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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Carb addict!

Weight today - yeh, lets just get the bad out there first!!! ha ha!!!

206 pounds!

But....Yesterday was a good day and today was a good day.  I just left the OA meeting and I feel better.  We are listening to a big book study and the guy doing it is in OA and relates everything to food.  Boy, do I get it!  I just need to listen to him 24/7 and maybe it will stick in my thick skull.

I have been sober 22 years and God has removed the craving I had for alcohol and drugs.  Now I need him to do it for the carbs and sweets.  In the big book study he talks about having an addition to carbs and I believe a person can have that.  I think I do!  The more I eat them, the more I want them!  There is no "I'll just have one" when it comes to pizza, donuts, fast food etc.  If I eat at a fast food place for lunch I will want to eat there for supper and every day thereafter.  I do believe it sets up a craving in me just like when I had the problem with alcohol. And the only way to stop a craving is to never start one!  I always heard in AA that it is not the 100th drink that gets you - it's the first one and today I understand that.  If I never have the 1st one - then I don't have to have the 2nd, and the 3rd and so on.  Its the same way for me with the carbs and sweets.  If I can just refrain from having that 1st one, that is where my problem lies. I lie to myself and say I will only have 1 but I don't ever have 1 of anything!  My mentality has always been - if 1 is good, then 2 or more is better!  And that gets me into a lot of trouble most times.  I truly understand this but have yet to be able to live it out.  There are days when I can have "just 1"  and it may take a while but eventually I will end up on a day when 1 just isn't enough and I will eat till I am sick.  

This .....stop!

So, I am proud of my two good days and I hope to have a few more good days, one day at a time.  

Make it a great evening friends.

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