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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Copied from sparkpeople blog dated January 3, 2011

Copied from my sparkpeople blog:  

Monday, January 03, 2011

Hi everyone. I am still here. Just not in a mood to record anything since my mother passed away unexpectedly December 18th. She had just gone to my third half marathon in Memphis with me on December 4th and seemed to be in great health other than a little tired. Then on December 18th her sister found her dead at home. She had gotten up, made a pot of coffee and gotten dressed for a Christmas brunch. But she want to a glorious party in Heaven instead. It is still hard to comprehend and I am still somewhat in shock. She was 75 years old but acted much younger. This was totally unexpected! 

At any rate, I am just now getting around to feeling like being here on Spark People. I had not weighed since the half marathon on December 4th and I knew I had gained some weight. I have only run twice since the half. I have not really felt like running. I have just been sitting and eating when I am not at work. But I know I can't do that forever. 

I have gained around 15 pounds and I am making no excuses for it either. I will just start over again, hopefully today. It will be hard because I have been eating anything and everything I wanted for a month and now I see the results...not that it surprised me at all! But considering I could have taking to drinking and drugging again, eating and gaining a little weight is nothing compared to how I could have handled my mother's death. I miss her desperately and we were very close. She was my running partner. No, she didn't run but she went to almost every race I had and cheered me on! I will miss that! My heart at first wanted to NEVER run again but I my head told me that my mom would not want that. 

In any case, I am still grieving and will be for a long time I suppose. I am going to try my best to get back into the swing of things with my running and all. Please pray for me as I struggle to make it through this and come out a better person on the other side. My only consolation is the fact that she is in heaven with my dad, right where she wanted to be. 

Talk to you all later. 

Betty emoticon

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