Still here! St. Jude Half this Saturday

I am still here.  Just not happy with myself right now.  I have gained some weight and am finding it hard to lose.   I have been focusing on my running and maybe I need to focus on the weight loss.  The running is a lot harder when I gain weight of course.

I have my fourth St. Jude Half Marathon this Saturday and I hope it won't be too hard since I am a little heavier than before.  You would think with three HMs coming up I would be more health conscious but that is not what is happening I am afraid.  This compulsive overeating is about to get the best of me.  And it doesn't help that I live with a compulsive over eater  that is in severe denial as well!  But I can't blame him.  I make my own choices and I can chose to do right even when he doesn't.  So far that is NOT what I have done!!!

I can't seem to find any consistency with my healthy eating and my weight loss.  I do okay for a while then revert back to my unhealthy habits.  I don't know what I need to do.

• Get real?  
• Get serious?
• Get drunk???? (just kidding - not gonna throw away 21 years of sobriety over this food issue)

Sometimes life stinks and sometimes it is great!  I can't always have it perfect.  

• I have not been running much. 
• I have not been eating healthy.
• I have not been going to my OA meetings.
• I have not been going to my AA meetings.  

I have only been working, working, working.  And my job is sometimes very stressful!  Well, enough of the excuses.  I won't do anything about anything until I get sick and tired of being sick and tired.  That much I  know!!!

But I am EXCITED about my half marathon this Saturday.  My time will probably suck but I WILL FINISH. 

All I want to do is cross that finish line -  

1. Standing up
2. With a smile on my face
3. And wanting to do it all again!!!  

Until next time friends! 

Have a wonderful night!

DAY 2, MYFITNESSPAL.COM AND FITBIT

This is going to be short and sweet because I just got home from the gym after my grueling workout and I am sore.  It is 8:57 and I still have lots of typing to get done. :)

I did well today on my food.  Around 10 am I walk into the kitchen at work for my snack and this is what I saw: 

But I DID NOT EAT ANY!  I really did not even want them.  I told myself I did not want them, I got what I came to the kitchen for and I did not linger.  And not but  1 time did I even think about them.  Usually that is ALL I THINK ABOUT if I know they are in the kitchen.  Ya for me!!

Calories today 1,225.  

Exercise 

• 1.5 mile walk at lunch. 

At the gym: 

• 1 slow lap around the gym.
• 2 fast laps around the gym.
• Lots of floor exercises, jumping jacks, lungs etc.  
• Biceps curl machine - 3 sets of 12 @ 30 pounds.  
• Chest press machine - 3 sets of 12 # 15 pounds.
• Ab machine - 77 reps in 2 minutes.  
• Exercise with a 10 pound ball.
• Arm exercises with free weights.  

I can't name all of the things we did.  We spent 1 hour and 15 minutes in the gym and my body is feeling it!!!!

I took some Advil because I know I might be a little sore in the morning. This is our last "official" workout with trainer this week.  

I might be going to visit my grandson and I must remember to eat well and exercise while there.  I tend to "let go" when I am at their house but I will make an effect to eat right this time.   

I feel well and confident that I can do this thing - this time!!  

I did get extremely hungry at work but I decided to forego my snack and wait till supper.  I am counting calories and did not want to go over.  

Another little tool I am using is  this website for calorie counting .  They also have an app that I use. I love it because I can just scan the bar code for all of my food and it is entered in.  It is so easy to use and not time consuming like some of the other I have used.  

I am also using the Fitbit.  I love this little tool.  It is like a pedometer but a whole lot more.  It counts may steps, my calories burned, any flights of stair I might climb.  It is a really cool little tool.  It  is small and clips onto my pants at the waist or I can even just carry it in  my pocket. I LOVE IT.   It is so bad that I almost have to come back home if I forget it when I leave for work!  Here is a pic.  

So here are my stats for my Fitbit today:

10,906 steps

4.57 total miles traveled 

2,245 calories burned

I don't rely too heavily on the calories burned on this but that does include my TOTAL calories for the WHOLE DAY and not just when I was exercising.  Believe it or not, we burn calories just by breathing but not too many.  :)

So there you have it.  All in all, today was a good day.  I am sure not all days will be this good but I will enjoy them while I can.  

Maybe this wasn't so short after all.  At any rate, I must get back to work.  Please continue to pray for me and if you stop by and read my blog please leave me some love (encouragement).  I need all the help I can get.  

Today's quote is from Jillian Michaels:

Why are you choosing failure when success is still an option?  

It's time for a change.....

Betty 

AMAZING THINGS CAN HAPPEN

Wow!  Yesterday was really great!  My stats were:

14,578 steps
20 floors climbed
6.81 miles traveled
2,243 calories burned
1,546 calories eaten

I have lost 5 pounds in the past month.  I know to some that will sound like a slow job but it's okay with me!  A loss is a loss!!  It is SO much better than a gain!!

My OA meeting was great.  There were only two of us there though. We read from the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous.  It's funny how you can read something that you have read before and see it in an entirely different way.  Cool!!

I have lost a total of 16 pounds this year.  For the first couple of months I was yo-yo-ing back and forth but I believe I have broken my plateau.  My workout tonight with trainer and friends was awesome!  We walked/ran/jumping jacked and steam engined our way through 2 miles.  It was hot but we did it!  We would walk a little bit and then run a short sprint for as fast as we could.  It was a heart pumping workout alright!!!!  In between the runs and walks we did jumping jacks, steam engines, get-ups, etc.  Tomorrow we are going to bring our mats and work out on our abs some.  My trainer likes to workout outdoors.  And that is fine with me.  The hotter it is, the more calories I can burn, and I might get a tan too.  Although  I do wear sunscreen. After our workout today I came home and cleaned out the pool, swept off the patio, since Major had mowed the yard and made a mess, but I didn't complain because every step was more calories burned.  I am learning to like NOT sitting on the couch and watching TV from when I get home from work till bedtime. I spend enough time sitting at my job all day and then my second job at home at night typing.  We will be working out tomorrow again in the park.

I am determined this time to really do this deal!!!  Nothing can stop me but me!!!  And this time I want to succeed.

MAKE it a great day friends, 

Betty 

Good days and bad and I'm not perfect.

Hey everybody! I had a not so good weekend but back on tract today. I ate out Sat. night and had meatballs and spaghetti AND dessert! The biggest problem with eating out for me is the sodium content! I can “gain” 5 pounds from eating out 1 time. I know it is just water weight from the sodium so I don’t let it get me down. And generally when I am not eating right, I am also not drinking enough water. I have found that water is a wonderful thing (even though I still don’t like it). If I drink a big glass before I eat, I will eat less. It makes me feel full. It also helps me with the swelling that I have from the too much sodium I usually get. I would love to say I drink around 8-10 glasses a day but that is not true. I generally do better during the week while at work. I have started drinking water when I eat out instead of a diet coke. I had a diet coke the other day, the first one in a long time, and it did not even taste good! I can’t say that I love water yet but I am learning to “like” it. Crystal Light has become my new BFF. I do drink a lot of crystal light! So that is better than no water at all. Not long ago the only water that touched my mouth was when I brushed my teeth.

I have not been able to blog every day. My life is just not that interesting. But I saw a picture that made me want to come here and blog today:

Thanks Motive Weight Website  for the pic today!!

I know that writing about my good days and bad days are helpful. I have diaries from way back that I have written in. It is interesting to go back and read them. One thing I need is accountability!! Knowing that people may read this blog helps me to stay honest. I only want to inspire others and hopefully I am able to do that. I know that my writing about the good AND bad will help others because we all have bad days. Every day is not good!

When I read about someone else’s day it helps me to realize that all is not lost. So I may have had a bad day! Just pick up and carry on. It’s not the end of the world. There used to be a time when a setback would keep me down and I would use that as an excuse to give up and succumb to the compulsive overeating monster!!! I would continue on that downward spiral until I had gained back all the weight PLUS some! Then would come the self-hatred and the loathing of myself, the depression and the negative self-talk. Today I don’t do that. I have become a much more positive person. I have realized that I am not and never will be perfect. I have also come to realize that I am not a quitter and having a bad day now and then will not stop me from reaching my goal. It may just take me longer but I WILL get there.

Yesterday was a good day. After the “not so good” weekend I picked back up yesterday with good eating habits and lots of water etc. Doing the things I know I should be doing. I worked out at the park with my friends and trainer. We ran/walked 3+ miles. It was nice. The weather was not too terribly hot as it was cloudy. At times there was a nice breeze blowing. It is so much fun to work out with friends and to be able to encourage them and have them encourage me. Before I know it, the time has past, the miles are done and we are finished! I have a hard time working out by myself. I will do it but it is so much more enjoyable to work out with friends.

Well, I guess I have rattled on enough for today. Oh….my Fitbit stats last week – pretty impressive. I forgot my Fitbit yesterday morning so my step count will be low for Monday but that’s ok. I know I was moving!

Week of June 11 – June 17
STEPS
Total: 56,655
Daily average steps: 8,094
Weekly best: 12, 920 steps

DISTANCE
Total distance: 24.05 miles
Daily average: 3.44
Weekly best: 5.33

FLOORS
Total floors climbed: 12
Daily average: 2
Weekly best: 11

CALORIES
Total calories burned: 13,949
Daily average: 1,993
Weekly best: 2,172

CALORIES IN VS OUT
Total in vs out: -3,001
Calories burned: 13,949
Calories eaten: 7,448 (this is not totally correct as some days I did not log ALL my food on My Fitness Pal  , which is a great website for keeping tract of calories by the way). 

WEIGHT
Lightest weight: 195.8
Heaviest weight: 196.4
Weight change: - 0.6 pounds

Most active day was Monday

Least active day was Sunday (looks like I need to move more on Sunday!!)

And this morning I started out with a 1 mile run on the home treadmill!  Yea me!!!  Have to pat myself on the back because I am NOT a morning person!!!

MAKE it a great day friends!!


~ Betty ~

Day 33-45 Am I worth it? Really? ?

I was doing so good and I let my guard down.  I have gained a few pounds and am not happy but I have no one to blame but myself.  I did my 5K on July 4th and did fairly well but other than that, I have not exercised at all!  And the more I DON'T exercise - the more I DON'T want to.  Blah, blah, blah, been here before on numerous occasions. 

I have not been exercising, not been eating right, not recording my food, not blogging, in other words - I have not been doing anything to encourage weight loss so my weight GAIN is not at all surprising. 

I have got to get a grip on this and try to get into a schedule.  My new job is coming together real good but I have been spending more time at work than anywhere!  I have got to work the exericse into my scheduled and I really need to do some type of exercise every day. 

This is going to be short and sweet because I have been here before and I know what I am NOT doing.  The question is - why am I not doing it?  Why is the food more important than losing weight?  I can be doing great and walk into the kitchen at work and see a donut, or something else that I really don't need and I blow it.  I do well for a while and then screw up.  It happens every time.  A self fullfiling prophecy??? hummm...something to think about. 

But as usual - I won't give up.  At least I can put a stop to this when I see that I have gained a few pounds back.  It's like I have to have those few days of eating things I don't need and not exercising just because I am childish and "don't want to" and the results are always negative.  When am I going to love me enough to do this thing?  Today?  Tomorrow?  Somedays I just want to give up and eat until I blow up.  I want to give up the control and just eat whatever I want.  I did that once and guess what happened?  I ate myself up to 238 pounds, my highest weight ever!  And I still remember what they felt like and I don't what to feel that way again - not ever!

So, what am I going to do about it?  Well, just for today, I will blog my food, I will MAKE the time to exercise and I will love me enough to know and believe that I AM WORTH IT!  Because deep down I know I am, I just have to convince myself sometimes.....

MAKE it a great day,
Betty

Just do it and git er done!

I watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition tonight.  This episode really got me motivated.  I began to realize that I have been making excuses about not having time for exercise  but that is all it is - excuses.  This man on this episode, James, lost 300 pounds in a year.  Now, I'm not trying to lose 300 pounds and I don't need to lose it fast but - I do need to lose some. This gaining and losing the same 5-10 pounds is not getting me anywhere.   Yes, I have blogged about this before so I won't got into great detail about it again.  Just suffice to say that I really want THIS TIME to be it!

I have done well keeping off the 40 more or less pounds I have lost but I still have 50 more to go.  I am not making any headway at this rate.  I have been keeping up with my weight loss almost on a daily basis since 2005.  Here is the rundown:

2005 - lost 22 pounds
2006 - lost 16 pounds
2007 - lost 12.5 pounds
2008 - lost 6 pounds
2009 - lost 2 pounds
2010 - lost 23.8
2011 - lost 4. 9 so far

But I have gained some of that back by doing all this yo-yoing back and forth.  I know that this is a lifestyle change and I know I can do it but I am choosing not too on most days.  Why do I self sabotage my progress?  I won't go into all the psychobabble about that but I will say that I am re-committing myself to this plan.  I know what to do, I just need to do it.  In fact - I am going to go to bed earlier than usual so I can get up and run in the morning. Will be my first run in about 6 weeks!  well, outside anyway. I have been on the treadmill one time.  I have everything I need all laid out, I am off work tomorrow so I have no excuse.  To heck with what people think about me running.  If that 400 pound man can get out there and run, this 200 pound woman can too!  Besides, all that mumbo jumbo about caring what others think of me while I am running is just that - mumbo jumbo!  It's all in my head anyway.  I am not that important, that anyone would pause to give me a second look, much less a thought, when they see me running anyway.  They barely look my way twice.

When James, the man in the weight loss show, got back home, his entertainment center was gone - no tv and no video games.  They were replaced by exercise equipment.  It was then that I realized how much precious time I spend in front of the tv watching things I recorded earlier when I could be exercising.  I was thinking, I stay up too late to get up early to exercise. Why??  Because I am sitting on my duff watching tv.  duh!!!  This has to stop.  I have begun to ask myself - will this help or hinder my weight loss?"  That is how I will make my decisions from now on.  I am a  medical transcriptionist and I type all day long at my job and then type for my second job when I get home.  If I could lose weight by exercising my fingers I would be plum skinny!!!  But all that sitting down is not good for me.  So the more I can move at home the better it will be.

I have a quote in front of me right now and it says, "Every food choice we make either moves us closer to, or away from, our weight loss goals."  How true is that!!!  That should be my mantra.  Ok, now maybe I'm rambling.

I don't know much, but one thing I do know - quitters never win!  So I will continue on this journey every day until I get it done.  It might take me a while, but I will git er done!!!

Thanks for reading friends and have a great night.  I am going to git er done!! How about you?
Betty

Day 10 - Got the running part down, now I need to work on my food issues.

Day 10 is almost over and I have had another successful day.  No cravings at all.  I did get real hungry at dinner because I did not have my usual snack at 3 pm but I was not really hungry.  I think I must be getting used to eating smaller amounts.  I do eat a lot of protein and I think that helps keep me full most of the day.  Speaking of that, I think I will eat a boiled egg for my nighttime snack.

Running on the treadmill last night was awesome!  I really wanted to do  it again tonight but I had decided a while back that until I lost some more weight I was not going to run as much as I used to.  I keep getting these mysterious little injuries or aches and pains so I decided that I would adhere to Galloway's training plan which is only two days of running for at least 30 minutes.  I still have 50 pounds to lose and I don't want to injure myself beyond repair!  After 3 half marathons, numerous 10K and 5Ks, I believe I have the running part down pat!  Now, I need to focus on the eating part.

I never really changed my eating while I was running so no wonder I didn't lose weight.  I can see how I could easily eat more calories than I was burning.  I bet if I totaled up a days worth of what I used to eat, it would be over 3,000 calories and some days I bet it was more than that!  But no more people!!!  I refuse to let food have control over me.  This is my life and I choose to live it HEALTHY for a change!

How about you?

Stats:
Calories Out 2953
Calories In 1651
Deficit: 1302

I hesitate to report these stats from bodybugg because the calories burned sound outrageous because today all I did was sit and type most of the day.  But that is what it says.  I know that once I get smaller that number will go down.  I am probably burning so much because I am so overweight.  Any bodybuggers out there and if so what do you think?