Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I am excited about my first 10K. It was great. I was the last runner for the first 2-3 miles and the police car was following behind me. That drove me nuts. As I would walk he would slow down, when I ran he would speed up to catch me and then slow down again. It was worrying the mess out of me. But I told myself that it was okay. I only had to finish - not finish fast! And that man driving just wished he could do what I was doing. That helped me. I finally stopped focusing on him and concentrated on my race. But it helped that I passed a few people and then he followed them instead. Of course all the walkers passed me again, I think. When I came in I thought there were three behind me but when I checked the MS Track Club site it showed me as being last. I wonder what happened to the others. One man I knew, I did not see his name anywhere. He was running along side me for a while. He had been sick and he said that this race was probably not a good idea. Every step he would take his chest would hurt. So maybe he had to DNF.
The scenery was beautiful. It was overcast (I got sunburned) and it was not too hot. All in all a nice day. It had rained every day the previous few days and we thought it would rain this day but didn't. I thought about sunscreen but then just as quickly forgot about it. Forgot that you can still get sunburned on cloudy days.
I started out too fast. My mind said walk at the beginning but my feet took to running! The first two miles were pretty hard. I keep focusing on that darn police car on my butt and the fact that my breathing was pretty fast since I started out too fast. But I made myself slow down and it got better. At about 5 miles I got really tired and thought "are you crazy? What are you doing out here?" Then I told myself - "you only have a mile to go. You are over half way. Keep going. You CAN DO THIS!" (That seems to happen to me a lot at mile 5) When I came in I think I was the only one still running. But there were people there that cheered me on and it felt good. I am still a little self conscious about how I look when I run but I am slowing getting over that.
I am still at a quandary as to why I am not losing weight. Even if I overeat a few times you would think I would still lose a little. But I have not gained. I have been around the same for months. But I sill need to lose 50 more pounds. I do well for a few weeks and then blow it all. Me and a friend are having the same problem. We are trying to work on it and help each other. I thought the Biggest Loser would motivate me more but it hasn't yet.
But I will just keep plugging along. After the half marathon in December I might start working on my speed. But I have been told that it is the long run (more miles) that gets the weight off so I might need to concentrate on that. I am having a hard time finding time to run. I would have to get up at 4 am to get in more miles since I am so slow and getting in the bed early the night before has been nearly impossible due to extenuating circumstances at my house.
As I was running the 10K I passed a young lady in a wheelchair sitting on her driveway. I waved at her and she smiled as best she could - it was obvious that she did not have use of her arms or legs. I could not help but think - what would she give to be able to take one step???? And here I was grumbling about how I was feeling. At least I can walk. I think that is when I began to feel better. I was reminded, one again, of God's grace in my life. Considering my past alcohol and drug use, it is only by the grace of God that I am here today. Just to be alive is a true blessing and to be able to run, no matter how slow, is icing on the cake! I must never forget where I came from and what "could have been." My life is so good today. I have many restored relationships and most importantly I have a relationship with Christ that keeps me strong. Thank you God for keeping me humble and thank you for the many ways you show yourself in my life (even in my running) and I pray that the young lady in the wheelchair found some measure of happiness as she watched all of us run by. There but for the grace of God go I.
This is the day that the Lord has made.
MAKE it a great one.
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