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Friday, April 22, 2011

I've been reading an Awesome blog.  You should it out if you haven't already.  He has given me some great ideas and also some great encouragement.  He started his blog weighing 505 pounds and lost a lot of weight and has blogged about it from the beginning.  I have not been able to read but a few entries but what I read has been so inspiration!!  I plan to come back to the start and read from day 1.  

I think I will start posting on my blog more often so I can have some  accountability.  I would like to post my good days, bad day, weight loss and weight gain, in other words, the good, the bad, and the ugly!!  Maybe it will inspire someone else but maybe, just maybe, it will keep ME accountable to ME and if  others chose to read and comment that will help me and them as well!

When I weighed yesterday and realized (no surprise there) that I have gained weight I was sick, disgusted and depressed!  Not sick enough to change, mind you,  but sick enough to bitch, complain, and moan about it.  But what I want is to get sick enough to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!   I can talk the talk all day long but I'm not walking the walk!!

My official weigh-in day is on Wednesday.  Why? Because I usually eat large amounts of pizza on Thursday night and I don't want to weigh after that!!  I am discovering that every choice/decision I might revolves around food.  Food is the center point of my life.

I have been listening to an OA big book workshop and I am learning a lot and have been really impressed with it.  It is opening my eyes to a lot of things I had not thought of before.

I suppose I will weigh in the morning and report it here.  I have been brutally honest on here so far.  But I don't believe I have posted my weight, especially on a regular basis.  I love showing my ticker than says I have lost 40 pounds but that was 2 years ago!   Yes, I have kept it off but I still have 50 more pounds to go.  I have been goofing off for the past few years.  Lose 1, gain 2, lose 5 gain 10, lose 10 gain 5....well, you get the picture.

I am not sure if I can post every day but I will try to .  Wouldn't it be great if I could just abstain completely from food like I do drugs and alcohol?  But we all know that is impossible.  I believe that is why I have such a struggle with it.  I have been attending OA again for a year now and very little has changed.

But I will go for now and hopefully be able to post again soon.  Good or bad, I plan to put it all out there. . . . and why not?  Everyone sees it anyway.  It's hard to hide 50 extra pounds on a 5'4" body frame!!

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