Made To Crave Book and ramblings.

I have found that blogging helps to keep me on track so I will try to do it daily (once again).

Today was great!  I have not eaten compulsively.  The thought did cross my mind but I did not give in.  I had my breakfast, my 10 am snack, lunch, 3 pm snack, dinner, and am about to have a pm snack after I finish here.  My calorie goal for today was 1360 and I have eaten 1240 so that is pretty good. And I don't feel hungry either.   There was no food brought to the office today, thank goodness!

OA meeting was good too.  We have been listening to an OA Big Book Study. We are starting to talk about step 4.  I always feel better after a meeting!  I feel more confident and I really believe I can do do this thing.

I read a book a while back called Made to Crave:  Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa Terkeurst.



It was a very good book but I read it and laid it aside without much thought. I believe I need to read it again and really put my mind to studying it this time.  There are some profound statements in there such as:

"We have to see the purpose of our struggle with food as something more than getting to wear smaller sizes and receiving compliments.  SHALLOW DESIRES PRODUCE SHALLOW EFFORTS.  These good things are nice, but not as appealing in the moment as a cinnamon roll, or those chips, or that brownie.  The process of getting healthy has to be about more than just losing weight and focusing on ourselves.  It's not about adjusting our diets and hoping for good physical results.  It's about re-calibrating our souls so that we want to change for the right reasons."

Wow!! That says a lot people!  I really get that "shallow desires produce shallow efforts" and my efforts have been pretty shallow here lately.  That is something I am going to ponder on.  I believe I shall read this book again and I mean really read it this time!

Have a great night my friends!
Betty

Day 19 and 20 - Sad and tried to find comfort in food.

The pic above is my beloved Samantha (Sam as we called her).  She was my dad's dog, then my mom's dog and finally she came to live with me when she mom died this past December.  She was 17 years old and she died yesterday.  She had been sick and I knew she would not be with us much longer but it was still a shock and I am heartbroken.  Needless to say I have tried to find comfort in food but have not.  And I knew I wouldn't find it in the food but I still ate things that I wish I hadn't....all the while telling myself that it would not help.  Only time will heal this wound.  My beautiful Sam was the last thing I had left of my mom and I knew it would be painful when she died.  But she did live a wonderful fun-filled and exciting life and was happy, I believe, till the day she died.  The night before she was jumping up and down and bouncing all around like a young puppy. I don't know what had gotten into her. I figure she knew she was going to see her "mom and dad" the next day and she was excited about it. ( I would like to think that anyway)! 

But I am happy to say that the past two days have been ok.  Not great but ok.  I am still conscious of my eating plan and trying my best to stick to it. Sometimes I want the weight loss to be much more and much faster but I know that is not the way to go about it.  I have always gained it back when I went on the crash diets and ate low calories.  If I do it the RIGHT way, maybe it will stick this time around!  I am determined to show a loss this week! 

Make it a great day friends!
Betty