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Friday, April 16, 2010

Chocolate experiment is on!

Last night I was craving a chocolate kiss. Just one. I could visualize the taste and texture of that little darling. So....being the inquisitive person I am, I googled to see which kiss had the least calories and came up with the one that has the cherry center in it. Sounds good to me! Straight to the store to buy a bag!

Ok. Here is where the experiment comes in - I was going to try to NOT eat the WHOLE BAG in one sitting. I was going to sit down, slowly eat and enjoy the nine little kisses I allowed myself. And yes....I counted the calories in my daily intake before I ever bought them.

But last night wasn't that great! I had my nine little kisses and put the bag in the freezer. Came home last night and had a slightly heated argument with hubby while I was eating those chocolate cherry babies. And what did I do? After that I ate another nine pieces. And I ate them while my mind was saying, "you don't need to do this, you don't need to do this, why are you doing this?" But I did it just the same. That is old behavior creeping back in - STOP IT! You hear me! (talking to self) You STOP IT right now. We are not going back there. No way! So I went to bed knowing that I used food to ease my anger. But at least I know it! Not so long ago I could not see that. Today I can - progress in the making!!! ONE step back, TWO steps forward.

So the bag of kisses is still in the freezer and I will not let it control me. I will have my kiss whenever I want it and if I just one more time, even one, choose to eat those in a way that I feel is inappropriate for me, I will remove them from my house and I will see the experiment as a total failure. I will not buy a whole bag again.

So I will see how it goes from here on out. I don't want to totally count out something that I love because that only makes me want it more. So if I can eat these truly in moderation that will be a step in the right direction. What could I have done last night instead of eating that second helping because I was angry? LOTS OF THINGS! But I choose not to. That's okay. It is over and done. And the good part is -I have learned from the experience.

The chocolate experiment is still on and I will let you guys know how it goes. Good or bad!

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