It Will All Be Worth It!

Was reading my last post titled "This OA way is working" and I realized that OA does work IF I WORK IT! And I have not been working it lately. I began working out with a trainer and was doing well but we had a 2 week hiatus and I let some old habits slip back in. What a minute - what am I saying??? I did not let anything "slip" in! I knew what I was doing when I was doing it! I wanted that food and I ate it. For a while my healthy eating plan went out the window and I ate all the things I said I wouldn't and all the things that are not good for me. I think it all started wtih some candy and went downhill from there. But irregardless of the reason I DO see the pattern and am putting a stop to it right here and now. A friend has recently started his weight loss journey and writing about it on his blog and he has inspired me to keep on keeping on. Yes, some days it is extremely hard and some days are easy but either way - IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT - that much I do know!

Day 5 is in the bag, and not the fast food bag either.

I am sitting here reflecting back on my day and thinking about how good this whole week has been.  I feel so much better from NOT eating all that fried fast food.  I went into the kitchen at work to make the coffee and check to see if it needing cleaning and what did appear before my eyes?????  Only a box of the BEST donuts and donut holes in the world!!  I walked right past them and got my crystal light drink and made a bee-line back to my desk!  Yesterday it was HUGE blueberry muffins and scones but I have been able to refrain from all of them.  What is wrong with me??  ha ha.  Whatever it is,  I hope it lasts.  I am eating my final food of the day, a Jello fruit cup and fat free cool whip and it only has 30 calories total.  Cool!!

My husband asked if I wanted to go out and eat and I thought, oh no! Can I do this?  I am not sure I can eat out and make healthy choices.  I hope to be able to one day soon!  I even passed on eating at Doe's (an awesome world famous steak house we have here) the other night.   But he asked me where I wanted to go and I said Subway and for once he did not make a face. How sweet is that!  I got the orchard chicken salad 6 inch with 9 grain wheat.  It was as good as it looks too!  I had been eyeballing it for a while so I finally decided to get it.  Of course I looked up the calories before I went just to make sure it wasn't horribly bad.  Now the sodium...that's another story.  But right now I am focusing on calories.

Day 5 is in the bag, no, not the fast food bag either, (he he) and I'm still hanging in there.  And it feels GOOD!  I even went and bought an outfit today and I hate doing that because I hate trying clothes on.  But I was able to get an 18 pants and XL shirt.  I remember when I wore size 22 pants and 1-2X shirt!  A few more pounds and I will be able to get in a 16 in some things.

I am going to weigh on Mondays and will report it here for all the world to see - talking about having someone to hold me accountable!!!  That's a lot of someones isn't it?  But I am dead serious this time and I want all the help I can get.  So if you read this and want to comment, please do so.  I would love to hear from you and if you have any tips for me I would love that too!

I believe this journey is going to be fun and you are welcome to travel along with me, comment me, offer me advice and tips, pray for me, whatever you have that you would like to share with this 54 year old,  soon-to-be, FORMER OVERWEIGHT person.  Yes, I can say FORMER because I mean business this time friends.  Won't you join me?  We can help each other along the wonderful journey to a healthy weight.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Almost forget my stats:
Calories Out 2,378 (this calorie burn is blowing my mind!)
Calories In 1,372
Calorie Deficit -1,006.

I am trying to keep a 500 calorie deficit per day but if I get more, that is great.  I am not going to run into the kitchen and eat something when I am not hungry just to bring my deficit down to 500.  :)

MAKE it a great day,
Betty

Day 4.

Wow!  Day 4 of abstinence has been awesome.  It's like God has removed my obsession for the kinds of food I don't need.  I simply don't want them anymore.  I hope this feeling lasts ...and lasts....and lasts....like... for my whole lifetime!!  Woohoo!!   This is how I feel today!!!

Today started out kind of slippery because we had a major storm and our electricity was out at work.  My "mind" went to thinking and my first thought was, I can eat, but it wasn't time for my 10 am snack yet.  So I told myself, I said, "self, you do not need to eat right now.  Wait for your scheduled time, stick to your eating plan, you can do it!"  And it worked!  I have not overeaten today and I have not eating anything that I should not have.  

I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting, which is a 12-step meeting for any and all kinds of addictions, hurts, habits and hangups, and when they were finished giving out chips, I though, I should have gotten a 24 hour chip for starting over so when the lesson was finished I asked for one and told everyone I was a compulsive overeater.  It feels good to acknowledge out loud what I struggle with.  Once I name it and claim it, I can do something about it.  And I plan to do just that.  One Day At A Time!

I am loving this bodybugg but sometimes I find it hard to believe the calories I am burning. Today I did not exercise.  I only did my usual things with maybe a bit more walking.  And my bodybugg says I burned 2,759 calories.  I must have been eating a lot to be gaining weight while burning that many calories.  But we will see if I lose weight.  I bet you I was eating 3,000 calories a day or more!!!

I am trying for at least a 500 calorie deficit each day so I should lose a pound a week.  I would love to lose it fast like the ones on my favorite show, The Biggest Loser,  but that is not possible and I know that.  Slow and steady will get me where I need and want to be.  And if have a little step back I will counteract that with 2 steps forward.

Today, I really believe I am going to do this.  And I pray this will be the last time!  I really feel I am ready and willing to do that it takes and as my husband says all the time, "time will tell".

At our Celebrate Recovery meeting we have pizza every Thursday night.  I have such as hard time not eating any of that.  But I made a plan to go to  Subway today
and eat healthy.  As I was checking out, I was eyeballing the cookies and looking for my favorite one.  I finally found it!  And I had a mental fight going on inside my head.  "I can eat just one cookie.  I have enough calories left, I can eat one. Ok, order one.  No!  Wait!  Do I really want to spend 350 calories on just ONE SINGLE COOKIE???  Heck NO!!"  So I did not order that cookie.  Did you hear me people???  I did NOT order that cookie.  A MAJOR victory for me.  It may sound small to some of you but it is a MAJOR victory for me.  I was pound of myself so I shared that little story with all my friends on facebook and my recovery friends and especially my friends at OA.  I want everyone to know  that they can do it too!  It is possible...it really is.  You just have to want it bad enough.  Today, I want it and I want it bad!  So here's to another day of abstinence!

Thank you Sean Anderson for your blog.  It has really inspired me!  If you can do it.....I can do it!!  Until tomorrow.....

MAKE it a great day my friends,
Betty

Had a great OA meeting last night. Today I texted my OA friends and told them I was committing my abstinence to them and they should text me back at the end of the day and see how I did! And............drum roll please........I did great! I stayed abstinent and within calorie range.  

Did a 3 mile run and did my best time for not being in a race; 40:25 minutes. I ran/walked 30:45 instead of my usual 1:1 so maybe that helped with my time. Sat. was my 19th sobriety birthday (no drugs or alcohol in 19 years) so on the way home from my run my husband called and said he wanted to take me out to eat. Yikes!! But I was prepared. I texted by friends again and told them I was going out to eat and to pray for me!! We went to our favorite Italian rest which is owned by friends of ours. My hubby told them it was my sobriety birthday so they brought me bread pudding for my birthday!!! Oh no!! I had one bite and then had her put in a to go box. I am proud of myself, I did pretty good! 

- I did not get appetizer. 
- I did not eat the bread they put on table. 
- I ordered grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side. 
- Ate one bite of bread pudding dessert and threw the rest away as I was leaving because I knew if I took it home I would eat it!!! 

And of course my OA friends texted me and asked how it went and I could give them a good report that I was proud of! 

    

But I must remember - ONE DAY AT A TIME. Now, lets do the same thing tomorrow!!!