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Thursday, December 17, 2009

God Is Good - All The Time! (April 4, 2009)

No power on earth or hell can conquer the Spirit of God living within the human spirit; it creates an inner invincibility. ~ Oswald Chambers What an awesome devotional to read today. It is 5:09 am and I am drinking coffee and seriously thinking "have I lost my mind!" No, but seriously, when I think back to where I was several years ago, I can only praise God for what I am today. I am no longer burdened down with addiction and all the heartache that comes with it. My life today is filled with peace and joy. For so many years I longed to have peace. My life was in such turmoil. I am proud of who I am today. And as I sit here and wonder, "will I finish this race?" and "will I make a good showing or a fool of myself?" God gives me this devotional to read. I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. He is my source of life today. Without Him I would not be sitting here today. And I hope I never forget that. I just have to remember to take it one day at a time. I know I can do this.....but my old character defects are trying to talk me out of it but I am not going to cave today. I am a new creation and I can just brush those negative thoughts off of me today like melting butter. I have so much to be thankful for today. And if I never run again (which I will), I will always have the joy of this first race; even the butterflies in my stomach. Because it means I am alive, I can feel things that I couldn't before because alcohol and drugs took my inner peace and left me an empty shell. But Satan didn't win that battle. And he won't win this one today; that voice in my head that is trying to tell me to go back to bed and hand up my hat (or running shoes). Today I have an inner invincibility that I know comes from God along with a wonderful husband who has decided to go WITH me. (see post below). I can do this. When I run and I feel I am getting tired, my mantra is "come on baby! You can do this!" I say that over and over and it gives me strength. In the past there was no way I would ever set foot outside and attempt to run let alone run in public and in a race! Today I am not that same person I was so long ago who had allowed the inner demons to take over my life. Today I am free. And I guess that is what I feel when I am running. Free! Free to be me, free from what other people think about me, free from negative behavior and thoughts (although they try sometimes to creep back in) and free to take chances and risks like I never would before. I am reminded of something I read here that went something like this - I may never win a race or be a super fast runner or anything so spectacular but it beats sitting on the couch. I am up and moving and doing something! I am no longer a slave to my emotions or the negative thoughts in my head. And guess what? I feel pretty darn good right now. I feel confident. I can and will do this. I told a friend who had wished me "good luck" that I was not planning on winning but I was planning on finishing and she said, "well that's all that matters." How cool is that? God is good ~ all the time. MAKE it a great day!

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