I SLIPPED OR WAS IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO??

I love food. It’s plain and simple. I LOVE FOOD. I guess I love food more than being healthy, more than losing weight, more than running faster, almost more than life itself. Because if I keep eating like this I will die. I am going to die anyway but I could die sooner if I continue my unhealthy way of life.


I am sure many of you have heard this before…I do good for a while and then slip back into my old ways. Wait a minute - - - slip??? Is that a good word? Do I really slip or do I just do what I WANT TO DO, like I was sharing with someone earlier, while I was eating the biggest piece of white chocolate bread pudding I have ever seen!! The thought did cross my mind that “I certainly don’t need this” and I even stated that fact OUT LOUD to my friend sitting across the table from me, who by the way did NOT get dessert. And even that did not stop me. Simply put – I did what I WANTED TO DO.

That is it in a nutshell. Left to my own devices I will ALWAYS do what I want. Not what you want or he wants or anyone else wants – only what I want!!

And I guess here lately I have wanted to eat LOTS of things that are not good for me. I am a fast food junkie and once I start that cycle, it is hard to quit. But I will quit. And you know when?

WHEN I WANT TO and not a minute before. I have just got to find a reason to want to!!!!!!!!


Pray for me people.

Summer Workout

This is a fun video my friend Almedia made.  It shows us working out in the gym.  It was all in fun and we had a great time doing it!

Summer Workout

No Mental Defense Against The First Bite

At a certain point in the drinking overeating of every alcoholic compulsive overeater, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking eating compulsively is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected.

The fact is that most alcoholics compulsive overeaters, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink eating compulsively.  Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink compulsive bite. 

The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a first bite of that glass of beer binge food do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.

The alcoholic compulsive overeater may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink eat in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar kitchen table or fast food counter and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink bite." Or "What's the use anyhow?"

When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic compulsive overeating tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane.  - from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous page 24.  

Say what????  

Yes, this is the way it was for me some 20+ years ago. But God freed me from that obsession.  Now I have the same problem with food.  And I know the answer to my problem.  I'm just not willing to do it  - at least not a continual day-to-day basis.  I have a few good days or weeks then I kill it with a huge, usually fried, meal with a huge dessert!  And once I eat that dessert all my mind is thinking of is - MORE SUGAR PLEASE!!!  

At my weigh-in tomorrow morning I hope to be BACK to what I was two weeks ago.  A good weekend of eating compulsively and it takes me TWO WEEKS to get back to where I was.  Does that surprise me? Nope!  I do it all the time.  I let my guard down and just like it says above - I am unable, at certain times, to bring into my consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.  I am without defense against the first compulsive bite! 

I do not remember the night I laid awake all night with a stomach ache from all the fried foods I ate.  I do not remember the ways I am swollen from all the salt.  I seem to forget how horrible I feel after eating fast foods on a regular basis. But AFTER I have eaten it and the guilt and pain sets it - then and only then - do I remember - oh yeah!  I might should not have done that!  But - too late.  

I know my solution is in God just as it was when I first started AA meetings. I learned about God in AA and about unconditional love and forgiveness.  I am fond of saying that "the AA meetings led me straight to the cross!"  Praise Jesus!

Because He loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;  I will protect him, for He acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him."  (Psalm 91:14-15)

I know my Jesus loves me and he doesn't desire to see me suffer.  The suffering I bring all on myself.  I MUST call on him more, as I did when I first got clean and sober!  Jesus must be my first thought as I fight this battle with my compulsive self.  

Only He can save me.  That much I do know!

MAKE it a great day my friends!

Betty

The weekend sucked!

Not a good weekend. Back to bad habits again.

Must . Get . Back . On . Track.

Workout tomorrow at 6.

Have taken on another job. Trying to not let it interfere with my workouts!

This is short and sweet tonight.

My Drug of Choice and Starting Over



Why is it when I am upset the first thing I think about is hurting MYSELF! Before I got sober it was alcohol and drugs. Before that it was sex and relationships and finally after breaking free from all that – food became my drug of choice. Actually I believe food was my “drug of choice” long before the others, but with all the drugs and alcohol I was pouring into my body, the last thing I was worried about was how much food I was eating and my weight!


So with the help of an outpatient treatment program and many, many AA meetings and finally a relationship with a higher power named Jesus, I was able to kick most of those demons that were plaquing me. But food has been an issue from the day I was born. It is funny; when I look back on some old pictures I am not fat. I am not skinny but I am not fat either. I don’t know why I always thought I was fat when I was growing up. I remember seeing my mother take numerous diet aids and going to weight loss meetings of TOPS – Take Off Pounds Sensibly. She had these little square chewy things wrapped in foil that we were not supposed to eat. I believe they were called Aids. You were supposed to eat them before a meal and you would lose weight. Of course I ate them, I guess just because she said not to. They were terrible!

I don’t know if seeing her struggle with her weight made ME think I was fat or what! My mother was successful at the TOPS meetings and she actually won a trophy for her efforts. But the weight always came back on. My mother grew up on a farm and they ate very well. Of course I was exposed to that food also as a child. It was nothing to have the dinner table so full of food there was hardly room to eat at the table. There was usually two meats, and several vegetables and of course many desserts. I was in heaven. There is no telling how many calories I would consume on those days.

But I digress. Actually, the point I was getting to was how I still use food when I am upset. Yesterday was one of those days. It’s strange how I can be floating along with everything seeming to be fine and then bam!! A wrench gets thrown into the mix. The first thing my mind tells me is to eat something. And yes, the food does taste good and it makes me feel good - temporarily. Then the guilt sets in and I hate myself (one more time) and the vicious cycle starts all over again!! But today I won’t do that. I will NOT do that. I won’t!! I refuse to gain this weight back. I know that yesterday was not a total loss but I did not eat “good” foods for me. And I also did not allow the guilt to get to me. I won’t let anything stop me this time.      I . SIMPLY . WON’T.

At least today I recognize where my failures are, what I am doing wrong and how to stop the downfall before too much damage is done. And one good thing about living is that I can start over at anytime. Major always says, “as long as someone is breathing, there is always hope” - So today is a start-over day. I didn’t do too much damage yesterday but it was not my best day either.

So – here’s to starting over.

If you are starting over today, suck it up and move on. It is only a temporary setback. Get right back to doing what you know works!! That’s what I’m gonna do and I’ll let you know how it goes!

MAKE it a great day friends.



Betty

AMAZING THINGS CAN HAPPEN

Wow!  Yesterday was really great!  My stats were:

14,578 steps
20 floors climbed
6.81 miles traveled
2,243 calories burned
1,546 calories eaten

I have lost 5 pounds in the past month.  I know to some that will sound like a slow job but it's okay with me!  A loss is a loss!!  It is SO much better than a gain!!

My OA meeting was great.  There were only two of us there though. We read from the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous.  It's funny how you can read something that you have read before and see it in an entirely different way.  Cool!!

I have lost a total of 16 pounds this year.  For the first couple of months I was yo-yo-ing back and forth but I believe I have broken my plateau.  My workout tonight with trainer and friends was awesome!  We walked/ran/jumping jacked and steam engined our way through 2 miles.  It was hot but we did it!  We would walk a little bit and then run a short sprint for as fast as we could.  It was a heart pumping workout alright!!!!  In between the runs and walks we did jumping jacks, steam engines, get-ups, etc.  Tomorrow we are going to bring our mats and work out on our abs some.  My trainer likes to workout outdoors.  And that is fine with me.  The hotter it is, the more calories I can burn, and I might get a tan too.  Although  I do wear sunscreen. After our workout today I came home and cleaned out the pool, swept off the patio, since Major had mowed the yard and made a mess, but I didn't complain because every step was more calories burned.  I am learning to like NOT sitting on the couch and watching TV from when I get home from work till bedtime. I spend enough time sitting at my job all day and then my second job at home at night typing.  We will be working out tomorrow again in the park.

I am determined this time to really do this deal!!!  Nothing can stop me but me!!!  And this time I want to succeed.

MAKE it a great day friends, 

Betty 

Good days and bad and I'm not perfect.

Hey everybody! I had a not so good weekend but back on tract today. I ate out Sat. night and had meatballs and spaghetti AND dessert! The biggest problem with eating out for me is the sodium content! I can “gain” 5 pounds from eating out 1 time. I know it is just water weight from the sodium so I don’t let it get me down. And generally when I am not eating right, I am also not drinking enough water. I have found that water is a wonderful thing (even though I still don’t like it). If I drink a big glass before I eat, I will eat less. It makes me feel full. It also helps me with the swelling that I have from the too much sodium I usually get. I would love to say I drink around 8-10 glasses a day but that is not true. I generally do better during the week while at work. I have started drinking water when I eat out instead of a diet coke. I had a diet coke the other day, the first one in a long time, and it did not even taste good! I can’t say that I love water yet but I am learning to “like” it. Crystal Light has become my new BFF. I do drink a lot of crystal light! So that is better than no water at all. Not long ago the only water that touched my mouth was when I brushed my teeth.

I have not been able to blog every day. My life is just not that interesting. But I saw a picture that made me want to come here and blog today:

Thanks Motive Weight Website  for the pic today!!

I know that writing about my good days and bad days are helpful. I have diaries from way back that I have written in. It is interesting to go back and read them. One thing I need is accountability!! Knowing that people may read this blog helps me to stay honest. I only want to inspire others and hopefully I am able to do that. I know that my writing about the good AND bad will help others because we all have bad days. Every day is not good!

When I read about someone else’s day it helps me to realize that all is not lost. So I may have had a bad day! Just pick up and carry on. It’s not the end of the world. There used to be a time when a setback would keep me down and I would use that as an excuse to give up and succumb to the compulsive overeating monster!!! I would continue on that downward spiral until I had gained back all the weight PLUS some! Then would come the self-hatred and the loathing of myself, the depression and the negative self-talk. Today I don’t do that. I have become a much more positive person. I have realized that I am not and never will be perfect. I have also come to realize that I am not a quitter and having a bad day now and then will not stop me from reaching my goal. It may just take me longer but I WILL get there.

Yesterday was a good day. After the “not so good” weekend I picked back up yesterday with good eating habits and lots of water etc. Doing the things I know I should be doing. I worked out at the park with my friends and trainer. We ran/walked 3+ miles. It was nice. The weather was not too terribly hot as it was cloudy. At times there was a nice breeze blowing. It is so much fun to work out with friends and to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me. Before I know it, the time has past, the miles are done and we are finished! I have a hard time working out by myself. I will do it but it is so much more enjoyable to work out with friends.

Well, I guess I have rattled on enough for today. Oh….my Fitbit stats last week – pretty impressive. I forgot my Fitbit yesterday morning so my step count will be low for Monday but that’s ok. I know I was moving!

Week of June 11 – June 17
STEPS
Total: 56,655
Daily average steps: 8,094
Weekly best: 12, 920 steps

DISTANCE
Total distance: 24.05 miles
Daily average: 3.44
Weekly best: 5.33

FLOORS
Total floors climbed: 12
Daily average: 2
Weekly best: 11

CALORIES
Total calories burned: 13,949
Daily average: 1,993
Weekly best: 2,172

CALORIES IN VS OUT
Total in vs out: -3,001
Calories burned: 13,949
Calories eaten: 7,448 (this is not totally correct as some days I did not log ALL my food on My Fitness Pal  , which is a great website for keeping tract of calories by the way). 

WEIGHT
Lightest weight: 195.8
Heaviest weight: 196.4
Weight change: - 0.6 pounds

Most active day was Monday

Least active day was Sunday (looks like I need to move more on Sunday!!)

And this morning I started out with a 1 mile run on the home treadmill!  Yea me!!!  Have to pat myself on the back because I am NOT a morning person!!!

MAKE it a great day friends!!


~ Betty ~

Slowly but surely beats fast and furious...every time!

Slowly but surely…..hummm….I think I like fast and furious better! But that’s not the way of successful weight loss now is it?   I have lost 1,000’s of pounds but have not been very successful in keeping them off in the past.  I lost 60 pounds back in 2008 and gained back about 40 of that.  So I have been able to keep some of that weight from returning but now I am working on really getting down to my “goal weight”. 

Since the first of this year I have lost 14 pounds and since buying my Fitbit I have lost 7 of those pounds.  I want to say I am really determined this time but I have said that before ….and failed.  So I will just say that I am taking it “one day at a time” and that is all I can really handle anyway.  It is the same as with alcohol – I have a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition. Based on that, a few other things I have had to do, and the “one day at a time” philosophy I have been able to stay clean and sober for over 20 years.  Surely I can somehow incorporate that into my compulsive overeating and be successful at this as well.  I think what has helped me to keep some of this weight off was finally admitting that I AM  a compulsive overeater and that one bite of  whatever it may be will only set me on a downward spiral.  Just as sure as I can’t have 1 drink, there are some foods that I don’t need to have 1 of either.  I haven’t quite conquered that concept yet but I am working on it.  Overeaters anonymous meeting have greatly helped me to understand myself and my eating habits.  And it is great to be able to share how I feel with others who understand.  People who don’t struggle with this issue sometimes can’t quite grasp the concept of being a compulsive overeater.  And they even think the idea of meetings for such a problem is strange!  I have even had people laugh in my face and say, “they have meetings for that?”  But that is okay, to each his own. I know what works for me.  And like I have always heard, if it is working, why stop doing it!!

Reading about others who have been successful in this endeavor is always motivational for me. So I search the internet for others who have lost weight in a healthy way and are keeping it off.  One such person is here.  Check out his story.  It is awesome!   And his  book is great too!  He is also on facebook as well.  Just search for Sean Anderson.  

And as I have said so many times before though - I won’t quit.  I won’t give in.  I won’t!!  I just won’t!!  It may take me one year or several years to get this done but I will do it.  And if I can motivate others along their journey – then so much the better! 

MAKE it a great day friends!!

My Fitbit, running, and this and that

Here are my stats from my  FITBIT.  I have to admit that ever since getting this little gadget I have been moving more and getting in more steps. It is definitely a motivator for me. I love competing with my friends on the web site. And I love the fact that it syncs to my computer the moment I walk in the room. No buttons to push, nothing to enter on the Fitbit web site unless I just want to enter my food I ate. But I do that with the  my fitness pal web site and that syncs to my Fitbit account. So all I have to do is enter my food eaten and water, if you keep up with that, and everything else is done. Yea!! It’s a breeze. I have lost 6 pounds since getting it.

Steps 16,653
Distance 8.78
Floors: 1
Calories burned – 2,703
Calories eaten – 1,120
Water – 7 cups
Sedentary: 10 hrs 55 min; 63% of my day
Light Activity: 3 hr 41 min; 21% of my day
Fairly active: 1 hr 27 min; 8% of my day
Very active: 1 hr 14 min; 7% of my day

Yesterday was great! I went straight to the gym from work and got in 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the elliptical. Exercise really does make me feel so much better. I wonder why it is so hard to get going some times when I know how great I will feel afterwards!!

My trainer and exercise buddy have been “missing in action” lately and I guess I will have to learn to go it alone. Hopefully this is only temporary.

In my running I have had to go it alone as well. There is almost no one that is as slow and as dedicated as me so I have no running buddies on a regular several time a week basis. I do have a great group of friends that run with me on most Saturdays when our running group meets but I would love someone who would like to run on a regular basis maybe 3 times a week or so. And when I talk “running” to some people they get all bent out of shape. When I say run, I mean run/walk. What I do – anyone can do. I don’t care how young, old, big or small you are. Although I can and have run without walking for up to 3 miles, I don’t usually do that unless I am on the treadmill. Running outside is so much harder than on the treadmill!! But I do whatever I feel like doing because after all – it is MY run. But I sure would love to have company. It is so much easier getting out the door when I know I have someone waiting on me who enjoys it like I do. Once I take that first step it gets better after that. But getting out the door sure is hard sometimes!

Growing up I was shy and quiet and scared of most people. It is hard to believe that today I am a “people” person. I love people, love being with people and love group things. A relationship with my Higher Power, whom I choose to call Jesus, is what changed all that. I do believe that without Him I would still be that shy, quiet, scared, lonely and depressed couch potato that I always was; wanting so badly to do things differently but so terribly scared to begin. My life is good today and will my continued healthy lifestyle I believe it will get even better.

MAKE it a great day friends and get up and MOVE!!

~ Betty ~

It Will All Be Worth It!

Was reading my last post titled "This OA way is working" and I realized that OA does work IF I WORK IT! And I have not been working it lately. I began working out with a trainer and was doing well but we had a 2 week hiatus and I let some old habits slip back in. What a minute - what am I saying??? I did not let anything "slip" in! I knew what I was doing when I was doing it! I wanted that food and I ate it. For a while my healthy eating plan went out the window and I ate all the things I said I wouldn't and all the things that are not good for me. I think it all started wtih some candy and went downhill from there. But irregardless of the reason I DO see the pattern and am putting a stop to it right here and now. A friend has recently started his weight loss journey and writing about it on his blog and he has inspired me to keep on keeping on. Yes, some days it is extremely hard and some days are easy but either way - IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT - that much I do know!

This OA Way Is Working!

I have had a few good days so far! My abstinent date is January 22. I have lost 8 pounds so far. I plan to continue doing the best I can. I know that one day at a time is important and I have finally realized that if I stay away from the"first" one, I don't have to worry about the 10th one or the 20th one and so on!! My obsession with food has been removed. I no longer feel sorry for myself when I can't have something. I WANT to eat healthy. I really WANT to do this deal! My eating has been going great but my exercise has been nonexistent. I am going to work on that! MAKE it a healthy day friends! I know you can!

One Day At A Time? Why didn't I think of that before?

I have been doing really well with my eating.   I have been exercising regularly and have cut out fried foods for a while. They tend to not agree with me.  I have been cutting down on the sweets too.  I have the mid set of "one day at a time" instead of  "poor me! I can never have that again!"  I am choosing to not eat some things because they are not healthy for me but I can eat it if I want too.  Today - I did not want too.  After reading   Sean's Book - My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back I realized that food was not the enemy. I was my worst enemy.  God made us to need food and it is my fault if I abuse that.

I have been going to OA for over a year and would have a good weeks but never anything longstanding.  Why did it take that long to realize that I could treat my addiction to food just like I did my addition to drugs and alcohol?  I could drink alcohol today, if I chose too, but one day at a time, for over 20 years, I have chosen not too - because I know what will happen if I do.

The same with food - I know what certain foods will do to me and if I never put them in my mouth, I never have to go through the withdrawals again.  I did the same thing with nicotine.  I quit cold turkey because I knew just one cigarette would put that nicotine right back into my system and I would have to go through the nicotine withdrawal all over again.  Was it easy?  Not on your life,  But it was so worth it!!!!

So, one day at a time, I will choose to not eat certain foods because I know what the outcome will be. And if I feel like I am losing the fight - I will just pick up Sean's book and start re-reading it (because I keep it close by) and I'm sure that will keep me on the straight and narrow!

Take at look at what I chose not to eat today....because I knew "just one" would not be enough and I would go back for more.  So if I don't start with the first one I don't ever have to have the second one...and the third...and the 100th one!!! And, sadly it is like this almost every day at work...~sigh~

But I can do this thing - and SO CAN YOU!!!!

Take care friends,
Betty

Book Review - Transformation Road-My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back by Sean Anderson

If you want a funny, motivational, and very enjoyable book to read about losing weight and getting your life back, check out Transformation Road - My Trip to Over 500 Pounds and Back by Sean Anderson.


www.transformationroad.com/

He was once over 500 and now is at a normal weight. And.....he blogged every bit of his journey here...

www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/

You will love his story. I just finished his book and am amazed. You can also friend him on facebook. He has lots of great conversations via facebook and he statues are all motivational and uplifting. You won't be disappointed!

After reading his book, I am on my way, once again, to really getting this weight off and KEEPING IT OFF THIS TIME! Check out his web site, facebook and/or buy his book and let me know what you think!!

Have a blessed day friends.

Betty

Running Again and Precious Memories

I have decided it is not how fast or slow I go - it is just that I go! I finally got out there for a 2 mile run this morning. I saw a saying once that struck a cord with me - no matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch! That makes me feel better about doing this thing. Sometimes I let my low self esteem creep back in and I begin to think about what "others" think about me when and if they see me running. I try not to let it bother me and it doesn't most of the time. But when it does, it makes it hard for me to get out the door sometimes. I don't look like the typical runner. I am still overweight and have 50 pounds to lose but I love the way running makes me feel and just because I don't "look" like a typical runner, I still have every right to be out there.


No one has ever said anything to me about being an "overweight" runner and I have no reason to think anyone would, but I let those little voices in my head try to keep me on the couch. Have you ever heard, "I"m my own worst enemy" - well that is me sometimes. I'm not going to do that anymore. I have only gotten great encouragement from others !! It's time I stop listening to those voices in my head that try to keep me down.
So this morning me and my Lillie (dog) went for a 2 mile run and we had a great time!!! I have missed my running. I made a pack with my son that he and I would get back at it and start running again so we could participate in some races together. That should be a great motivator in inself! One of my favorite races was the Half Marathon my son and I ran together. He stayed with me step for step although he is much faster. He could have left me but he stayed by my side the whole 13.1 miles. I will always treasure that race. It was a tough one, in June and I am not sure I could have finished without him by my side. It was so freaking hot!!!! But we did it and that medal means more to me that anyone will ever know.

I wish I could get my daughter back out there as well. But she works so much most of the time. My PR for a 5K was one that I ran with my daughter. Once again I was encouraged by my child. She too, ran along beside me and when I was at my lowest point and thinking I would have to stop, she encouraged me. I have never had a 5K that fast since and I know it was because of her.

What fun my children and I have together!! There will always be precious memories of my children but I never once could imagine that they would include running! God really has a sense of humor. If he had said, Betty, when you are in your 50's you will be running road races wtih your children. Ha! That would have made for a great laugh but .....here I am...doing just that!!!

God is good.

Take care my friends and remember to make precious memories with your family. One day that may be all you have. :)

Dedicated to my mother who passed away December 18, 2010. I miss you mom! And thanks for the memories.

A New Year = A New Start

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4, 2012

I have finally.....finally.....finall


y realized that I am a compulsive overeater and cannot manage without the help of my Higher Power! Wow! What a concept! I knew it all along but was not "totally" convinced I suppose. I would try to have "just one" and that always lead to a relapse of some sort. I have to look at this process the same way I am able to stay sober today...one day at at time.

I have been sober for 20+ years and I am sure if I apply what I have learned to my compulsive eating I will succeed. I guess I just have not been ready to make that commitment. But this year I am! I am tired of doing the yo-yoing back and forth. Yea - I have lost 40 pounds but that was almost six years ago and yes I have kept it off but I still have a lot more to go. I can't look at that 40 pounds as being successful today! That is in the past and I starting fresh TODAY. With the weight I am TODAY!

I have been eating everything and anything I wanted over the past month and have gained 10+ pounds. So, once again, I see how easy it comes back on. And I see how just one bite can move me in the wrong direction.

How many times have I said this?

How many times have I written about this?


Probably a few hundred or so. But I won't give up. I will keep on keeping on until I get it done. They say in AA "don't stop coming back before the miracle happens" and I won't stop doing this thing until I get the healthy body I want! My miracle is coming and it may be just around the corner. With the help of my Higher Power, my friends in OA, my Sparkpeople friends and the many positive actions I am going to take, I will get there. I feel it in my bones. This time is THE TIME. The time I get it right, the time I make it work, the time I give control over to my Higher Power and allow him to lead me into freedom from compulsive overeating.

Will it be easy? NO!

Will it be worth it? DEFINITELY!!!

Take care my friends.
Betty

Race Results for Half Marathon 12/03/11

Thursday, December 22, 2011


I completed my fourth half marathon. Yippee!!

My time was not as good as last year though. But my training has not been as agressive either. I am disappointed that I have not lost any weight by running and am beginning to realize that I need to focus on my eating habits.....which are way out of control!!! I can't rely solely on exercise. I must learn to eat in a healthy way.

After the HM I decided to take a break from all exercise. I have exercised only once since that HM. AND......THIS IS NO SURPRISE...I HAVE GAINED 10 POUNDS....

So I am planning to get back on track, one more time!!!! I have been attending OA meetings but we only have 1 a week and I really need more than that. I may look into some online meetings.


I am going to update my weight tracker and start from scratch. ~ sigh ~

St. Jude Half Marathon Dec 3rd, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


This will be short and sweet. I have been missing in action as far as spark People is concerned. But I am BACK! I have really got to get back on track. During my last 12 mile training run I realized how out of shape I really am!

My half marathon is tomorrow in Memphis and I feel ready. After this race is over I am going to regroup and see where I am and what I need to do. I desperately need to lose some more weight. I have recently gained almost 10 pounds. That's what happens when you decide you can do this thing alone and don't count calories, don't exercise as much, etc. etc. I find it so easy to slip back into my old behavior.....anyone else have that problem????

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season and I will post again with the results of my race.

Have a wonderful day friends!

Betty

To run or not to run...that is the question!

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2011

I have a 5K coming up in two weeks. Gonna be fun! I don't feel I'm in as good a shape as I used to be considering I am not running as much as I used too. It was really more fun when I had someone to run with. I am more motivated when I know someone is waiting on me to meet them. I keep saying I am going to get up and out the door whether I have anyone to run with or not and I do that - but not very often. I believe I would run every day if I had someone who wanted to do it as much as I do. All my running buddies have decided not to run for various reasons. On my 4 miles last Saturday which turned out to be a 5 miler (yeah)!! I ran alone because all the others were so much faster than me. But that's okay. At least I did it.




But I don't relish running 11 miles this Sat by myself.....booooo hooooo. But I guess I will do it. The half marathon is getting closer and closer. I missed my 9 mile long run and did not make it up so I can't miss any more.



I am really contemplating not doing any more half marathons after the St. Jude in December until I REALLY lose more weight. I would be a little faster if I lost more weight and would have a better chance of finding someone to run with.



I haven't really decided what I am going to do about my running, other than I know I won't stop running altogether. I do enjoy it and I know it's good for me.



I hope everyone has a great night!

Betty

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011


I am sitting at my son and DIL's house enjoying their company and enjoying my grandson who is 2 weeks old. He is so precious! I am so grateful for so many things in my life. God has blessed me greatly and I don't deserve any of it! Thank you God!! I am also sitting here thinking about my running, the half marathon coming up in Dec. and the weight I have not lost. I am trying to get okay with myself. I find myself thinking about food all the time. I wish I wasn't so obsessed with it. Every time I run I think about how much easier it would be if I would lose a little more weight. I am still 60 pounds overweight. I promise myself I will lose the weight and that resolve lasts only until I see the next cookie or cake or hamburger ect. I can't seem to get motivated. You would think the running would motivate me but it doesn't. Sometimes at the exact moment I am running it motivates me but there again, the motivation is short lived. I don't really have a lot to complain about though. As I said at the beginning of this blog I have been truly blessed. I will continue to enjoy my family and continue to work on my weight. I will continue to run because I do enjoy it so much and I do want to run St. Jude since I am signed up and raising money for the kids too. It will be my 3rd time to run it and my fourth HM. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I have ran 13.1 miles but I have the medals to prove it! Considering everything, my life is great today. I hope everyone reading this has an awesome night!!

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26, 2011

********* COPIED FROM OTHER BLOG ********

Monday, September 26, 2011


Nothing special today. I did get in a 2 mile walk after work with Lillie. I had my 8 mile training run this past Sat and it went well. Nothing like my last 10K. I really think I let my pride get the best of me and started out way to fast in that race. I really contemplated giving up running after that race.....but.....after this awesome 8 mile run I don't think I'lll give it up. Everyone has bad days, bad races and so forth. And I have the kids at St Jude to think about. I am raising money this year. I had not done that before. I don't know that I can raise much but any little bit will help. Check out my ST Jude Fund raising page here:

www.mystjudeheroes.org/bettyhogue


I hope you all are enjoying your runs!

See you on the road,