NOT MUCH PROGRESS LATELY!

Ok, so, someone posted a comment on my blog and said they were missing my posts.  How cool is that. Made me want to post right away.  Not that I have anything good to report.....

I have completely discontinued the fluid pill and my weight, not suprisingly, is up.  That sucks and I don't like it one bit but I know it is not only because of stopping the fluid pill.  We were on the road a lot last week and I ate several things that were not good for me.  So much so that I did not even record what I ate.  I could have just put 5,000+ calories and been done with it! 

I am back to keeping up with what I eat today.  My trainer said that all this exercise and working out is for nothing if we don't take our diet seriously. He is so right.  I have been running, biking, walking, treadmill, eliptical etc since 2009 but am at the same weight, give or take a pound or two!  I can exercise all I want but if I still eat too many calories, the weight is NOT coming off.  I know all the great and wonderful things that WORK when I am trying to lose weight, but more times that not, I want what I want, when I want it and my diet and hard work goes right out the window. 


I don't know what it will take to stop this insanity.  I have hardly any consequences from my overeating other than the fact that I don't like the way I look.  But today I have been having some stomach upset and I know it is from all the fast food that I ate over the weekend.  Of course when that goes away I will forget it even happened and go right back to what I know best! 

Changing habits that have been with me for over 40 years is damn hard but not impossible.  I will continue to try to do better.  I will NEVER give up on this journey to be a healthy person!!

My motivational quote today is in the form of a picture.  Enjoy -

It's STILL time for a change....

MAKE it a great day,

Betty

DAY 10 WAS YESTERDAY AND A GOOD DAY

 

Yesterday was day 10 and it was a pretty good day.
I am sore from gym workout with weight machines but I knew I would be.

I am also so tired. I have a full time job and two part-time jobs and I am not getting enough sleep.  One of these part-time jobs is only temporary so I will suffer through till the end.

Yesterday I had several periods of feeling extremely hungry even though I don't think I could have been really hungry but my stomach growled.  And I went to bed feeling that way.  But guess what  - it didn't kill me.  I still woke up this morning.

Not sure how this blogging is gonna go - if I will post on the day of or the day after.  Finding the time to post is a problem.

Yesterday's stats:
Starting Weight 197
Current Weight - 195.6
Goal weight 140
Steps - 12,617
Exercise - 3 mile walk in the park.
Calories eaten 1,396

Motivational Thought for The Day

Enthusiasm releases the drive to carry you over obstacles and adds significance to all you do.

Norman Vincent Peale

 

Enthusiam also keeps me running when my mind says stop but I know my body can go the distance.  This will be week 5 of my half marathon training and we are scheduled for 6.5 miles this Sat.  When I lose this weight - and I will - I will be a little faster so it won't take as long to go the longer miles.  At least that is what I am shooting for! 

MAKE it a great day!

Good days and bad and I'm not perfect.

Hey everybody! I had a not so good weekend but back on tract today. I ate out Sat. night and had meatballs and spaghetti AND dessert! The biggest problem with eating out for me is the sodium content! I can “gain” 5 pounds from eating out 1 time. I know it is just water weight from the sodium so I don’t let it get me down. And generally when I am not eating right, I am also not drinking enough water. I have found that water is a wonderful thing (even though I still don’t like it). If I drink a big glass before I eat, I will eat less. It makes me feel full. It also helps me with the swelling that I have from the too much sodium I usually get. I would love to say I drink around 8-10 glasses a day but that is not true. I generally do better during the week while at work. I have started drinking water when I eat out instead of a diet coke. I had a diet coke the other day, the first one in a long time, and it did not even taste good! I can’t say that I love water yet but I am learning to “like” it. Crystal Light has become my new BFF. I do drink a lot of crystal light! So that is better than no water at all. Not long ago the only water that touched my mouth was when I brushed my teeth.

I have not been able to blog every day. My life is just not that interesting. But I saw a picture that made me want to come here and blog today:

Thanks Motive Weight Website  for the pic today!!

I know that writing about my good days and bad days are helpful. I have diaries from way back that I have written in. It is interesting to go back and read them. One thing I need is accountability!! Knowing that people may read this blog helps me to stay honest. I only want to inspire others and hopefully I am able to do that. I know that my writing about the good AND bad will help others because we all have bad days. Every day is not good!

When I read about someone else’s day it helps me to realize that all is not lost. So I may have had a bad day! Just pick up and carry on. It’s not the end of the world. There used to be a time when a setback would keep me down and I would use that as an excuse to give up and succumb to the compulsive overeating monster!!! I would continue on that downward spiral until I had gained back all the weight PLUS some! Then would come the self-hatred and the loathing of myself, the depression and the negative self-talk. Today I don’t do that. I have become a much more positive person. I have realized that I am not and never will be perfect. I have also come to realize that I am not a quitter and having a bad day now and then will not stop me from reaching my goal. It may just take me longer but I WILL get there.

Yesterday was a good day. After the “not so good” weekend I picked back up yesterday with good eating habits and lots of water etc. Doing the things I know I should be doing. I worked out at the park with my friends and trainer. We ran/walked 3+ miles. It was nice. The weather was not too terribly hot as it was cloudy. At times there was a nice breeze blowing. It is so much fun to work out with friends and to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me. Before I know it, the time has past, the miles are done and we are finished! I have a hard time working out by myself. I will do it but it is so much more enjoyable to work out with friends.

Well, I guess I have rattled on enough for today. Oh….my Fitbit stats last week – pretty impressive. I forgot my Fitbit yesterday morning so my step count will be low for Monday but that’s ok. I know I was moving!

Week of June 11 – June 17
STEPS
Total: 56,655
Daily average steps: 8,094
Weekly best: 12, 920 steps

DISTANCE
Total distance: 24.05 miles
Daily average: 3.44
Weekly best: 5.33

FLOORS
Total floors climbed: 12
Daily average: 2
Weekly best: 11

CALORIES
Total calories burned: 13,949
Daily average: 1,993
Weekly best: 2,172

CALORIES IN VS OUT
Total in vs out: -3,001
Calories burned: 13,949
Calories eaten: 7,448 (this is not totally correct as some days I did not log ALL my food on My Fitness Pal  , which is a great website for keeping tract of calories by the way). 

WEIGHT
Lightest weight: 195.8
Heaviest weight: 196.4
Weight change: - 0.6 pounds

Most active day was Monday

Least active day was Sunday (looks like I need to move more on Sunday!!)

And this morning I started out with a 1 mile run on the home treadmill!  Yea me!!!  Have to pat myself on the back because I am NOT a morning person!!!

MAKE it a great day friends!!


~ Betty ~

Back in the saddle again...uh treadmill, I mean.

I have done well today my friends!  I have stayed under my calorie goal and I want to the gym and ran 1.91 miles and walked another mile.  Felt great as always.  My time is slower because I am not in as good of shape as I used to be.  I am not logging near as many miles but I intend to step it up some.  My second job at night when I get home from my "real" job is keeping me so busy  that it is  hard to find the time to run but we are trying to get our bills paid off and hopefully one day I can stay at home and play with all these grand kids we are having.  That's my idea of fun!!  Plus a few races here and there too, of course!!

It has been unbelievably hot here and when I do get the change to run I am been doing it on the treadmill and we all know that is not the same as running outside but it sure beats sitting on the couch.  I know if I would go to bed earlier, I could get up earlier and exercise in the morning time.  That is my plan tonight.  I am going to go to bed in a few minutes, around 8 pm hopefully,  and try my best to get up at 5 am and exercise on my treadmill here at the house.  I have said this a thousand times and have only done it a few times.  But it is hard to get up early when I don't get in the bed before 11 or 12 at night.  My schedule is kind of hectic.  But tonight is a free night and on top of that, we got off work an hour early and I had only  a few x-rays to type when I got home instead of the usual 30-40.  So I am going to take advantage of this night.  And I have my treadmill set up and ready to go.   So we'll see.

Say a prayer for me and I hope you all have a great evening.

Here's some motivation for you....

Just do it and git er done!

I watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition tonight.  This episode really got me motivated.  I began to realize that I have been making excuses about not having time for exercise  but that is all it is - excuses.  This man on this episode, James, lost 300 pounds in a year.  Now, I'm not trying to lose 300 pounds and I don't need to lose it fast but - I do need to lose some. This gaining and losing the same 5-10 pounds is not getting me anywhere.   Yes, I have blogged about this before so I won't got into great detail about it again.  Just suffice to say that I really want THIS TIME to be it!

I have done well keeping off the 40 more or less pounds I have lost but I still have 50 more to go.  I am not making any headway at this rate.  I have been keeping up with my weight loss almost on a daily basis since 2005.  Here is the rundown:

2005 - lost 22 pounds
2006 - lost 16 pounds
2007 - lost 12.5 pounds
2008 - lost 6 pounds
2009 - lost 2 pounds
2010 - lost 23.8
2011 - lost 4. 9 so far

But I have gained some of that back by doing all this yo-yoing back and forth.  I know that this is a lifestyle change and I know I can do it but I am choosing not too on most days.  Why do I self sabotage my progress?  I won't go into all the psychobabble about that but I will say that I am re-committing myself to this plan.  I know what to do, I just need to do it.  In fact - I am going to go to bed earlier than usual so I can get up and run in the morning. Will be my first run in about 6 weeks!  well, outside anyway. I have been on the treadmill one time.  I have everything I need all laid out, I am off work tomorrow so I have no excuse.  To heck with what people think about me running.  If that 400 pound man can get out there and run, this 200 pound woman can too!  Besides, all that mumbo jumbo about caring what others think of me while I am running is just that - mumbo jumbo!  It's all in my head anyway.  I am not that important, that anyone would pause to give me a second look, much less a thought, when they see me running anyway.  They barely look my way twice.

When James, the man in the weight loss show, got back home, his entertainment center was gone - no tv and no video games.  They were replaced by exercise equipment.  It was then that I realized how much precious time I spend in front of the tv watching things I recorded earlier when I could be exercising.  I was thinking, I stay up too late to get up early to exercise. Why??  Because I am sitting on my duff watching tv.  duh!!!  This has to stop.  I have begun to ask myself - will this help or hinder my weight loss?"  That is how I will make my decisions from now on.  I am a  medical transcriptionist and I type all day long at my job and then type for my second job when I get home.  If I could lose weight by exercising my fingers I would be plum skinny!!!  But all that sitting down is not good for me.  So the more I can move at home the better it will be.

I have a quote in front of me right now and it says, "Every food choice we make either moves us closer to, or away from, our weight loss goals."  How true is that!!!  That should be my mantra.  Ok, now maybe I'm rambling.

I don't know much, but one thing I do know - quitters never win!  So I will continue on this journey every day until I get it done.  It might take me a while, but I will git er done!!!

Thanks for reading friends and have a great night.  I am going to git er done!! How about you?
Betty

Day 26 - Where has my "mojo" gone and negative self talk.

Today is day 26 on my healthy eating program.  I started out strong. But I seem to have fallen back into the old "lose 1, gain 2" scenario.  I don't understand why I can do so well for a few days and then mess up. I think it all started with the pizza last Thursday.  I have been trying to NOT eat friend foods because they don't like me and I like them TOO MUCH!  I justified the pizza by saying that I had included two pieces in my calorie count so it was okay.  But I didn't stop at two pieces,which I  never do when I eat pizza. (Duh!! Anyone know the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.)  That should be my mantra because that is what I do!  Oh well, I will stop complaining, pick myself and start over.  I did not actually fall, so to speak.  I did not revert back to my compulsive way of eating.  I did eat over my calorie amount and that I am not proud of.  You can't lose weight by doing that.  AND.... I have not been exercising at all!  I have got to get back into the  swing of things.  I always feel so much better when I exercise.  I decided tonight that I would do anything, something so I walked a mile with my dog, Lillie.  And I enjoyed it.  I seem to have the "all or nothing" mid set. I think if I can't do my usual 3 mile run, I won't do anything.  But tonight I did a 1 mile WALK and I felt great.  

I have a 5K coming up on July 4th.  I signed up to run but I might walk it since I have not been running much lately.  I am saddened by the fact that I have no one to run with.  I really hate to run by myself and I guess that is why I have not been out there lately.  I feel too self conscious out there by myself.  I had gotten over that but I have begun to let little negative thoughts creep back in like, "people will laugh when they see me running"  etc.  I know some of you may think this is crazy since I have completed numerous 5Ks, 10Ks and three half marathons but I still let the old me slip back in sometimes.  I know that I am no where near skinny and I still have 50+ pounds to lose. 

You know what's funny????  As I sit here writing this - I am telling myself, "so what??"  " who cares what others think?"  "Just get out there and do it!"  At least you are doing something and not sitting on the couch stuffing my face like I used too. It they talk about me, it's because they are probably jealous. And I won't know if they talk about me anyway...how many time has someone yelled something not nice at me while I was running???? NEVER. NOT ONCE!  So all of this is just in my mind.  

I heard once that "my own worst enemy is me!"  Maybe that is true.  If so, I know what to do about that!  

Here's to getting off my duff and getting my running mojo back!  

Have a great night friends!

Betty

Day 7 - Biggest Loser Workout and the running blues

Day 7

Stats

Calories Out  2664
Calories In  1719
Calorie Deficit 945
Steps 8968

Today was great.  I felt a bit more tempted today and had to do a lot of "mental" work to keep from messing up!  But I did it.

I passed on the usual fast food breakfast that is brought to Sunday School.  Yippee!

I ate my usual snack at 10:00, a good lunch at noon, snack at 3 and dinner around 6:00.  Didn't eat out today.  In checking my calorie burn this evening I still had almost 500 calories left to get to my goal so I got out Biggest Loser workout DVDs i had just gotten.  Did a 2 mile walk for 30 minutes and a 25 minute Cardio Max Weight-Loss workout.  I am really out of shape!!

It is weird that my calorie burn was so much higher yesterday considering I did not exercise at all.  You would think the burn would be more today.  My steps were more today of course.  But at any rate, if I have lost weight tomorrow when I weigh I won't worry about it.

ha ha.. I just check my bodybugg again and I burned 14 calories while writing this blog.    By the time I go to bed my calorie burn for today will be more I am sure.   Maybe I should load my stats in the morning that way I will get the whole day's worth on there.  Because I know I will keep burning calories after I type this and until I go to bed, and a few while sleeping .

As I am sitting here writing this, my stomach is starting to growl!?!?  How in the world could I be hungry.  I might need to eat something else.  I have room to do so with a 900 calorie deficit.

I may start updating in the morning time to get a more accurate account.  :)

I really need to get back out there with my running.  I have not run since the first week of May!  I have promised to run a 5K with my son on July 4th and it will be tough and hot, especially if I don't start running some!  I am not really motivated to run but I know how great it makes me feel.  When we went out to eat last night we went to a restaurant that is on one of our most traveled running routes and as i looked at the road I realized....I miss my running.  I really do.  I have got to get back out there.  It's hard starting but I feel so good after a few miles of running. I  guess I need to learn to enjoy running by myself since I have no one to run with.  I will just have to suck it up and get out there!!  But if I think about HOW GOOD it makes me feel afterwards, that will make it easier to get out there.

I thought about getting a bigger dog to have someone to run with but after bathing one small dog and one medium dog today....I don't think I can handle a big dog!!

Am I  nervous about my weight in tomorrow??
No, of course not!!

I hope I have something good to report.  If not, I will report anyway, because that's the kind of girl I am.  Lying or not letting you guys know how I am really doing won't help me at all.  I plan to report the good, the bad, and the ugly.  So get ready people!

Until tomorrow,
MAKE it a great day!
Betty

Day 5 is in the bag, and not the fast food bag either.

I am sitting here reflecting back on my day and thinking about how good this whole week has been.  I feel so much better from NOT eating all that fried fast food.  I went into the kitchen at work to make the coffee and check to see if it needing cleaning and what did appear before my eyes?????  Only a box of the BEST donuts and donut holes in the world!!  I walked right past them and got my crystal light drink and made a bee-line back to my desk!  Yesterday it was HUGE blueberry muffins and scones but I have been able to refrain from all of them.  What is wrong with me??  ha ha.  Whatever it is,  I hope it lasts.  I am eating my final food of the day, a Jello fruit cup and fat free cool whip and it only has 30 calories total.  Cool!!

My husband asked if I wanted to go out and eat and I thought, oh no! Can I do this?  I am not sure I can eat out and make healthy choices.  I hope to be able to one day soon!  I even passed on eating at Doe's (an awesome world famous steak house we have here) the other night.   But he asked me where I wanted to go and I said Subway and for once he did not make a face. How sweet is that!  I got the orchard chicken salad 6 inch with 9 grain wheat.  It was as good as it looks too!  I had been eyeballing it for a while so I finally decided to get it.  Of course I looked up the calories before I went just to make sure it wasn't horribly bad.  Now the sodium...that's another story.  But right now I am focusing on calories.

Day 5 is in the bag, no, not the fast food bag either, (he he) and I'm still hanging in there.  And it feels GOOD!  I even went and bought an outfit today and I hate doing that because I hate trying clothes on.  But I was able to get an 18 pants and XL shirt.  I remember when I wore size 22 pants and 1-2X shirt!  A few more pounds and I will be able to get in a 16 in some things.

I am going to weigh on Mondays and will report it here for all the world to see - talking about having someone to hold me accountable!!!  That's a lot of someones isn't it?  But I am dead serious this time and I want all the help I can get.  So if you read this and want to comment, please do so.  I would love to hear from you and if you have any tips for me I would love that too!

I believe this journey is going to be fun and you are welcome to travel along with me, comment me, offer me advice and tips, pray for me, whatever you have that you would like to share with this 54 year old,  soon-to-be, FORMER OVERWEIGHT person.  Yes, I can say FORMER because I mean business this time friends.  Won't you join me?  We can help each other along the wonderful journey to a healthy weight.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Almost forget my stats:
Calories Out 2,378 (this calorie burn is blowing my mind!)
Calories In 1,372
Calorie Deficit -1,006.

I am trying to keep a 500 calorie deficit per day but if I get more, that is great.  I am not going to run into the kitchen and eat something when I am not hungry just to bring my deficit down to 500.  :)

MAKE it a great day,
Betty

Day 4.

Wow!  Day 4 of abstinence has been awesome.  It's like God has removed my obsession for the kinds of food I don't need.  I simply don't want them anymore.  I hope this feeling lasts ...and lasts....and lasts....like... for my whole lifetime!!  Woohoo!!   This is how I feel today!!!

Today started out kind of slippery because we had a major storm and our electricity was out at work.  My "mind" went to thinking and my first thought was, I can eat, but it wasn't time for my 10 am snack yet.  So I told myself, I said, "self, you do not need to eat right now.  Wait for your scheduled time, stick to your eating plan, you can do it!"  And it worked!  I have not overeaten today and I have not eating anything that I should not have.  

I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting, which is a 12-step meeting for any and all kinds of addictions, hurts, habits and hangups, and when they were finished giving out chips, I though, I should have gotten a 24 hour chip for starting over so when the lesson was finished I asked for one and told everyone I was a compulsive overeater.  It feels good to acknowledge out loud what I struggle with.  Once I name it and claim it, I can do something about it.  And I plan to do just that.  One Day At A Time!

I am loving this bodybugg but sometimes I find it hard to believe the calories I am burning. Today I did not exercise.  I only did my usual things with maybe a bit more walking.  And my bodybugg says I burned 2,759 calories.  I must have been eating a lot to be gaining weight while burning that many calories.  But we will see if I lose weight.  I bet you I was eating 3,000 calories a day or more!!!

I am trying for at least a 500 calorie deficit each day so I should lose a pound a week.  I would love to lose it fast like the ones on my favorite show, The Biggest Loser,  but that is not possible and I know that.  Slow and steady will get me where I need and want to be.  And if have a little step back I will counteract that with 2 steps forward.

Today, I really believe I am going to do this.  And I pray this will be the last time!  I really feel I am ready and willing to do that it takes and as my husband says all the time, "time will tell".

At our Celebrate Recovery meeting we have pizza every Thursday night.  I have such as hard time not eating any of that.  But I made a plan to go to  Subway today
and eat healthy.  As I was checking out, I was eyeballing the cookies and looking for my favorite one.  I finally found it!  And I had a mental fight going on inside my head.  "I can eat just one cookie.  I have enough calories left, I can eat one. Ok, order one.  No!  Wait!  Do I really want to spend 350 calories on just ONE SINGLE COOKIE???  Heck NO!!"  So I did not order that cookie.  Did you hear me people???  I did NOT order that cookie.  A MAJOR victory for me.  It may sound small to some of you but it is a MAJOR victory for me.  I was pound of myself so I shared that little story with all my friends on facebook and my recovery friends and especially my friends at OA.  I want everyone to know  that they can do it too!  It is possible...it really is.  You just have to want it bad enough.  Today, I want it and I want it bad!  So here's to another day of abstinence!

Thank you Sean Anderson for your blog.  It has really inspired me!  If you can do it.....I can do it!!  Until tomorrow.....

MAKE it a great day my friends,
Betty

So I went into the kitchen at work, right?  Should have know better but since I am on "kitchen duty" for the entire month of May, I have to go in there on occasion as I have to clean the kitchen, make the morning coffee, start the dishwasher at day's end...etc....thank goodness there are enough people here that we only have this "duty" once a year or so.  I will be glad when mine is over!!! 

There were donuts there and a few other things.  I came out of that kitchen stuffed to the gill!!! I had no mental defense against it this morning.  Considering I missed my OA meeting last night, even for a good reason, I can understand why this happened.  I need a meeting once a day seems like.  That is what I did when I first got into recovery for my alcohol addiction and that worked really well for me.  But in all actualitym, I know what to do but once again I am CHOOSING  not to do it.  I really don't believe I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, or else I would stop this insanity!!!! I don't  know what it is going to take.  I guess being miserable doesn't feel so bad after all and if I wallow in it enough, it might even become comfortable...or maybe I am already there.  Maybe that is my problem.  Maybe I am comfortable being miserable.  I am been there off and on for my entire life. 

All I can say is, I won't give up, I won't quit.  I will perservere and strive to have good days as best I can. 

This food addiction or compulsive overeating, or whatever you want to call it, is extremely difficult to manage. I don't have to use drugs or alcohol to live every day but I HAVE to eat.  I can't completely abstain from food like I can other things.  That makes it very very hard!!!! 

I have also been working two jobs and have been extremely busy and have found myself not getting enough sleep and feeling stressed.  That is not good for recovery either. 

But enough complaining.  I am going to MAKE this a great day from this moment forward and start fresh!!!

Hope you all MAKE it a great day as well.  :)

Tired but I wont quit......

I have been getting up @ 5 this week to exercise. Just need to try & get 2 bed early some nights. I am struggling with my motivation for my weight loss. But I know if I were to lose more weight I could run faster! That is not my main reason for losing weight. I want 2 be healthy. I have lost 8 pounds this time around.

I have bought a bodybugg and am loving it. But I need to be more consistent about entering the food I eat. I know I can this! I WILL do this!

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OMG! After seeing this - I will lose weight!

The last 5K I participated in provided us with a complimentary video of our finish! They should have deleted mine!!! At first look I was shocked. I was wondering if I really look like that when I run. But it was me!!!


My first thought was to never run again. I looked liked a big blob of fat bouncing up and down. So after berating myself and telling myself I will never run again I quit looking and got busy doing something else. I did sent it to my son to look at. I knew he might not laugh too long and maybe not out loud either. :)

After talking to him about it I decided to use this video as a learning experience. Once I get down to my weight loss goal I can use this as a "before" video. And in the meantime I will use it for motivation! It definitely motivates me to lose this weight! I could not get it downloaded to my computer but I don't think I would put it on here anyway (unless someone was having a horrific day and really needed a good laugh). My daughter is in the video and comes in right in front of me so I could lie and tell everyone that is me and I don't know who the fat chick behind her is...he he.!!!

I must remember how far I have come and the progress I have made. Yes - I have a ways to go and thats okay for now. I won't let what others think of me stop me and I won't let ME stop ME from doing what I know I need to do! Often times I am my own worse enemy! I am trying to love myself today and every day during this journey and on some days that is harder than others. But - like I told someone the other day - I AM moving and NOT SITTING on the cough like I used to. Any progress is good. Not so long ago I would NEVER have run in front of anyone much less compete in a race. Yes - I have come a long way. And I am not stopping now.

What I did after C25K (November 3, 2009)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009 Someone asked what I did after my C25K. I had joined the Y and was doing the C25K on the treadmill there. I saw an advertisement at the Y that offered a class that would "teach" me to run using the Jeff Galloway Training Clinic. I had seen that same advertisement a year or so ago but was too scared to go. This time I went. I joined the group and we began meeting for runs on the weekend and also getting "assignments" for what to do during the week plus lots of motivation and running tips from our fearless leader, Phillip. I was hooked from the get-go!! I was at first really self consciousness about my weight and how I looked when I ran but I am slowly getting over that. I still find it hard to run in broad daylight some afternoons even though I need to because I have an even harder time getting up to run in the morning time! But I made a decision that I would not quit no matter what and so far I haven't. I trained for the YMCA Cotton Classic 5k walk/10K run and when time came for the race I chickened out on the 10K and did the 5K walk. But that was a learning experience in itself. So many walkers were running. I was told if I was a walker I could not run but if I was a runner I could walk so I had wished I had signed up for the 10K but again fear got the best of me. So here I am 9 months later, after doing 5Ks, one 10K and, believe it or not, I am signed up for the ST. Jude Memphis Half Marathon on December 5th. (I can't hardly believe it either!) But I am having the time of my life. I have not lost any weight since I started running which was surprising to me at first but I never changed my eating habits either. I am having a hard time learning how to eat in order to run well but at the same time eating in order to lose some weight. So I have decided after the St. Jude Half I will concentrate on my weight loss and participate in a few races along the way but nothing major. I watched the New York Marathon and it really got me excited. I began to think I would like to do the New York Half. I really would. Maybe that will be a goal for me in the future. The problem would not be running the half but getting the funds to get me to New York in the first place. I have always wanted to visit there. But I will keep that in the back of my mind for now. I won't count it out! If your YMCA offers the Galloway Training Clinic you should check it out. I absolutely love it. I know I would not be where I am today without it (Thanks to our fearless leader, Phillip, as well). I never knew you could run/walk if you needed to. As long as I can do that I am okay. One day I want to be able to just run mainly but I will work on that when I have lost more weight. In the meantime, I may still be overweight but I feel better than I have in years. And I know if I keep it up, the weight will come off...just like everything else in my life....ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Unmotivated!

Wednesday, September 09, 2009 Man! I am so unmotivated this week. I have set my alarm two days straight to get up and run and did not do it. What's up with that? But I am not stressing. It never hurts to take a break. Just don't want it to turn into a daily thing. I wanted to run last night but talked myself out of it because it was already dark. Hard to find a safe place to run these days. I could take my Lillie Bell but at 9 pounds I don't believe she would scare anyone. ha ha MAKE it a great day everyone!

Back on Track Again (September 17, 2008)

I am getting my motivation back. I finally talked my husband in letting us joine the Y. I have been three times so far and feel great. My husband is going too and that gives me great joy as he is extremely overweight! He has not changed his eating habits yet but we must do one thing at a time. :) Of course knowing that BL is coming back on didn't hurt either. (ha). I know I can do this. I have just had a minor setback where I have chosen to do what I wanted to do and not what was best for me. I am glad to know that I still have the "want to" and I am monitoring my weight. I know I have gained some back. In the past I would just avoid the scale alltogether and then pretend shock when I would weigh and see all the pounds I had gained. I truly don't ever want to go back to the old me. And I could feel that happening...especially in my tight jeans! I am glad I have spark people to come to. It makes it so easy to keep track of my food and exercise. And what a joy to be able to share with others who struggle with the same issues. Life is good and I won't let it get me down. :)

Once a Junkie Always a Junkie?? (June 18, 2008)

Ok! I am going to step back and refocus. I finally swallowed my pride and change my weight to reflect the FIVE pounds I have GAINED BACK!!!!! That brings my total to 40 pounds lost when just not too long ago it was 60 pounds lost! Of course constantly having to battle chronic bronchitis and sinusitis is not helping either. I know from past experience that the one thing that has helped me more than anything this time was the exercise - which I have slacked off on. Does NONE ring a bell???? I am so compulsive. It is like I want to lose it all in one month and then when I do exercise I usually do too much or not enough. I am trying to convince myself that ANY is good. I get on the treadmill and want to do an hour or more then the next day I tell myself - I don't have time. But surely I could slip in 20-30 minutes somewhere in my day! As I have said may times - it is just a matter of me doing it! Why can't I stay motivated though??? I do good for a month or so and then revert right back to my old eating patterns. (I am a fast food junkie, a diet coke junkie, a chocolate junkie, a caffeine junkie and one always leads to many more. I know that! I know that! I know that! (I am trying to convince myself that I know that -ha) Well here goes - one more time!!!!