Day 33-45 Am I worth it? Really? ?

I was doing so good and I let my guard down.  I have gained a few pounds and am not happy but I have no one to blame but myself.  I did my 5K on July 4th and did fairly well but other than that, I have not exercised at all!  And the more I DON'T exercise - the more I DON'T want to.  Blah, blah, blah, been here before on numerous occasions. 

I have not been exercising, not been eating right, not recording my food, not blogging, in other words - I have not been doing anything to encourage weight loss so my weight GAIN is not at all surprising. 

I have got to get a grip on this and try to get into a schedule.  My new job is coming together real good but I have been spending more time at work than anywhere!  I have got to work the exericse into my scheduled and I really need to do some type of exercise every day. 

This is going to be short and sweet because I have been here before and I know what I am NOT doing.  The question is - why am I not doing it?  Why is the food more important than losing weight?  I can be doing great and walk into the kitchen at work and see a donut, or something else that I really don't need and I blow it.  I do well for a while and then screw up.  It happens every time.  A self fullfiling prophecy??? hummm...something to think about. 

But as usual - I won't give up.  At least I can put a stop to this when I see that I have gained a few pounds back.  It's like I have to have those few days of eating things I don't need and not exercising just because I am childish and "don't want to" and the results are always negative.  When am I going to love me enough to do this thing?  Today?  Tomorrow?  Somedays I just want to give up and eat until I blow up.  I want to give up the control and just eat whatever I want.  I did that once and guess what happened?  I ate myself up to 238 pounds, my highest weight ever!  And I still remember what they felt like and I don't what to feel that way again - not ever!

So, what am I going to do about it?  Well, just for today, I will blog my food, I will MAKE the time to exercise and I will love me enough to know and believe that I AM WORTH IT!  Because deep down I know I am, I just have to convince myself sometimes.....

MAKE it a great day,
Betty

Day 30 - A great day, don't quit and July 4th plans.

Today is day 30 and I am feeling great.  I ran yesterday and I ran this morning and so far nothing is hurting.  Yippee!  I had my sister and her two  grandkids here all day and we had a wonderful time.  They swam and we watched.  We decided to go to McDonalds for supper and we walked instead of riding in the car. It wasn't bad at all because it only took us 5 or 10 minutes to get there. For supper I choose the cheeseburger kids meal when I really wanted the QUARTER POUNDER but I stuck with my choice.  We decided to get an ice cream cone for the walk home and I got a small vanilla cone when what I wanted was the Mcflurry that probably had 500-800 calories.  I am happy with my choices and I did not feel in the least bit deprived.  It was literally a fight when I walked up to the counter to order the ice cream cone but my healthy side won over.  Thank you Lord!!

The run today was 3 miles and once again I had to fight to get out there.  But I did it!  I wish getting out the door came easy but I have heard several say that they still have to fight to get out the door in the morning time.   But I felt great afterwards. There were about 15 people there to run this morning so I had someone to run with.  We talked while we ran.  It was hot but it felt great.  I forgot to put on sunscreen and my face got blistered a little.  I even had on a hat but for part of the run we were facing directly into the sun.

Maybe I am back to my old self.  Let's hope so.  I want to get back into my usual running routine.  I hope nothing starts hurting again.  I have a 5K on July 4th.  My son was supposed to run it with me but he has to work!  It will be hot! hot! hot!  I will just take it easy and run MY race.  If my time is better than last time - then great. If it isn't - so what?  I will have a great time.  Some people wear costumes in this race.  What are you doing for the 4th of July?  I hope you make it a healthy and happy holiday.  Don't eat too much and get out there and get some form of exercise.    And if you blow it - guess what? You can start over the next day - JUST DON'T QUIT!    

Have a great day tomorrow and I hope you make healthy choices!
Betty