I have a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition. Based on that, a few other things I have had to do, and the “one day at a time” philosophy I have been able to stay clean and sober for over 20 years.  Surely I can somehow incorporate that into my compulsive overeating and be successful at this as well.  I think what has helped me to keep some of this weight off was finally admitting that I AM  a compulsive overeater and that one bite of  whatever it may be will only set me on a downward spiral.  Just as sure as I can’t have 1 drink, there are some foods that I don’t need to have 1 of either.  I haven’t quite conquered that concept yet but I am working on it.  Overeaters anonymous meeting have greatly helped me to understand myself and my eating habits.  And it is great to be able to share how I feel with others who understand.  People who don’t struggle with this issue sometimes can’t quite grasp the concept of being a compulsive overeater.  And they even think the idea of meetings for such a problem is strange!  I have even had people laugh in my face and say, “they have meetings for that?”  But that is okay, to each his own. I know what works for me.  And like I have always heard, if it is working, why stop doing it!!

Reading about others who have been successful in this endeavor is always motivational for me. So I search the internet for others who have lost weight in a healthy way and are keeping it off.  One such person is here.  Check out his story.  It is awesome!   And his  book is great too!  He is also on facebook as well.  Just search for Sean Anderson.  

And as I have said so many times before though - I won’t quit.  I won’t give in.  I won’t!!  I just won’t!!  It may take me one year or several years to get this done but I will do it.  And if I can motivate others along their journey – then so much the better! 

MAKE it a great day friends!!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

My Fitbit, running, and this and that

Here are my stats from my  FITBIT.  I have to admit that ever since getting this little gadget I have been moving more and getting in more steps. It is definitely a motivator for me. I love competing with my friends on the web site. And I love the fact that it syncs to my computer the moment I walk in the room. No buttons to push, nothing to enter on the Fitbit web site unless I just want to enter my food I ate. But I do that with the  my fitness pal web site and that syncs to my Fitbit account. So all I have to do is enter my food eaten and water, if you keep up with that, and everything else is done. Yea!! It’s a breeze. I have lost 6 pounds since getting it.

Steps 16,653
Distance 8.78
Floors: 1
Calories burned – 2,703
Calories eaten – 1,120
Water – 7 cups
Sedentary: 10 hrs 55 min; 63% of my day
Light Activity: 3 hr 41 min; 21% of my day
Fairly active: 1 hr 27 min; 8% of my day
Very active: 1 hr 14 min; 7% of my day

Yesterday was great! I went straight to the gym from work and got in 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the elliptical. Exercise really does make me feel so much better. I wonder why it is so hard to get going some times when I know how great I will feel afterwards!!

My trainer and exercise buddy have been “missing in action” lately and I guess I will have to learn to go it alone. Hopefully this is only temporary.

In my running I have had to go it alone as well. There is almost no one that is as slow and as dedicated as me so I have no running buddies on a regular several time a week basis. I do have a great group of friends that run with me on most Saturdays when our running group meets but I would love someone who would like to run on a regular basis maybe 3 times a week or so. And when I talk “running” to some people they get all bent out of shape. When I say run, I mean run/walk. What I do – anyone can do. I don’t care how young, old, big or small you are. Although I can and have run without walking for up to 3 miles, I don’t usually do that unless I am on the treadmill. Running outside is so much harder than on the treadmill!! But I do whatever I feel like doing because after all – it is MY run. But I sure would love to have company. It is so much easier getting out the door when I know I have someone waiting on me who enjoys it like I do. Once I take that first step it gets better after that. But getting out the door sure is hard sometimes!

Growing up I was shy and quiet and scared of most people. It is hard to believe that today I am a “people” person. I love people, love being with people and love group things. A relationship with my Higher Power, whom I choose to call Jesus, is what changed all that. I do believe that without Him I would still be that shy, quiet, scared, lonely and depressed couch potato that I always was; wanting so badly to do things differently but so terribly scared to begin. My life is good today and will my continued healthy lifestyle I believe it will get even better.

MAKE it a great day friends and get up and MOVE!!

~ Betty ~

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

It Will All Be Worth It!

Was reading my last post titled "This OA way is working" and I realized that OA does work IF I WORK IT! And I have not been working it lately. I began working out with a trainer and was doing well but we had a 2 week hiatus and I let some old habits slip back in. What a minute - what am I saying??? I did not let anything "slip" in! I knew what I was doing when I was doing it! I wanted that food and I ate it. For a while my healthy eating plan went out the window and I ate all the things I said I wouldn't and all the things that are not good for me. I think it all started wtih some candy and went downhill from there. But irregardless of the reason I DO see the pattern and am putting a stop to it right here and now. A friend has recently started his weight loss journey and writing about it on his blog and he has inspired me to keep on keeping on. Yes, some days it is extremely hard and some days are easy but either way - IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT - that much I do know!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

This OA Way Is Working!

I have had a few good days so far! My abstinent date is January 22. I have lost 8 pounds so far. I plan to continue doing the best I can. I know that one day at a time is important and I have finally realized that if I stay away from the"first" one, I don't have to worry about the 10th one or the 20th one and so on!! My obsession with food has been removed. I no longer feel sorry for myself when I can't have something. I WANT to eat healthy. I really WANT to do this deal! My eating has been going great but my exercise has been nonexistent. I am going to work on that! MAKE it a healthy day friends! I know you can!

Monday, January 30, 2012

One Day At A Time? Why didn't I think of that before?

I have been doing really well with my eating.   I have been exercising regularly and have cut out fried foods for a while. They tend to not agree with me.  I have been cutting down on the sweets too.  I have the mid set of "one day at a time" instead of  "poor me! I can never have that again!"  I am choosing to not eat some things because they are not healthy for me but I can eat it if I want too.  Today - I did not want too.  After reading   Sean's Book - My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back I realized that food was not the enemy. I was my worst enemy.  God made us to need food and it is my fault if I abuse that.

I have been going to OA for over a year and would have a good weeks but never anything longstanding.  Why did it take that long to realize that I could treat my addiction to food just like I did my addition to drugs and alcohol?  I could drink alcohol today, if I chose too, but one day at a time, for over 20 years, I have chosen not too - because I know what will happen if I do.

The same with food - I know what certain foods will do to me and if I never put them in my mouth, I never have to go through the withdrawals again.  I did the same thing with nicotine.  I quit cold turkey because I knew just one cigarette would put that nicotine right back into my system and I would have to go through the nicotine withdrawal all over again.  Was it easy?  Not on your life,  But it was so worth it!!!!

So, one day at a time, I will choose to not eat certain foods because I know what the outcome will be. And if I feel like I am losing the fight - I will just pick up Sean's book and start re-reading it (because I keep it close by) and I'm sure that will keep me on the straight and narrow!

Take at look at what I chose not to eat today....because I knew "just one" would not be enough and I would go back for more.  So if I don't start with the first one I don't ever have to have the second one...and the third...and the 100th one!!! And, sadly it is like this almost every day at work...~sigh~

But I can do this thing - and SO CAN YOU!!!!

Take care friends,

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Book Review - Transformation Road-My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back by Sean Anderson

If you want a funny, motivational, and very enjoyable book to read about losing weight and getting your life back, check out Transformation Road - My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back by Sean Anderson.

He was once over 500 and now is at a normal weight. And.....he blogged every bit of his journey here...

You will love his story. I just finished his book and am amazed. You can also friend him on facebook. He has lots of great conversations via facebook and he statues are all motivational and uplifting. You won't be disappointed!

After reading his book, I am on my way, once again, to really getting this weight off and KEEPING IT OFF THIS TIME! Check out his web site, facebook and/or buy his book and let me know what you think!!

Have a blessed day friends.


Running Again and Precious Memories

I have decided it is not how fast or slow I go - it is just that I go! I finally got out there for a 2 mile run this morning. I saw a saying once that struck a cord with me - no matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch! That makes me feel better about doing this thing. Sometimes I let my low self esteem creep back in and I begin to think about what "others" think about me when and if they see me running. I try not to let it bother me and it doesn't most of the time. But when it does, it makes it hard for me to get out the door sometimes. I don't look like the typical runner. I am still overweight and have 50 pounds to lose but I love the way running makes me feel and just because I don't "look" like a typical runner, I still have every right to be out there.

No one has ever said anything to me about being an "overweight" runner and I have no reason to think anyone would, but I let those little voices in my head try to keep me on the couch. Have you ever heard, "I"m my own worst enemy" - well that is me sometimes. I'm not going to do that anymore. I have only gotten great encouragement from others !! It's time I stop listening to those voices in my head that try to keep me down.
So this morning me and my Lillie (dog) went for a 2 mile run and we had a great time!!! I have missed my running. I made a pack with my son that he and I would get back at it and start running again so we could participate in some races together. That should be a great motivator in inself! One of my favorite races was the Half Marathon my son and I ran together. He stayed with me step for step although he is much faster. He could have left me but he stayed by my side the whole 13.1 miles. I will always treasure that race. It was a tough one, in June and I am not sure I could have finished without him by my side. It was so freaking hot!!!! But we did it and that medal means more to me that anyone will ever know.

I wish I could get my daughter back out there as well. But she works so much most of the time. My PR for a 5K was one that I ran with my daughter. Once again I was encouraged by my child. She too, ran along beside me and when I was at my lowest point and thinking I would have to stop, she encouraged me. I have never had a 5K that fast since and I know it was because of her.

What fun my children and I have together!! There will always be precious memories of my children but I never once could imagine that they would include running! God really has a sense of humor. If he had said, Betty, when you are in your 50's you will be running road races wtih your children. Ha! That would have made for a great laugh but I am...doing just that!!!

God is good.

Take care my friends and remember to make precious memories with your family. One day that may be all you have. :)

Dedicated to my mother who passed away December 18, 2010. I miss you mom! And thanks for the memories.

A New Year = A New Start


I have finally.....finally.....finall

y realized that I am a compulsive overeater and cannot manage without the help of my Higher Power! Wow! What a concept! I knew it all along but was not "totally" convinced I suppose. I would try to have "just one" and that always lead to a relapse of some sort. I have to look at this process the same way I am able to stay sober day at at time.

I have been sober for 20+ years and I am sure if I apply what I have learned to my compulsive eating I will succeed. I guess I just have not been ready to make that commitment. But this year I am! I am tired of doing the yo-yoing back and forth. Yea - I have lost 40 pounds but that was almost six years ago and yes I have kept it off but I still have a lot more to go. I can't look at that 40 pounds as being successful today! That is in the past and I starting fresh TODAY. With the weight I am TODAY!

I have been eating everything and anything I wanted over the past month and have gained 10+ pounds. So, once again, I see how easy it comes back on. And I see how just one bite can move me in the wrong direction.

How many times have I said this?

How many times have I written about this?

Probably a few hundred or so. But I won't give up. I will keep on keeping on until I get it done. They say in AA "don't stop coming back before the miracle happens" and I won't stop doing this thing until I get the healthy body I want! My miracle is coming and it may be just around the corner. With the help of my Higher Power, my friends in OA, my Sparkpeople friends and the many positive actions I am going to take, I will get there. I feel it in my bones. This time is THE TIME. The time I get it right, the time I make it work, the time I give control over to my Higher Power and allow him to lead me into freedom from compulsive overeating.

Will it be easy? NO!

Will it be worth it? DEFINITELY!!!

Take care my friends.

Race Results for Half Marathon 12/03/11

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I completed my fourth half marathon. Yippee!!

My time was not as good as last year though. But my training has not been as agressive either. I am disappointed that I have not lost any weight by running and am beginning to realize that I need to focus on my eating habits.....which are way out of control!!! I can't rely solely on exercise. I must learn to eat in a healthy way.

After the HM I decided to take a break from all exercise. I have exercised only once since that HM. AND......THIS IS NO SURPRISE...I HAVE GAINED 10 POUNDS....

So I am planning to get back on track, one more time!!!! I have been attending OA meetings but we only have 1 a week and I really need more than that. I may look into some online meetings.

I am going to update my weight tracker and start from scratch. ~ sigh ~

St. Jude Half Marathon Dec 3rd, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

This will be short and sweet. I have been missing in action as far as spark People is concerned. But I am BACK! I have really got to get back on track. During my last 12 mile training run I realized how out of shape I really am!

My half marathon is tomorrow in Memphis and I feel ready. After this race is over I am going to regroup and see where I am and what I need to do. I desperately need to lose some more weight. I have recently gained almost 10 pounds. That's what happens when you decide you can do this thing alone and don't count calories, don't exercise as much, etc. etc. I find it so easy to slip back into my old behavior.....anyone else have that problem????

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season and I will post again with the results of my race.

Have a wonderful day friends!


To run or not to run...that is the question!


I have a 5K coming up in two weeks. Gonna be fun! I don't feel I'm in as good a shape as I used to be considering I am not running as much as I used too. It was really more fun when I had someone to run with. I am more motivated when I know someone is waiting on me to meet them. I keep saying I am going to get up and out the door whether I have anyone to run with or not and I do that - but not very often. I believe I would run every day if I had someone who wanted to do it as much as I do. All my running buddies have decided not to run for various reasons. On my 4 miles last Saturday which turned out to be a 5 miler (yeah)!! I ran alone because all the others were so much faster than me. But that's okay. At least I did it.

But I don't relish running 11 miles this Sat by myself.....booooo hooooo. But I guess I will do it. The half marathon is getting closer and closer. I missed my 9 mile long run and did not make it up so I can't miss any more.

I am really contemplating not doing any more half marathons after the St. Jude in December until I REALLY lose more weight. I would be a little faster if I lost more weight and would have a better chance of finding someone to run with.

I haven't really decided what I am going to do about my running, other than I know I won't stop running altogether. I do enjoy it and I know it's good for me.

I hope everyone has a great night!