Tuesday, March 26, 2013
MY OBESE LIFESTYLE IS BACK!
The above picture is an example of my lifestyle since Christmas. I started eating and have not been able to stop. An addiction is an addiction no matter what I am addicted to. It seems SUGAR and FRIED FOODS are the culprits that are keeping me miserable these days. Not that I did not know it would happen. I have first hand experience of what will happen when you take that "first one". If I take the first one, there will always be a second one and a third, etc, etc, and on and on. Well, you get the idea.
And along with my overeating comes the weight gain and then I don't feel like exercising. I get the lazy syndrome which means more couch time and less gym time. And to top that off - I have a half marathon IN TWO WEEKS! I have not ran but one time in the last two weeks.
Well, that is my story and unfortunately I have to stick with it! The truth is the truth, no matter how hard I try to twist it!
I went to an OA meeting today and it was just what I needed. But meetings won't save me and starving won't save me and diet pills won't save me. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that "I have a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition" and my spiritual condition is not the best right now. And it has not been for a long time. We have joined a new church and I feel the fire growing in me again and I am excited about getting involved with all the people there. It has been awesome so far!!
I have a daunting task ahead of me and one that I don't want to do. I want to take the easy way out - like I have always done in the past. But the easy way out won't get me anywhere with this weight. I want to be healthy and have a healthy body. I'm not taking about skinny - I'm talking about HEALTHY! And I know it is up to me and no one else.
Not to lay the blame where it shouldn't be, but I could not live with a drunk if I was trying to stay sober, but I AM having to live with a compulsive over eater and I am trying to NOT eat compulsively. That sucks! But I can't blame him. I am responsible for my life and how it turns out. It may not be his fault but it does make it harder for me. I will have to accept that and take responsibility for myself. If I want it, I can have it. But just how bad do I want it? I will have to think about that.......
Speaking of my spiritual condition, I think I will go read the Bible for a while before I go to bed. I do believe that is a step in the right direction!
Take care friends.