Pleased to announce - I ran today!

I am pleased to announce - I ran today!  Woohoo!  It has been about 6 weeks.  I was off work today and I make my mind up last night that I was going to run this morning. I laid out my clothes. I tried to go to bed early but did not make it.  So I told myself, get up early anyway. After your run, if you need to go back to bed, you can.  The alarm went off at 6 and I was out the door around 7 am.  But of course I had the usual morning fight with myself.  I battled around for a few minutes, yes I'm going, no I'm not, yes I'm going - I am sure sure of you know the drill.  I hit the snooze a few times but I finally made myself get up.  I keep telling myself that I would just take it easy. There was no reason to rush.  After all, this was MY run.

Yesterday in my blog I was poor-mouthing about not having anyone to run with.  Well, I decided to ask my friend, Lillie, if she wanted to go and she jumped for joy at the chance.  All I had to say was "let's go bye-bye" and she was at the door waiting to go outside.  Her is a picture of her after we finished our run and she was tired. She hates cameras so I was lucky to get this picture. She usually runs when she sees me pointing my cell phone at her.  I don't take her often because I have to run slower when she is with me but today we made a great pair!  I hope she didn't hear me complaining about having no one to run with.  That might hurt her feelings! lol

I felt great during the run and afterwards and no - I did not have to go back to bed.  I stayed up and made the most of my day.  We have a group run tomorrow morning so I plan to make that as well.  I will probably have to run by myself because no one else is as slow as me. But that's OK.  As long as there are other runners in the vicinity I feel comfortable.  I thought maybe my Garmin wouldn't know how to act after being on the shelf for so long but she cooperated just fine as you can tell from the pic below.

But tonight, I think I will go to bed early. After all, every girl needs her beauty sleep!!

I am feeling better about my weight today and I am looking forward to seeing a loss when I weigh on Monday.  I bypassed the pizza I usually eat on Thursday night and I did not touch one donut that was in our kitchen at work!  Major accomplishment for me!  The more positive choices I make, the better I feel about the whole thing.  I have been talking some with Sean Anderson on Facebook and he is very encouraging and motivating.  It is a joy to have the encouragement of others along this journey.  I don't think I could do it by myself.  If you have not read his blog, just click on his name and it will take you there.  I started reading on day 1 and am up to about day 135.   It's a great read and he is also coming out with a book about his journey from 500 lbs to 230 lbs and I can't wait to read it.

I am going to turn in now because I am a bit tired.  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I will post my weigh-in on Monday, good or bad.

Thanks for reading,
Betty

Just do it and git er done!

I watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition tonight.  This episode really got me motivated.  I began to realize that I have been making excuses about not having time for exercise  but that is all it is - excuses.  This man on this episode, James, lost 300 pounds in a year.  Now, I'm not trying to lose 300 pounds and I don't need to lose it fast but - I do need to lose some. This gaining and losing the same 5-10 pounds is not getting me anywhere.   Yes, I have blogged about this before so I won't got into great detail about it again.  Just suffice to say that I really want THIS TIME to be it!

I have done well keeping off the 40 more or less pounds I have lost but I still have 50 more to go.  I am not making any headway at this rate.  I have been keeping up with my weight loss almost on a daily basis since 2005.  Here is the rundown:

2005 - lost 22 pounds
2006 - lost 16 pounds
2007 - lost 12.5 pounds
2008 - lost 6 pounds
2009 - lost 2 pounds
2010 - lost 23.8
2011 - lost 4. 9 so far

But I have gained some of that back by doing all this yo-yoing back and forth.  I know that this is a lifestyle change and I know I can do it but I am choosing not too on most days.  Why do I self sabotage my progress?  I won't go into all the psychobabble about that but I will say that I am re-committing myself to this plan.  I know what to do, I just need to do it.  In fact - I am going to go to bed earlier than usual so I can get up and run in the morning. Will be my first run in about 6 weeks!  well, outside anyway. I have been on the treadmill one time.  I have everything I need all laid out, I am off work tomorrow so I have no excuse.  To heck with what people think about me running.  If that 400 pound man can get out there and run, this 200 pound woman can too!  Besides, all that mumbo jumbo about caring what others think of me while I am running is just that - mumbo jumbo!  It's all in my head anyway.  I am not that important, that anyone would pause to give me a second look, much less a thought, when they see me running anyway.  They barely look my way twice.

When James, the man in the weight loss show, got back home, his entertainment center was gone - no tv and no video games.  They were replaced by exercise equipment.  It was then that I realized how much precious time I spend in front of the tv watching things I recorded earlier when I could be exercising.  I was thinking, I stay up too late to get up early to exercise. Why??  Because I am sitting on my duff watching tv.  duh!!!  This has to stop.  I have begun to ask myself - will this help or hinder my weight loss?"  That is how I will make my decisions from now on.  I am a  medical transcriptionist and I type all day long at my job and then type for my second job when I get home.  If I could lose weight by exercising my fingers I would be plum skinny!!!  But all that sitting down is not good for me.  So the more I can move at home the better it will be.

I have a quote in front of me right now and it says, "Every food choice we make either moves us closer to, or away from, our weight loss goals."  How true is that!!!  That should be my mantra.  Ok, now maybe I'm rambling.

I don't know much, but one thing I do know - quitters never win!  So I will continue on this journey every day until I get it done.  It might take me a while, but I will git er done!!!

Thanks for reading friends and have a great night.  I am going to git er done!! How about you?
Betty

Day 26 - Where has my "mojo" gone and negative self talk.

Today is day 26 on my healthy eating program.  I started out strong. But I seem to have fallen back into the old "lose 1, gain 2" scenario.  I don't understand why I can do so well for a few days and then mess up. I think it all started with the pizza last Thursday.  I have been trying to NOT eat friend foods because they don't like me and I like them TOO MUCH!  I justified the pizza by saying that I had included two pieces in my calorie count so it was okay.  But I didn't stop at two pieces,which I  never do when I eat pizza. (Duh!! Anyone know the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.)  That should be my mantra because that is what I do!  Oh well, I will stop complaining, pick myself and start over.  I did not actually fall, so to speak.  I did not revert back to my compulsive way of eating.  I did eat over my calorie amount and that I am not proud of.  You can't lose weight by doing that.  AND.... I have not been exercising at all!  I have got to get back into the  swing of things.  I always feel so much better when I exercise.  I decided tonight that I would do anything, something so I walked a mile with my dog, Lillie.  And I enjoyed it.  I seem to have the "all or nothing" mid set. I think if I can't do my usual 3 mile run, I won't do anything.  But tonight I did a 1 mile WALK and I felt great.  

I have a 5K coming up on July 4th.  I signed up to run but I might walk it since I have not been running much lately.  I am saddened by the fact that I have no one to run with.  I really hate to run by myself and I guess that is why I have not been out there lately.  I feel too self conscious out there by myself.  I had gotten over that but I have begun to let little negative thoughts creep back in like, "people will laugh when they see me running"  etc.  I know some of you may think this is crazy since I have completed numerous 5Ks, 10Ks and three half marathons but I still let the old me slip back in sometimes.  I know that I am no where near skinny and I still have 50+ pounds to lose. 

You know what's funny????  As I sit here writing this - I am telling myself, "so what??"  " who cares what others think?"  "Just get out there and do it!"  At least you are doing something and not sitting on the couch stuffing my face like I used too. It they talk about me, it's because they are probably jealous. And I won't know if they talk about me anyway...how many time has someone yelled something not nice at me while I was running???? NEVER. NOT ONCE!  So all of this is just in my mind.  

I heard once that "my own worst enemy is me!"  Maybe that is true.  If so, I know what to do about that!  

Here's to getting off my duff and getting my running mojo back!  

Have a great night friends!

Betty

Day 19 and 20 - Sad and tried to find comfort in food.

The pic above is my beloved Samantha (Sam as we called her).  She was my dad's dog, then my mom's dog and finally she came to live with me when she mom died this past December.  She was 17 years old and she died yesterday.  She had been sick and I knew she would not be with us much longer but it was still a shock and I am heartbroken.  Needless to say I have tried to find comfort in food but have not.  And I knew I wouldn't find it in the food but I still ate things that I wish I hadn't....all the while telling myself that it would not help.  Only time will heal this wound.  My beautiful Sam was the last thing I had left of my mom and I knew it would be painful when she died.  But she did live a wonderful fun-filled and exciting life and was happy, I believe, till the day she died.  The night before she was jumping up and down and bouncing all around like a young puppy. I don't know what had gotten into her. I figure she knew she was going to see her "mom and dad" the next day and she was excited about it. ( I would like to think that anyway)! 

But I am happy to say that the past two days have been ok.  Not great but ok.  I am still conscious of my eating plan and trying my best to stick to it. Sometimes I want the weight loss to be much more and much faster but I know that is not the way to go about it.  I have always gained it back when I went on the crash diets and ate low calories.  If I do it the RIGHT way, maybe it will stick this time around!  I am determined to show a loss this week! 

Make it a great day friends!
Betty

I refuse to give up on me!

Just as I feared... I gained this past week. but only .8 of a pound.  Could have been worse.  I vow to do better this week.  Today has been good. I knew I was eating out tonight so I planned accordingly.  The only thing I didn't count on was the birthday cake.  And I was going to a birthday party!!! duh!!!

But I had saved enough calories in case I wanted dessert so all is well.  I still have not exercised.  Here it is almost 11 p.m. and I just finished my second job.  I am so tired and I need to go to bed.  Exercise will have to wait till tomorrow...again....

It sucks to be me...no... just kidding!!!  I really have a awesome life.  And this weight thing will one day be a thing of the past, because I refuse to give up on me!

 

Have a great night friends!
Betty

Day 17 - Day 21 I would love to lie.

I cant believe it has been 5 days since I last posted! I would love to lie & tell you I am still doing great but the truth is . . . I am not doing as well as I could. I won't be surprised if I show a weight GAIN. I did not exercise at all last week. My new job's crazy hours and the fact that I am now working 2 jobs has really messed me up. But any excuse is as good as the next one, right? :(

I have got to find time to fit in the exercise! And my food intake has not been like it should either.

So there you have it-the truth in all it's glory! But I will pull a scarlet O'Hara and say, after all tomorrow is a new day!

One day at a time I will do this!

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Day 16-over and done. Come on day 17!!

I'm tired...I missed my OA meeting... got home and had 75 xrays to type.  Whoopie!  I'm a tired tired puppy.  Eating has been so-so today.  Ate a few things I wish I hadn't but overall feel good.  Gonna do better tomorrow.

I am bummed because my son found out he has to work on July 4th and we had planned a 5K together for that day!  Not sure if I will do it by myself or not........

MAKE it a healthy day!  I am!
Betty

Day 15

Yea!  I lost 1 pound this week making it a total of 6 pounds so far on this day 15!  Woohoo!  I was a little disappointed at first at the 1 pounds loss but then I realized that I had met my goal, which was to lose 1 pound a week!  So how can I be disappointed with that.  I plan to continue in a downward trend.  It blows my mind that I am eating 1600 to 1800 calories and losing weight.  I used to restrict to 1000 calories OR LESS  a day and could never keep the weight off or even lose much.

I don't have much to say tonight other than I am grateful for my life today.  I am grateful that I CAN exercise and I CAN choose to eat healthy.  Some people don't have that option.  I don't deserve all the blessings I have received from God and yet he continues to bless me each day.  I have a wonderful Godly husband, 2 beautiful children, two beautiful step-daughters who bless me with the presence of their beautiful children and who I can be grandma too.  I have a a few close friends, a lot of loving and caring people in my church family and still a brother and sister to spend time with.   I miss my parents greatly, especially my mother who died suddenly this past December, but I know where they are and I know I will see them again.  That makes the pain a little easier to bear.

I hope all you out there in blog land are doing well and I hope that this blog will encourage you along your journey, whatever that journey may be.

Now, I have to get some beauty rest.  So have a good night my friends and remember to -

MAKE it a healthy day!
Betty

Day 14-not my best day but ok.

I have been out of town all weekend. My eating was good though. I have a feeling I had a few friends praying and/or thinking of me. Thank you!

I have got to get back in the exercise routine asap. I am not real positive about my weigh in tomorrow. But I will accept whatever it is and be happy. I weighed at my daughters house and it showed I stayed the same but two different scales could show two different things. So my weight in the morning is my "real" weight and the one I will record.

I am still amazed that I am not eating compulsively! I almost had a setback at church tonight but stopped myself. I did eat two cookies and I wish I haden't but I was still not over my calorie limit so that is good.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and did well with your plan of eating.

MAKE it a healthy life!
Betty

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Day 13-

Today went well. Am visiting my daughter and enjoying every minute of it. My food has been good. I did go back for a second piece of dessert that my daughter made & I wish I had not done that but I am still within my calorie goal 4 today. We swam today so I am sure I did good on the calorie burn. You can't wear the bodybugg swimming so don't how many calories I burned doing that. I can't swim very well but decided to try a few laps. I could only do 4. That swimming is hard work! No wonder it's a great exercise for burning calories.

My daughter and I were driving to the store today and saw several people running. We thought it was just folks out getting their exercise but realized it was some sort of official race. Found out later it was a triathalon. Cool! That's one thing I could't do till I learned to swim better.

I just signed up for the Watermelon Classic 5k. This will be my third time to do it. My son is doing it with me. Hope it don't kill me. I haven't run much lately. My last run was on the treadmill and I only did 2.5 miles and it felt great!

Since I am sitting here about to fall asleep, I believe I will call it a night.

Day 13 a success! Come on day 14, I can do this!

MAKE it a healthy LIFE,
Betty

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Day 12-progress in the making.

I am sitting outside at my daughters house on her pier as my husband fishes. It is guiet out here until the black lab decides to take a swim!

Today is day 12. I had my doubts about this weekend because we are out of town and that usually makes for a free-for-all where food is concerned. But I texted a few friends and got back wonderful encoueagement! Thank you friends! We went to McDonalds and I got nothing. It was a McDonalds inside walmart so while hubby ate I shopped for some healthy things. I did not eat there at all. Didnt even want to! Then we went to Stone Cold Creamy and I did not get anything there either. It crossed my mind briefly but I did not linger on the thought. I had my mind made up before I went in. So far so good. But we still have 2 days to go but I really have confidence that I can do this. Well, let me rephrase that-me AND God AND my friends. I could never do this alone. When I think about "sneaking" something I remember that I am accountable to all my friends that read this. I am working an honest program and would have to let you know when I messed up. I want to do this thing. I really want it this time, but I want all of you who want it, to have it also so I will do my best to lead by example.

Day 12 a success!

MAKE it a healthy day! Remember - if I can do it - YOU CAN!

Betty

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The 10% Solution

The 10% Solution

Day 11 - No pizza for me, thanks!

I am still going strong.  Woohoo!!

I had an important decision to make.  At a recovery meeting I go to EVERY Thursday night, we ALWAYS have pizza.  I wanted that pizza - I like love pizza - I crave pizza - I could eat it 24/7 but.....pizza doesn't love me. It is one of those foods that I can't get enough of so I don't need to eat it.  I have worked out my calories so I could eat just ONE piece but got to thinking, "do I really want to start that again"?  Once I eat that piece I will want another one and another one so it's better to not have the first one.  I felt a "relapse" in the making so I changed my plans.  I ate BEFORE I went to the meeting, got there after most of the eating was over and ate exactly what I had planned to, it was movie night and we were having popcorn and candy.  So I had the 100 calorie kettle corn popcorn and one, yes just one, Hershey chocolate candy bar.  I am so proud of myself.

I am slowly learning that I CAN do this - one day at a time. It just takes planning, commitment, willingness, and the help of my accountability partners.  Wow!  I can't believe that I have actually gone 11 days without eating compulsively, without bingeing, without eating fried foods! 

And to all of my bloggy friends out there...you can do it too!  Never give up!!

(and NO, this is not a picture of me...lol!)

MAKE it a great food day tomorrow,
Betty

Day 10 - Got the running part down, now I need to work on my food issues.

Day 10 is almost over and I have had another successful day.  No cravings at all.  I did get real hungry at dinner because I did not have my usual snack at 3 pm but I was not really hungry.  I think I must be getting used to eating smaller amounts.  I do eat a lot of protein and I think that helps keep me full most of the day.  Speaking of that, I think I will eat a boiled egg for my nighttime snack.

Running on the treadmill last night was awesome!  I really wanted to do  it again tonight but I had decided a while back that until I lost some more weight I was not going to run as much as I used to.  I keep getting these mysterious little injuries or aches and pains so I decided that I would adhere to Galloway's training plan which is only two days of running for at least 30 minutes.  I still have 50 pounds to lose and I don't want to injure myself beyond repair!  After 3 half marathons, numerous 10K and 5Ks, I believe I have the running part down pat!  Now, I need to focus on the eating part.

I never really changed my eating while I was running so no wonder I didn't lose weight.  I can see how I could easily eat more calories than I was burning.  I bet if I totaled up a days worth of what I used to eat, it would be over 3,000 calories and some days I bet it was more than that!  But no more people!!!  I refuse to let food have control over me.  This is my life and I choose to live it HEALTHY for a change!

How about you?

Stats:
Calories Out 2953
Calories In 1651
Deficit: 1302

I hesitate to report these stats from bodybugg because the calories burned sound outrageous because today all I did was sit and type most of the day.  But that is what it says.  I know that once I get smaller that number will go down.  I am probably burning so much because I am so overweight.  Any bodybuggers out there and if so what do you think?

Day 9 - Fast food cravings.

Day 9 is ending and is has been another good day.  I ate healthy and I exercised tonight at the gym by running on the treadmill for 2.5 miles.  I had not done that in a while.  It felt GREAT!!!  I have missed my running.  According to my Bodybugg I burned 475 calories during that 2.5 mile run.  Awesome!

I realized tonight at my OA meeting that I have lied to you people!  Aren't 12 step meetings great for keeping us honest??? ha ha. But really - I said that my plan of eating was to eat anything I wanted within moderation but that is NOT true.  I have not been eating any FRIED foods.  I have come to believe that once I start eating them, I want them all the time so I have decided not to eat any.  I have not missed them yet-so far so good.  They always made me feel bad anyway and I know from my experience with alcohol and drugs that once I put something in me that I like way to much, I will crave that something over and over.  If I go to a fast food place for breakfast, I am more likely to go to one at lunch and dinner.  It always happens like that.  Once I start eating that junk, I can't seem to stop until I find myself sitting somewhere, with my stomach so full I can hardly move, wishing I could just throw up, mad at myself and so swollen the next morning and asking myself ONE MORE TIME, why? why did you do this yet again????  With alcohol if I never put that first drink  in my body, I won't crave the second one and the third one and so on.  I feel it is the same with fried foods for me.  And I guess I don't want any right now because I have gone without for 9 days. Seems like the craving has gone and I don't want it back anytime soon!!!

I am finding it hard to fit in my exercise since I am working two jobs but I am making the best of it.  I did not have to work my second job tonight so I was able to make it to the gym.  I grateful for that.

Well kiddos, it's getting late and I really need my  beauty rest, so I'm signing off for the night.

MAKE it a healthy day tomorrow,
Betty

Day 8 - Great memorial day and I lost almost 5 pounds!

Today was my day to weigh.  I promise you-I dreamed about weighing all last night. I dreamed my scale was broke, the battery was down, it kept giving me weird numbers, etc....I guess I was just so excited about the weigh in.

Last Monday was 204.9.
Today was 200.0.
How awesome is that??

I just hope I can keep this up - but I know I can one day at a time.  I am sitting here right now and I feel hungry but there is no way I could be.  It is only 8 pm and I ate a grilled burger with bun, a few chips and watermelon around 5 pm so I shouldn't be this hungry.  ????  Oh well,  I still haven't had my late night snack that I sometimes and sometimes don't have.  

Last night my husband jumped up and said he would be right back.  Me - "Where you going?"  Him - "to get me some cookies"  My brain said "DAMN! Here we go again"  but my next thought was, just because he brings cookies home does NOT mean I have to eat any.  Wow!  What a thought.  I never saw them while he was eating them.  He had the box down beside his chair so that was good. Then cleaning up this morning I found the box with about 7 cookies left.  First thought - "Eat them!"  Second thought - "you don't have to eat these. Put them in the cabinet" and I did.  Now they are still in the cabinet and I am about to go get them so he can finish off the box.  At first I felt "deprived" because I could eat any but then I realized that I could if I wanted to but I really did not want to.    :)

My husband called from work today around 2 pm wanting to know if I wanted to go to the park and cook out with him and few friends at 3 pm.  He never plans anything.  It is always spur of the moment for him.  I said yes I would go but all I could think about was oh my, what am I going to eat.  So I took along some healthy foods for me but did not even have to eat them. He grilled the burgers and I had a few chips and he had brought a watermelon.  Perfect!  So we had fun and I stayed within my calorie range.  I also got a chance to walk a little over a mile while he was cooking.  So it all worked out great.  Fun time, good food, and good company!

My plan has been that I can have anything I want within moderation.  But I also think about the amount of calories in something and have to decide if I want to "spend" that many calories on such a small item like a cookie.  Most times I decide not to.  And I have to remember that you, the people who may read this, will hold me accountable (I hope you will) if I go over my calorie limit.  It was like I would be letting you down if I messed up today.  And I didn't want to do that.  So THANK YOU whoever reads this - you have kept me accountable today.
How did everyone else do on this holiday?

MAKE it a healthy day,
Betty

Day 7 - Biggest Loser Workout and the running blues

Day 7

Stats

Calories Out  2664
Calories In  1719
Calorie Deficit 945
Steps 8968

Today was great.  I felt a bit more tempted today and had to do a lot of "mental" work to keep from messing up!  But I did it.

I passed on the usual fast food breakfast that is brought to Sunday School.  Yippee!

I ate my usual snack at 10:00, a good lunch at noon, snack at 3 and dinner around 6:00.  Didn't eat out today.  In checking my calorie burn this evening I still had almost 500 calories left to get to my goal so I got out Biggest Loser workout DVDs i had just gotten.  Did a 2 mile walk for 30 minutes and a 25 minute Cardio Max Weight-Loss workout.  I am really out of shape!!

It is weird that my calorie burn was so much higher yesterday considering I did not exercise at all.  You would think the burn would be more today.  My steps were more today of course.  But at any rate, if I have lost weight tomorrow when I weigh I won't worry about it.

ha ha.. I just check my bodybugg again and I burned 14 calories while writing this blog.    By the time I go to bed my calorie burn for today will be more I am sure.   Maybe I should load my stats in the morning that way I will get the whole day's worth on there.  Because I know I will keep burning calories after I type this and until I go to bed, and a few while sleeping .

As I am sitting here writing this, my stomach is starting to growl!?!?  How in the world could I be hungry.  I might need to eat something else.  I have room to do so with a 900 calorie deficit.

I may start updating in the morning time to get a more accurate account.  :)

I really need to get back out there with my running.  I have not run since the first week of May!  I have promised to run a 5K with my son on July 4th and it will be tough and hot, especially if I don't start running some!  I am not really motivated to run but I know how great it makes me feel.  When we went out to eat last night we went to a restaurant that is on one of our most traveled running routes and as i looked at the road I realized....I miss my running.  I really do.  I have got to get back out there.  It's hard starting but I feel so good after a few miles of running. I  guess I need to learn to enjoy running by myself since I have no one to run with.  I will just have to suck it up and get out there!!  But if I think about HOW GOOD it makes me feel afterwards, that will make it easier to get out there.

I thought about getting a bigger dog to have someone to run with but after bathing one small dog and one medium dog today....I don't think I can handle a big dog!!

Am I  nervous about my weight in tomorrow??
No, of course not!!

I hope I have something good to report.  If not, I will report anyway, because that's the kind of girl I am.  Lying or not letting you guys know how I am really doing won't help me at all.  I plan to report the good, the bad, and the ugly.  So get ready people!

Until tomorrow,
MAKE it a great day!
Betty

Day 6 = Good choices.

Day 6 is down. Didn't do as good as I wanted. Felt like my calorie count was too high but I still feel like I met my 500 deficit. Havent uploaded my info from bodybugg yet so dont have stats. Had family social event but I did great! No mindless eating & no grazing. Ate just enough & stopped. Normally I would have stuffed myself but I thought about every bite and I did really well.

We ate out for dinner. Couldnt talk hubby into going to Subway again but still made great choices-grilled chicken breast & steamed vegetables and NO dessert!

I am loving how I am feeling! I feel light on my feet, my back doesnt hurt as much, and my stomach isnt acting up & thats just from one week of eating right. Imagine how I will feel after a month!

I am even looking forward to running again if my knee doesnt bother me. My son and I have a 5K scheduled for July 4th. And marathon training is coming up as well. So things are going great! Week one almost down and I really feel like I will show a loss when I weigh in.

How are all my friends out there doing? Let me hear from you. If I be of help to you, let me know. Don't ever give up. You can do this! If you have to start over a hundred times, then do it-don't ever quit! You were meant to have a healthy body and no one is standing in your way but you!

Hope you all have a fantastic holiday.

MAKEing it a healthy day,
Betty

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Day 5 is in the bag, and not the fast food bag either.

I am sitting here reflecting back on my day and thinking about how good this whole week has been.  I feel so much better from NOT eating all that fried fast food.  I went into the kitchen at work to make the coffee and check to see if it needing cleaning and what did appear before my eyes?????  Only a box of the BEST donuts and donut holes in the world!!  I walked right past them and got my crystal light drink and made a bee-line back to my desk!  Yesterday it was HUGE blueberry muffins and scones but I have been able to refrain from all of them.  What is wrong with me??  ha ha.  Whatever it is,  I hope it lasts.  I am eating my final food of the day, a Jello fruit cup and fat free cool whip and it only has 30 calories total.  Cool!!

My husband asked if I wanted to go out and eat and I thought, oh no! Can I do this?  I am not sure I can eat out and make healthy choices.  I hope to be able to one day soon!  I even passed on eating at Doe's (an awesome world famous steak house we have here) the other night.   But he asked me where I wanted to go and I said Subway and for once he did not make a face. How sweet is that!  I got the orchard chicken salad 6 inch with 9 grain wheat.  It was as good as it looks too!  I had been eyeballing it for a while so I finally decided to get it.  Of course I looked up the calories before I went just to make sure it wasn't horribly bad.  Now the sodium...that's another story.  But right now I am focusing on calories.

Day 5 is in the bag, no, not the fast food bag either, (he he) and I'm still hanging in there.  And it feels GOOD!  I even went and bought an outfit today and I hate doing that because I hate trying clothes on.  But I was able to get an 18 pants and XL shirt.  I remember when I wore size 22 pants and 1-2X shirt!  A few more pounds and I will be able to get in a 16 in some things.

I am going to weigh on Mondays and will report it here for all the world to see - talking about having someone to hold me accountable!!!  That's a lot of someones isn't it?  But I am dead serious this time and I want all the help I can get.  So if you read this and want to comment, please do so.  I would love to hear from you and if you have any tips for me I would love that too!

I believe this journey is going to be fun and you are welcome to travel along with me, comment me, offer me advice and tips, pray for me, whatever you have that you would like to share with this 54 year old,  soon-to-be, FORMER OVERWEIGHT person.  Yes, I can say FORMER because I mean business this time friends.  Won't you join me?  We can help each other along the wonderful journey to a healthy weight.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Almost forget my stats:
Calories Out 2,378 (this calorie burn is blowing my mind!)
Calories In 1,372
Calorie Deficit -1,006.

I am trying to keep a 500 calorie deficit per day but if I get more, that is great.  I am not going to run into the kitchen and eat something when I am not hungry just to bring my deficit down to 500.  :)

MAKE it a great day,
Betty

Day 4.

Wow!  Day 4 of abstinence has been awesome.  It's like God has removed my obsession for the kinds of food I don't need.  I simply don't want them anymore.  I hope this feeling lasts ...and lasts....and lasts....like... for my whole lifetime!!  Woohoo!!   This is how I feel today!!!

Today started out kind of slippery because we had a major storm and our electricity was out at work.  My "mind" went to thinking and my first thought was, I can eat, but it wasn't time for my 10 am snack yet.  So I told myself, I said, "self, you do not need to eat right now.  Wait for your scheduled time, stick to your eating plan, you can do it!"  And it worked!  I have not overeaten today and I have not eating anything that I should not have.  

I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting, which is a 12-step meeting for any and all kinds of addictions, hurts, habits and hangups, and when they were finished giving out chips, I though, I should have gotten a 24 hour chip for starting over so when the lesson was finished I asked for one and told everyone I was a compulsive overeater.  It feels good to acknowledge out loud what I struggle with.  Once I name it and claim it, I can do something about it.  And I plan to do just that.  One Day At A Time!

I am loving this bodybugg but sometimes I find it hard to believe the calories I am burning. Today I did not exercise.  I only did my usual things with maybe a bit more walking.  And my bodybugg says I burned 2,759 calories.  I must have been eating a lot to be gaining weight while burning that many calories.  But we will see if I lose weight.  I bet you I was eating 3,000 calories a day or more!!!

I am trying for at least a 500 calorie deficit each day so I should lose a pound a week.  I would love to lose it fast like the ones on my favorite show, The Biggest Loser,  but that is not possible and I know that.  Slow and steady will get me where I need and want to be.  And if have a little step back I will counteract that with 2 steps forward.

Today, I really believe I am going to do this.  And I pray this will be the last time!  I really feel I am ready and willing to do that it takes and as my husband says all the time, "time will tell".

At our Celebrate Recovery meeting we have pizza every Thursday night.  I have such as hard time not eating any of that.  But I made a plan to go to  Subway today
and eat healthy.  As I was checking out, I was eyeballing the cookies and looking for my favorite one.  I finally found it!  And I had a mental fight going on inside my head.  "I can eat just one cookie.  I have enough calories left, I can eat one. Ok, order one.  No!  Wait!  Do I really want to spend 350 calories on just ONE SINGLE COOKIE???  Heck NO!!"  So I did not order that cookie.  Did you hear me people???  I did NOT order that cookie.  A MAJOR victory for me.  It may sound small to some of you but it is a MAJOR victory for me.  I was pound of myself so I shared that little story with all my friends on facebook and my recovery friends and especially my friends at OA.  I want everyone to know  that they can do it too!  It is possible...it really is.  You just have to want it bad enough.  Today, I want it and I want it bad!  So here's to another day of abstinence!

Thank you Sean Anderson for your blog.  It has really inspired me!  If you can do it.....I can do it!!  Until tomorrow.....

MAKE it a great day my friends,
Betty

Day 3 a success. Blog short and sweet

Sorry so short but already in bed & remembered I had not blogged yet. Today went well. Ate within calorie range. Had 500 + deficit.

Had some bad weather & had to turn off computer. Its hard blogging with my phone. Supposedly 2 tornados here. Heard there might be some damage. Will find out in the morning. I pray no one got hurt!

See you tomorrow friends.

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Motivation abounds . . . fear is gone!

Day 2 and I have been abstinent!  Woohoo!!

I had a few temptations but I did not give in.  Walked into kitchen at work and ran smack dab into a cake!  But I did not once look at that cake with lust in my eyes.  I looked at it just to see how many calories a piece had and it was 350.  I thought of what I had read lately from Sean's blog and I decided I did not want to waste that many calories on a single piece of cake.  Major victory for me!!

I had several small cravings throughout the day but I did not give it. I had to tell myself that I would not die from this - yes, I really had to tell myself that!! lol

I am learning a lot and I have great motivation ...but I have been here before.  I want to STAY here this time.  For some reason I feel like I have a better mentality about it all this week.   I feel like I did when I first got into recovery from drugs and alcohol and God removed my obsession to use them.  I feel like my compulsion to overeat has been removed.  And maybe it depends on what I do next as to whether it will come back or not.  I have to make healthy choices.   I have to remember that I CAN DO THIS, one day at a time.  I don't have to give in to the cravings that I might have and I really won't die - really!

I had to make a short video for my church about small groups and I was really nervous about being in front of a camera.  But I did not eat over it.  I went at lunch time and any other day I would have gone by a fast foot joint just to relieve my fear.  I am learning that I must walk through my fear in order to get over it.  And that ain't easy sometimes my friends, but it is possible.  I have walked through many fears in the past 20 years.  You may have heard me say before that my life was ruled by fear when I was growing up.  No more - I won't let it rule my life anymore.  I have too much to live for.  I have been rescued from so many things and lived through a lot of unhappy times but I never gave up.  Yes, there were times when I wanted to for sure - but I didn't.  It's the same way with my weight loss.  I won't give up.  I will keep at this until I am done.

....until I am at a healthy weight.

....until I like what I see in the mirror.

It's not about the number on the scale.  It's about how I feel.  My desire today is to be healthy and if "looking good" comes with that process then that is great!  I have 2 grandchildren and a new grandson on the way and I want to be able to run, play, and enjoy them without being out of breath.   I want to do the best I can with my health so maybe I will live a long time and get to spend lots of time with them.

I was not the best mom in the world because of my addiction to alcohol and drugs but I prayed to God that if one day he should bless me with grandchildren, I would be the grandmother possible!!  And I intend to keep that promise.

Now it is time for bed and I feel great that I made it through day 2!

Stats for today:
Calories out 2248
Calories in 1573
Deficit of 675.

So that makes two days in a row of having a 500+ deficit.  If I keep this up, I should show a loss!

I want to my OA meeting tonight and it was great.  I am trying to motivate the other ladies there because I know they want it as bad as I do.  I want them to BELIEVE that they can do this.  Together we can!

Thank you Lord for your blessings in my life.  I certainly don't deserve them!!

Ok, really going to bed.

In the words of my wonderful Mother whom I miss greatly - "MAKE it a great day" my friends,

Betty

Day 1 was good!


Had my usual slimfast/protein powder shake for breakfast. I get the chocolate and add protein powder and it makes me feel full.

Had my usual 10 am snack of 8 crackers and string cheese.
At around 1:30 I ate lunch which was a lean cuisine spaghetti and felt full for a change. I had my doubts if that "little" meal would be enough. Must have been the pasta!

But at 2:30 I felt like I could eat someone's head off! Don't know where that came from! But I texted a few friends, told them what was going on and committed to them that I would NOT leave my desk until my 3 pm snack time, as bad as I wanted to eat something right then!!! But I did it! yea! So, I waited it out and had a banana and grapes at 3 pm.

Ate supper about 6 pm which was a Morning Star mushroom lovers burger and some birdseye steamfresh baby potato blend veggies.

While looking in the freezer for the veggies, I saw the Wendy's frosty that I did not finish last night? What?? Me not finish something? What was wrong with me? But truthfully, I put in the freezer and forgot about it. When I saw it this evening I decided I would throw it out but then decided to check my calorie count and see if I had enough left. Eating that would put me over by a little so I decided to work out, which i needed to do anyway. So I did a Biggest Loser video with Bob Harper. I had bought it about a year or so ago and had never used it. I order two workouts today and suddendly remembered I had that one somewhere, so I got it out. It was fun. I did the following:

5 minute warm up

20 minute High-intensity cardio

20 minute strength and sculpt

20 minute cool down.

that high intensity cardio was hard! I worked up a sweat too!
Here are my stats for today so far:

Calories out: 2507

Calories in: 1351

Deficit of 1156.

Now, I need a 500 calorie deficit EVERY DAY to lose a pound in a week. This having a deficit one day and a surplus 6 days does NOT add up to a weight loss but a weight gain! I tend to do well for a few days and then go back to my old habits. I don't want to do that this time. I want so desperately to lose this weight...But somehow, when I see that hamburger, or that dessert, or that whatever, my resolve fades away like butter in a micowave! I am going to try real hard to not let that happen this time. I truly believe what Sean Anderson says in his blog - it probably 20% food and exercise and 80% mind. losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com

I have been reading every blog worth reading about others who have lost weight and how they have done it. I know what to do - that is not the problem. The problem is - doing it! I want to do it this time and do it all the way - not just for a few days. I have gained and lost the same 15 pounds for the past year and a half. it's time to get off the yo-yo and start a downward trend. That is my plan anyway.

I actually started this weight loss in 2008 wiegh in at 238. See this pic:

I lost 70 pounds, thought I had it all figured out and then preceded to gain back most of that. I am tried of that. I really am. I am been going to OA (overeaters anonymous) for a year and talking the talk but not walking the walk. It's time to WALK THE WALK people!!

So today is DAY 1 of my abstinence and the first of many I am hoping. And just to show you how serious I am - I am putting my weight out there for everyone to see. Yesterday when I weighed the scale said 204.9. Yikes! But gotta start somewhere. :)

I would love your encouragement, your holding me accountable, your questions, your help, however you would like to participate. Maybe some of you want to do this along with me. That would be cool too. So lets get started shall we?

How many times am I going to do this? Until I get it done!!!!

How many times am I doing to do this?? Untill I get it done!!!!


Starting over today with my healthy eating plan.....one more time. I have not been good to myself lately. Exercise has been non-existant and my eating is back to old behavior! I can't and won't contine on this way!

So today....one again....I am starting over. TODAY is day 1. I will do this until I get it done. I heard a great quote on the biggest loser by Jay one of the final four-"I may not be known for finishing first, but I am known for finishing!" How awesome is that????? I love it. That's my new mantra. lol.

I will try to blog every day with how my day went.

Okay friends...who's with me?? TOGETHER we CAN do this!!

So I went into the kitchen at work, right?  Should have know better but since I am on "kitchen duty" for the entire month of May, I have to go in there on occasion as I have to clean the kitchen, make the morning coffee, start the dishwasher at day's end...etc....thank goodness there are enough people here that we only have this "duty" once a year or so.  I will be glad when mine is over!!! 

There were donuts there and a few other things.  I came out of that kitchen stuffed to the gill!!! I had no mental defense against it this morning.  Considering I missed my OA meeting last night, even for a good reason, I can understand why this happened.  I need a meeting once a day seems like.  That is what I did when I first got into recovery for my alcohol addiction and that worked really well for me.  But in all actualitym, I know what to do but once again I am CHOOSING  not to do it.  I really don't believe I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, or else I would stop this insanity!!!! I don't  know what it is going to take.  I guess being miserable doesn't feel so bad after all and if I wallow in it enough, it might even become comfortable...or maybe I am already there.  Maybe that is my problem.  Maybe I am comfortable being miserable.  I am been there off and on for my entire life. 

All I can say is, I won't give up, I won't quit.  I will perservere and strive to have good days as best I can. 

This food addiction or compulsive overeating, or whatever you want to call it, is extremely difficult to manage. I don't have to use drugs or alcohol to live every day but I HAVE to eat.  I can't completely abstain from food like I can other things.  That makes it very very hard!!!! 

I have also been working two jobs and have been extremely busy and have found myself not getting enough sleep and feeling stressed.  That is not good for recovery either. 

But enough complaining.  I am going to MAKE this a great day from this moment forward and start fresh!!!

Hope you all MAKE it a great day as well.  :)

Bodybugg stats for 5/09/11

I burned 2,597 calories and ate 1,383 calories on 5/09. That is a deficit of 1,214! I should be losing weight if I keep at this pace....that means NO McDonalds, desserts ect. It's amazing how fast calories can add up when you eat fried foods and desserts!!  

Day ??? Lost count.

I don't know what day I am on with this weight loss but I do know I am not doing well. My 10k last Saturday was quite painful......I really need to lose some weight!!!

I know what to do but I chose not to do it. Well,.....I won't keep going over the smae ole, same ole!!! I know if I do something different I will get something different. In James Club (Sunday School) yesterday we talked about choices and I know that every time I do something I had to make a choice. I must focus on making better choices.

My son and I have made a pack to lose some weight before we run the next 5K in Jackson. I feel confident. .......
That is all for today friends! Please pray for me to become obedient in ALL areas of my life.

MAKE it a great day!!

New job, good day, missing mama

Today has been a good day.  It was the first day on my new job with boss and wife back in town.  They had been to Italy and they brought back beautiful pics.

My first day at work and I get kitchen duty for the month.  The new people always get it!  But I don't mind.  It will break up the monotony of my typing.

With mother's day around the corner, I am getting sad.  This will be my first mother's day without my mom.  I still find it hard to believe she is gone.  I never realized what an impact a sudden death has on a person.   I can't begin to describe the pain I felt.  And it is still there but not as bad.  Some days are good and some are bad.  But none of them are all bad...they are getting better just as I was told they would.  But if you are in church on Sunday and you wonder why I might be crying, just know that I miss my mom each and every day.  She will never sit next to me in church again.  

The more family members that go to Heaven, the more I long to be there!  But I hope God allows me enough time on this earth to make a tiny impact on my grandchildren.  How I look forward to that!!  He is giving me a chance to make amends for not being the mother I should have been, by being the grandmother I know I can be today.  I promised God that if he gave me grandchildren, I would make sure that they knew about his son Jesus.

Sorry this post was not about weight loss or exercise but I do have other things going on in my life....lol.....and weight loss seems to be on the back burner lately. Got to get it back up front and foremost!  I do have a 10K this Saturday and I am supposed to be running the 1 mile Fun Run with my niece Kinzie after I finish the 10K.  I really might die at this one.  lol.

I know that the running will get easier when I lose more weight so I really need to focus on that asap.  I have got to get this new job moving on a more even keel and then I can get back to routine.  I have to "close" tomorrow evening so I don't know what all that entails and how late I will be getting home.  But it will all fall together soon.  As long as I don't give up....anything is possible.  That I do believe!

Check this out - a picture of my family from a long time ago. That is me standing on the right by my dad.  I guess I am about 5 or 6 years old maybe.  Cute huh!!

Day 5, OA, going strong

I am so motivated! Been reading Sean's blog, listening to Big Book study by OA member and thinking positive. And I was just thinking "i HOPE this continues" and as I said it, I realized, this can continue-it's all up to me and my HP of course. I can choose to keep doing what works or I can go back to what I know DOESN'T work and keep doing the same old thing, hoping for something different to happen. I should know by now-it ain't gonna happen! I am going to do this-one day at a time.

If you read this, how about responding with what motivates you?

Have a great night friends,
Betty

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Day 4 - I ran today first time in three weeks and I liked it!!!

I'm back! I'm back! Hope I'm not speaking too soon. I ran 2.5 miles today and did ok. I have had to lay low because of an injury. Don't ask what kind because I don't know. It was a pulled tendon, muscle, or something beside my knee. But I am glad I survived!! lol 

On another note, I am doing better with my food as well. I don't have my calorie count for today totaled yet but I know it is gonna be ok. The Sean Anderson blog I am reading has really got me thinking about ME and how I should put ME first and I am important to ME and worth all the effort it takes to get this weight down!!! I REALLY AM WORTH IT! I don't have 505 pounds to lose like Sean did abut every pound is just as important to me as his was to him! 

Today has been a good day - even at my new job! There are lots of things to learn The last time I made an appointment for a patient all you needed was a pencil and an appointment book. Wow!! Have things changed!! But it's all good. 

And another blessing - my brother and his wife came to church this past Sunday. I have been praying for them for a while now and I have others praying as well. It is so awesome to watch God do what ONLY HE CAN DO!! 

I hate to be short and sweet on this, my 4th day of my new beginning at losing weight, but I still have to shower and total my calories, upload my body bugg, etc. and hopefully get some much needed sleep. I did not sleep well at all last night! I hate watching the clock all night long. I think maybe I was keyed up a little about it being my first day at work without my backup, Jamie, there with me. But it was good. There are a lot of wonderful ladies there and they all made me feel right at home!! 

Have a great night friends and remember - YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Day 3, laziness has entered my world, maybe tomorrow.

Day 3

Today is day 3 of my weight loss and I have done absolutely nothing to promote my weight loss today.  One day at a time...I have done nothing......  My clothes are getting tighter, my stomach is swelling and I have a race in 6 days and I am absolutely NOT motivated to do anything.  I wish motivation was in pill form.......

I don't know why I have been such a lazy person this past month.  I think it is because I have not exercised.  Exercise begets exercise and laziness begets laziness.  Therefore, laziness has entered my world...or maybe it never left...:(  It was just in hiding waiting for the right moment to jump out!

I listened to a friend today describe his daughter as "my daughter that has lost 100 pounds."   She looked really great.  I was jealous!  I need to lose a total of 100 also.  But am I willing to put forth the effort?  Don't guess so....because I'm not doing it....so I must not be willing.

I know those of you are reading this blog are probably thinking,  just get off my butt and do something....anything...just stop complaining.  But this is MY blog and I am writing about MY feelings.  And today, this is how I feel....whinny  I guess.  I wish for a magic pill to cure all my ailments but there is none.  How simple life would be if it were.  But then would this all be worth it?  Most times when we are given things we are not as appreciative as when we have to earn things.

I am starting a new job tomorrow and I want to do my very best and I will strive to do that every day that I work.   Why can't I strive to do my very best with weight loss?  Why do I settle for second best?  Good question.  Maybe I should ponder that question and try to come up with an answer.

I have been watching the show Addicted To Food and find it very interesting.  I love how they look for the "what" of an eating disorder.  WHAT is making me overeat?  WHAT is causing me to sabotage every "diet" I ever go on? WHAT is causing me to think I am not important enough to work hard for what I want and need in order to get and stay healthy?   I talk a good talk.  I know all the lingo.  But do I walk a good walk?  That is what's important.  Anybody can talk it but how many walk it???  Sean Anderson, the author of the blog I have been reading www.losingweighteaeveryday.blogspot.com is walking it.  How I wish I could be like him.  Maybe if I keep reading I will find something in there that will move me to action.  But today was not the day.  Maybe tomorrow......how many times have I said that .... maybe tomorrow.  And now I'm saying it again.  Too many "maybe tomorrow's" have got me to weighing 200 pounds.  Looks like I would realize that my "maybe tomorrow" is definitely not working.

Today was not the day.....maybe tomorrow.

Day 2 ? Not sure.

I think today is day 2 since I decided to try and blog daily about my weight loss. I really have not done well. I know I ate way too much chocolate today! Had easter egg hunt x 2 with lots of food and goodies. Apparently I love the food more than myself! But I wont give up. I told someone the other day that I had to quit smoking many times before I finally quit so I wont give up on this either.

I have not ran in a while so I need to get back out there. I have a 5K next Saturday and I am no way near prepared!. But I will do my best! My mysterious injury is better so I hope it doesnt flair up next week. I am going to try and get in at least 2 30 minute runs next week before my race on Saturday.

Lets all make good choices tomorrow shall we?

TTYL,
Betty

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I've been reading an Awesome blog.  You should it out if you haven't already.  He has given me some great ideas and also some great encouragement.  He started his blog weighing 505 pounds and lost a lot of weight and has blogged about it from the beginning.  I have not been able to read but a few entries but what I read has been so inspiration!!  I plan to come back to the start and read from day 1.  

I think I will start posting on my blog more often so I can have some  accountability.  I would like to post my good days, bad day, weight loss and weight gain, in other words, the good, the bad, and the ugly!!  Maybe it will inspire someone else but maybe, just maybe, it will keep ME accountable to ME and if  others chose to read and comment that will help me and them as well!

When I weighed yesterday and realized (no surprise there) that I have gained weight I was sick, disgusted and depressed!  Not sick enough to change, mind you,  but sick enough to bitch, complain, and moan about it.  But what I want is to get sick enough to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!   I can talk the talk all day long but I'm not walking the walk!!

My official weigh-in day is on Wednesday.  Why? Because I usually eat large amounts of pizza on Thursday night and I don't want to weigh after that!!  I am discovering that every choice/decision I might revolves around food.  Food is the center point of my life.

I have been listening to an OA big book workshop and I am learning a lot and have been really impressed with it.  It is opening my eyes to a lot of things I had not thought of before.

I suppose I will weigh in the morning and report it here.  I have been brutally honest on here so far.  But I don't believe I have posted my weight, especially on a regular basis.  I love showing my ticker than says I have lost 40 pounds but that was 2 years ago!   Yes, I have kept it off but I still have 50 more pounds to go.  I have been goofing off for the past few years.  Lose 1, gain 2, lose 5 gain 10, lose 10 gain 5....well, you get the picture.

I am not sure if I can post every day but I will try to .  Wouldn't it be great if I could just abstain completely from food like I do drugs and alcohol?  But we all know that is impossible.  I believe that is why I have such a struggle with it.  I have been attending OA again for a year now and very little has changed.

But I will go for now and hopefully be able to post again soon.  Good or bad, I plan to put it all out there. . . . and why not?  Everyone sees it anyway.  It's hard to hide 50 extra pounds on a 5'4" body frame!!

When will I be sick & tired of being sick & tired? ? ?

So, im getting dressed to go out for the evening and I look in the mirror. Of course I dont like what I see. But I am not willing to do anything about it. I have gained weight . . . . Again. Why do I do so well for a short time then crash and burn? I am so disgusted with myself!

Why can I not do this for any length of time?

I know all the answers to my own questions!

What will it take to really get sick & tired?

God help me!

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Reaching Out

Today was a milestone for me.

After being in OA for more than a year, I finally mustered up the courage to call someone!

I was headed for a local fast food joint and all the time thinking I don't need be doing this! So I called not one but 3 people! And I did not find it necessary to hit the drive through. I ate something better for me when I got home.

I am excited about it! I know the OA program works - I just have to work it!

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Injury sucks!

I have had a knee problem for a month. Had x-ray and have arthritis. But this is something else. They wanted over 700 dollars for MRI so I scratched that. I have been icing it and haven't run or exercised since April 2nd.

I believe I have been doing too much. I am too old and to overweight to keep this up. I was going to gym 5 mornings a week, zumba twice a week and running 2 to 3 times a week. I dont believe I can keep that pace up.

I really need to focus more on my weight loss. I got a bodybugg and I love seeing those numbers every night! I just need to get a handle on my compulsive overeating. The OA meetings are great but we only have one a week. I wish we had more. I will keep hanging in there.

I have set a goal of losing at least 40 pounds before Dec when I have my 4th half marathon. ONE DAY AT A TIME. I have lost 43 so far, so you would think the second half would be a breeze but it ain't working out like that. But I won't give up. I have faith in me!

Have a great evening friends!

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Catfish Festival 5K

Fun race! I ran & my husband walked. We both had great times! But I need a nap now! :)

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Tired but I wont quit......

I have been getting up @ 5 this week to exercise. Just need to try & get 2 bed early some nights. I am struggling with my motivation for my weight loss. But I know if I were to lose more weight I could run faster! That is not my main reason for losing weight. I want 2 be healthy. I have lost 8 pounds this time around.

I have bought a bodybugg and am loving it. But I need to be more consistent about entering the food I eat. I know I can this! I WILL do this!

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One more time!

After numerous 5Ks, 10Ks and 3 half marathons, I think I have the running down pat! It's the food I stil struggle with! I am still attending OA but not making much progress. I will have to do better. I had a horrible time dealing with my mother's sudden death. But life goes on and so will I.

I have lost a few more pounds (again) and hope to continue.

Gotta hit the sack. Been getting up early to exercise so trying to go to bed a little earlier.
Nite all.

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Hot Chocolate 5K Brandon MS

Did fairly well on 5K yesterday. Not my best but I have not run much since my mom's unexpected death in December. I could tell I was a little out of shape. But is was a fun run and very pretty. It was across the Ross Barnett Reservoir. My daughter, son, and DIL all ran too. It is becoming a family affair and I love it!!! 

My time was 40:40. Not my best but I will take it. 
 

 

 

I hope to be able to get back out here on a regular basis soon. It has been raining and some snow here the past few weeks so weather has not been ideal. And I need a new pair of shoes before I do much serious running. The Galloway training session for the 10K is coming up and I am excited to see what new folks sign up. I remember the first time I ran a mile. I am a lot better now!! I may not be where I would like to be, but I am making progress. 

Have a great week everyone! 

Copied from sparkpeople blog dated January 3, 2011

Copied from my sparkpeople blog:  

Monday, January 03, 2011

Hi everyone. I am still here. Just not in a mood to record anything since my mother passed away unexpectedly December 18th. She had just gone to my third half marathon in Memphis with me on December 4th and seemed to be in great health other than a little tired. Then on December 18th her sister found her dead at home. She had gotten up, made a pot of coffee and gotten dressed for a Christmas brunch. But she want to a glorious party in Heaven instead. It is still hard to comprehend and I am still somewhat in shock. She was 75 years old but acted much younger. This was totally unexpected! 

At any rate, I am just now getting around to feeling like being here on Spark People. I had not weighed since the half marathon on December 4th and I knew I had gained some weight. I have only run twice since the half. I have not really felt like running. I have just been sitting and eating when I am not at work. But I know I can't do that forever. 

I have gained around 15 pounds and I am making no excuses for it either. I will just start over again, hopefully today. It will be hard because I have been eating anything and everything I wanted for a month and now I see the results...not that it surprised me at all! But considering I could have taking to drinking and drugging again, eating and gaining a little weight is nothing compared to how I could have handled my mother's death. I miss her desperately and we were very close. She was my running partner. No, she didn't run but she went to almost every race I had and cheered me on! I will miss that! My heart at first wanted to NEVER run again but I my head told me that my mom would not want that. 

In any case, I am still grieving and will be for a long time I suppose. I am going to try my best to get back into the swing of things with my running and all. Please pray for me as I struggle to make it through this and come out a better person on the other side. My only consolation is the fact that she is in heaven with my dad, right where she wanted to be. 

Talk to you all later. 

Betty 

8K Turkey Trot

Today I did my first turkey trot.  It was an 8K and it was so much fun.  The weather was great - Sunny and windy but not hot - in the 60's.  There were a few hills I did not anticipate but I persevered.  The race began on the highway then down a small blvd. and then onto a multipurpose trail through the woods that was beautiful!  I started out too fast.....again!!  But all in all I am pleased.  I had no one to run with, so my time was a little better.  I tend to not push it when I am running with someone else, especially if they are a new runner.  No one can be any slower than me....just newer!!  lol

The course was supposedly 5 miles but my Garmin said 4.94 when i crossed the finish line.  I did not realize that until I had sat down.  I took off my shows and then decided to check my Garmin. I don't like stopping on a uneven number.....if I had seen it before I took my shoes off, I probably would have gotten back out there and did a few more steps to equal 5.  But I won't let it bother me this time.. he he....

I did a 1/1 ratio this time.  (run 1 minute/walk 1 minute).

My stats:
4.94 miles
1:08 total time
Mile 1 - 12:52
Mile 2 - 14:11
Mile 3 - 13:21
Mile 4 - 15:14 (must have been those bigger "hills")
Mile 5 - 12:24
Avg. HR - 162
Max HR - 182

I did speed up at the end but if I had not started out too fast I might have been able to go even faster in the last mile.  There was several hills that I didn't know about and that made it a little slow going for me.  I had a torn calf muscle last year and did not want that to happen again, so I walked up the hills and ran down them.

I am pleased with my time.  Last year I was running a 15 minute mile and now I am down to a 13-14 minute mile.  So I am improving somewhat.  I have also been able to run a mild without having to stop and walk.  That is so cool!!! Last year I ran 300 miles and this year I have run over 500 so far!  Woohoo!  I can't believe it.  In two years I have gone from a couch potato to running OVER 500 MILES.  That just blows my mind!  Never in a million years would I have ever thought I could or would do that.

My finish line pic:  Time 1:08:11

A few friends:
Rod

Martha:

I have lots of things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving day...especially my health.  But I am not there yet.  I still have a ways to go.  I have only lost half of the 100 pounds I need to lose.  But I won't give up!

In two weeks I have my third half marathon in Memphis.  I am so excited.  My son and his wife are running also. They ran it last year with me too....well, not with me but at the same time as me.  They finished way BEFORE me of course.  But we had a great time and I anticipate having a great time this year too.

I have gotten a little lax on my training this time around.  I am thinking about doing the  Renaissance at Colony Park half marathon again.  It will be in April next year.  It was in June of this year and it was way to hot.  I don't think I want to do one ever again in the heat!!!

 I don't like running alone as I have said many times and the thought of 13.1 miles, hot or cold, with no one to talk to sounds really daunting.  I have a friend, Millette, who is thinking about doing the Renaissance with me.  It would be her first half.  But I have to get over this one in Memphis in two weeks first.  It took me 3.45 hours last year but I anticipate my time being much better this year.  I know what to expect this time...hills included.  Most people would say the "hills" are just bumps, but to me that are hills.  When you train in the Mississippi Delta which is all FLAT LAND, the smallest hill can seem like a monster.  We have no hills here to train on other than the levee and it is a whopper of a hill!! There are no rolling hills here like in Memphis.

My husband went with me and he seemed proud of me.  He is not too thrilled about running, it bores him I think like football does me..he he...but he goes and he takes pics for me.  He is my official driver, camera man, etc.  He is a sweetie!  I thank God for him every day.

Of course I could not do any of this without my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Without his mercy and grace I would still be a drunken, miserable, depressed, overweight, unhealthy, drug addict wondering why my life was so miserable.  Instead, now I have peace, joy, and serenity every day of my life.  Thank you Jesus!    

In Search of Food....

 

Have you ever found yourself looking around for something to eat but not sure why?  I found myself in that situation just a few minutes ago.  Judging from my calorie count so far, I could not possibly be hungry.  So what is it that has me daydreaming about the vending machine and scoping out my office for any tidbit or morsel of food I can find to eat???  I sat in my chair and wondered, “what am I feeling?” but I honestly do not know.  Maybe I’m tired?  I just cannot put a finger on what it is that I am feeling that has me desperately searching for food.  One day I hope to discover what it is but today I just do not know.   

 

What I do know is that I will NOT go downstairs to the vending machine.  I have a few crackers so I will eat those and see how that does.  I have only had 4 glasses of water today.  Generally I have 8 or more so I will drink some more water……haha….water and crackers…..am I in prison??  Lol.  That is an old wives tale….you get more than water and crackers in prison (not that I know personally.)   

 

 After years in recovery one thing I know for sure is that you can’t fix a problem until you can identify what that problem is…..unfortunately today I just can’t lock down what I am feeling.  But I will keep searching.  This is not the first time I have felt this and it probably won’t be the last.   And I thought that writing about it might help as well.  At least it will keep me busy so I don’t start searching for food again.  

 

Have you ever had that problem and if so, could you identify what you were feeling and what did you do about it?   I would love to hear how you handled it.   

 

MAKE it a great day my friends. 

How to Find the Best Sports Foods for Your Diet | Active.com

How to Find the Best Sports Foods for Your Diet | Active.com

Nice short run.

I have been sitting around on my behind, waiting for someone to run with.  I have decided to not wait any longer.  I started this running thing alone and I can continue it alone.  I did take Lillie, my 9 pound dog, with me but wound up having to carry her some of the way.  Won't do that again.

I love having someone to talk to when I run.  I am a people person!  But I have yet to find someone that is as committed as me and as slow as me. There are lots of runners here but they are way too fast for me.  I had one friend that was awesome but she has since decided not to run any more.  Not sure why.  Another friend runs in the morning and I can't see to make myself get up in the morning time.  I guess I will have to if I want to run with someone.  She is the only one that I can probably really count on.  I have another friend that runs with me some but is not as committed as me and she is "hit or miss" most times.  So I wind up running alone.  Oh well, at least I can still run.  I will suck it up and make the best of it!!!

I third half marathon in just a month away.  I missed my 12.5 mile training run this past Saturday because I was out of town with my daughter.  Don't think I will make that up either.  I will just continue on from here.   I am going to try and get my butt in bed early so I can get up early.  Maybe I can meet my early morning friend for a run.  Someone said that if I would just do for a while, it would become habit.  But I did it for almost two months and then fell into laziness again.  Well, not really laziness but sleeping later and then running in the pm.  But I really would like to get it done in the morning time.  All I have to do is.....JUST......DO.......IT!!!!!!

MAKE it a great run my friends!!!