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Monday, August 29, 2011


I am sitting here contemplating my state of affairs. Wanting to lose weight but not willing to do what it takes. wanting all this fat to just melt off me. ~sigh~

Every time I run a race I realize how bad I need to lose weight! I could be faster, I would feel better, there are so many positives to losing this weight!

I remember my bottom from my drug use. What is it going to take to hit bottom with my eating behavior? I got sober almost 20 years ago and stayed sober! No back and forth, up and down, in and out of AA. Just quit drinking and drugging and that was it! but this food thing seems to be a whole different animal for me! I can't get it or won't get it.

I try to say it's because there are not enough OA meetings, blah,blah,any excuse will do I suppose.

Wonder what it will take to get and maintain abstinence? I know the answer but am I willing to do what it takes? I guess I'm not-at least not now.

Thanks for listening.
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