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Monday, January 30, 2012

One Day At A Time? Why didn't I think of that before?

I have been doing really well with my eating.   I have been exercising regularly and have cut out fried foods for a while. They tend to not agree with me.  I have been cutting down on the sweets too.  I have the mid set of "one day at a time" instead of  "poor me! I can never have that again!"  I am choosing to not eat some things because they are not healthy for me but I can eat it if I want too.  Today - I did not want too.  After reading   Sean's Book - My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back I realized that food was not the enemy. I was my worst enemy.  God made us to need food and it is my fault if I abuse that.

I have been going to OA for over a year and would have a good weeks but never anything longstanding.  Why did it take that long to realize that I could treat my addiction to food just like I did my addition to drugs and alcohol?  I could drink alcohol today, if I chose too, but one day at a time, for over 20 years, I have chosen not too - because I know what will happen if I do.

The same with food - I know what certain foods will do to me and if I never put them in my mouth, I never have to go through the withdrawals again.  I did the same thing with nicotine.  I quit cold turkey because I knew just one cigarette would put that nicotine right back into my system and I would have to go through the nicotine withdrawal all over again.  Was it easy?  Not on your life,  But it was so worth it!!!!

So, one day at a time, I will choose to not eat certain foods because I know what the outcome will be. And if I feel like I am losing the fight - I will just pick up Sean's book and start re-reading it (because I keep it close by) and I'm sure that will keep me on the straight and narrow!

Take at look at what I chose not to eat today....because I knew "just one" would not be enough and I would go back for more.  So if I don't start with the first one I don't ever have to have the second one...and the third...and the 100th one!!! And, sadly it is like this almost every day at work...~sigh~

But I can do this thing - and SO CAN YOU!!!!

Take care friends,

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Book Review - Transformation Road-My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back by Sean Anderson

If you want a funny, motivational, and very enjoyable book to read about losing weight and getting your life back, check out Transformation Road - My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back by Sean Anderson.

He was once over 500 and now is at a normal weight. And.....he blogged every bit of his journey here...

You will love his story. I just finished his book and am amazed. You can also friend him on facebook. He has lots of great conversations via facebook and he statues are all motivational and uplifting. You won't be disappointed!

After reading his book, I am on my way, once again, to really getting this weight off and KEEPING IT OFF THIS TIME! Check out his web site, facebook and/or buy his book and let me know what you think!!

Have a blessed day friends.


Running Again and Precious Memories

I have decided it is not how fast or slow I go - it is just that I go! I finally got out there for a 2 mile run this morning. I saw a saying once that struck a cord with me - no matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch! That makes me feel better about doing this thing. Sometimes I let my low self esteem creep back in and I begin to think about what "others" think about me when and if they see me running. I try not to let it bother me and it doesn't most of the time. But when it does, it makes it hard for me to get out the door sometimes. I don't look like the typical runner. I am still overweight and have 50 pounds to lose but I love the way running makes me feel and just because I don't "look" like a typical runner, I still have every right to be out there.

No one has ever said anything to me about being an "overweight" runner and I have no reason to think anyone would, but I let those little voices in my head try to keep me on the couch. Have you ever heard, "I"m my own worst enemy" - well that is me sometimes. I'm not going to do that anymore. I have only gotten great encouragement from others !! It's time I stop listening to those voices in my head that try to keep me down.
So this morning me and my Lillie (dog) went for a 2 mile run and we had a great time!!! I have missed my running. I made a pack with my son that he and I would get back at it and start running again so we could participate in some races together. That should be a great motivator in inself! One of my favorite races was the Half Marathon my son and I ran together. He stayed with me step for step although he is much faster. He could have left me but he stayed by my side the whole 13.1 miles. I will always treasure that race. It was a tough one, in June and I am not sure I could have finished without him by my side. It was so freaking hot!!!! But we did it and that medal means more to me that anyone will ever know.

I wish I could get my daughter back out there as well. But she works so much most of the time. My PR for a 5K was one that I ran with my daughter. Once again I was encouraged by my child. She too, ran along beside me and when I was at my lowest point and thinking I would have to stop, she encouraged me. I have never had a 5K that fast since and I know it was because of her.

What fun my children and I have together!! There will always be precious memories of my children but I never once could imagine that they would include running! God really has a sense of humor. If he had said, Betty, when you are in your 50's you will be running road races wtih your children. Ha! That would have made for a great laugh but I am...doing just that!!!

God is good.

Take care my friends and remember to make precious memories with your family. One day that may be all you have. :)

Dedicated to my mother who passed away December 18, 2010. I miss you mom! And thanks for the memories.

A New Year = A New Start


I have finally.....finally.....finall

y realized that I am a compulsive overeater and cannot manage without the help of my Higher Power! Wow! What a concept! I knew it all along but was not "totally" convinced I suppose. I would try to have "just one" and that always lead to a relapse of some sort. I have to look at this process the same way I am able to stay sober day at at time.

I have been sober for 20+ years and I am sure if I apply what I have learned to my compulsive eating I will succeed. I guess I just have not been ready to make that commitment. But this year I am! I am tired of doing the yo-yoing back and forth. Yea - I have lost 40 pounds but that was almost six years ago and yes I have kept it off but I still have a lot more to go. I can't look at that 40 pounds as being successful today! That is in the past and I starting fresh TODAY. With the weight I am TODAY!

I have been eating everything and anything I wanted over the past month and have gained 10+ pounds. So, once again, I see how easy it comes back on. And I see how just one bite can move me in the wrong direction.

How many times have I said this?

How many times have I written about this?

Probably a few hundred or so. But I won't give up. I will keep on keeping on until I get it done. They say in AA "don't stop coming back before the miracle happens" and I won't stop doing this thing until I get the healthy body I want! My miracle is coming and it may be just around the corner. With the help of my Higher Power, my friends in OA, my Sparkpeople friends and the many positive actions I am going to take, I will get there. I feel it in my bones. This time is THE TIME. The time I get it right, the time I make it work, the time I give control over to my Higher Power and allow him to lead me into freedom from compulsive overeating.

Will it be easy? NO!

Will it be worth it? DEFINITELY!!!

Take care my friends.

Race Results for Half Marathon 12/03/11

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I completed my fourth half marathon. Yippee!!

My time was not as good as last year though. But my training has not been as agressive either. I am disappointed that I have not lost any weight by running and am beginning to realize that I need to focus on my eating habits.....which are way out of control!!! I can't rely solely on exercise. I must learn to eat in a healthy way.

After the HM I decided to take a break from all exercise. I have exercised only once since that HM. AND......THIS IS NO SURPRISE...I HAVE GAINED 10 POUNDS....

So I am planning to get back on track, one more time!!!! I have been attending OA meetings but we only have 1 a week and I really need more than that. I may look into some online meetings.

I am going to update my weight tracker and start from scratch. ~ sigh ~

St. Jude Half Marathon Dec 3rd, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

This will be short and sweet. I have been missing in action as far as spark People is concerned. But I am BACK! I have really got to get back on track. During my last 12 mile training run I realized how out of shape I really am!

My half marathon is tomorrow in Memphis and I feel ready. After this race is over I am going to regroup and see where I am and what I need to do. I desperately need to lose some more weight. I have recently gained almost 10 pounds. That's what happens when you decide you can do this thing alone and don't count calories, don't exercise as much, etc. etc. I find it so easy to slip back into my old behavior.....anyone else have that problem????

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season and I will post again with the results of my race.

Have a wonderful day friends!


To run or not to run...that is the question!


I have a 5K coming up in two weeks. Gonna be fun! I don't feel I'm in as good a shape as I used to be considering I am not running as much as I used too. It was really more fun when I had someone to run with. I am more motivated when I know someone is waiting on me to meet them. I keep saying I am going to get up and out the door whether I have anyone to run with or not and I do that - but not very often. I believe I would run every day if I had someone who wanted to do it as much as I do. All my running buddies have decided not to run for various reasons. On my 4 miles last Saturday which turned out to be a 5 miler (yeah)!! I ran alone because all the others were so much faster than me. But that's okay. At least I did it.

But I don't relish running 11 miles this Sat by myself.....booooo hooooo. But I guess I will do it. The half marathon is getting closer and closer. I missed my 9 mile long run and did not make it up so I can't miss any more.

I am really contemplating not doing any more half marathons after the St. Jude in December until I REALLY lose more weight. I would be a little faster if I lost more weight and would have a better chance of finding someone to run with.

I haven't really decided what I am going to do about my running, other than I know I won't stop running altogether. I do enjoy it and I know it's good for me.

I hope everyone has a great night!


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I am sitting at my son and DIL's house enjoying their company and enjoying my grandson who is 2 weeks old. He is so precious! I am so grateful for so many things in my life. God has blessed me greatly and I don't deserve any of it! Thank you God!! I am also sitting here thinking about my running, the half marathon coming up in Dec. and the weight I have not lost. I am trying to get okay with myself. I find myself thinking about food all the time. I wish I wasn't so obsessed with it. Every time I run I think about how much easier it would be if I would lose a little more weight. I am still 60 pounds overweight. I promise myself I will lose the weight and that resolve lasts only until I see the next cookie or cake or hamburger ect. I can't seem to get motivated. You would think the running would motivate me but it doesn't. Sometimes at the exact moment I am running it motivates me but there again, the motivation is short lived. I don't really have a lot to complain about though. As I said at the beginning of this blog I have been truly blessed. I will continue to enjoy my family and continue to work on my weight. I will continue to run because I do enjoy it so much and I do want to run St. Jude since I am signed up and raising money for the kids too. It will be my 3rd time to run it and my fourth HM. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I have ran 13.1 miles but I have the medals to prove it! Considering everything, my life is great today. I hope everyone reading this has an awesome night!!


********* COPIED FROM OTHER BLOG ********

Monday, September 26, 2011

Nothing special today. I did get in a 2 mile walk after work with Lillie. I had my 8 mile training run this past Sat and it went well. Nothing like my last 10K. I really think I let my pride get the best of me and started out way to fast in that race. I really contemplated giving up running after that race.....but.....after this awesome 8 mile run I don't think I'lll give it up. Everyone has bad days, bad races and so forth. And I have the kids at St Jude to think about. I am raising money this year. I had not done that before. I don't know that I can raise much but any little bit will help. Check out my ST Jude Fund raising page here:

I hope you all are enjoying your runs!

See you on the road,