It's A Struggle But It's Worth It! (May 18, 2007)

Friday, May 18, 2007 I can't believe it has been since March that I have written in here. Boy, time passes fast! I have decided to take up running. I am really enjoying it. I run on a treadmill. I have been doing 3 miles 5 x a week. I was losing weight like crazy and now I am stuck. I can't believe that I can run 3 miles for 5 x a week and NOT lose weight! That just totally blows my mind. My husband says I am probably losing inches and he is right but I want to see that number on the scale go down. Everyone says I look so good but I am still at 194!!! I don't want to stay there. Because of some things that have come up I have not been able to exercise this week at all so I must get back at it next week. My mother has been diagnosed with parathyroid cancer and I have been back and forth to the doctor with her. When I go on a trip it is like I am a "free" bird. I feel compelled to eat all the wrong things and that just puts back on the few pounds I have lost the week before. I have a problem with losing a few pounds and then feeling good so I eat things I should not and they come back on. No wonder I am at a standstill. It is like I can't be consistent every week. I said when I lost 50 pounds I would treat myself. Well, I did and what did I treat myself with? A big hamburger, fries and a chocolate shake. WRONG thing to do! So I gained back 5 pounds! Next time I will treat myself with something besides food! I really should have known better! But I am not giving up. I guess I will not lose every time and this should not discourage me. But a few weeks I was losing 1-2 pounds a week every week - that was when I first started running. Now I seem stuck. But like I have said so many times - I will NOT give up this time. For those of you who feel my pain and can sympathize with my problem please pray for me. I don't know the outcome of my mother's cancer. We are to go back to the doctor in a week or so and see what treatment will need to be done. They are talking about radiation. But who doesn't have problems in this world these days. I have no monopoly on problems! But, aside from all that - I do feel better, I look better and I can breath better! That is wonderful! I can look at the positive or I can look at the negative. The positive is what I need to focus on. I hope all of you are well and having great success with your healthy life plan. I don't like to say "diet" since this is a lifelong process and will continue until my death. MAKE it a great day!!