July is almost over and it has been a bad month.
I have had almost no motivation but I refuse to
give up. I ran for the first time in over a week
this past Sat and it was fun! I still got it in me!
Woohoo!
Half marathon training is starting up in a few weeks.
I'm excited about that. I have a few friends, new
runners, who are going to do it with me. Yea!!
So now, on to my topic: To track or not to track? What do yall think?
I have faithfully tracked everything for a long time maybe only missing
a few days or weeks here and there. But the problem is that I am
compulsive overeater. I need to learn to eat when hungry and stop
when full. Hard to do for me! I will look at my calories and if I have
some left I will find something to eat even if I'm not hungry. I don't
think I have tracked my food in over a week. My motivation has been
down and I have been lazy. But thank goodness I always get back up.
I have gained 5 pounds when I need to be losing 50!!
But I am still here and still wanting to do what I know I need to do.
I have said many times that "i know what to do, I'm just not doing it."
But why, why am I not doing it??? Simple... because I don't want to.
So the question is, I suppose, why don't I want to? What is it that is
making me "ok" with me right now knowing that I need to lose another
50 pounds or so. Do I not want it bad enough? Someone told me the
other day, I did not need to lose some weight and I instantly
thought - well then, I can eat this and that and so on. But what
happens is that I start out with 1 but I don't stop there. That is what
happened with the diet cokes. I cannot have just one. So I stopped
drinking them at all. I tried having 1 but it didn't work. I don't know
if I could have one of anything!
There is no need to keep talking about it. I just need to do it. Talking
about it helps but it doesn't change anything. I have got to be willing
to DO IT not just talk about it and wish it would happen. But I am
grateful that I keep coming back to Spark People and I keep realizing
what I am doing before I eat myself back up to a size 24 again!
OA meeting tonight was great. I really needed that. But then got home and found out Jillian wasn't coming on...bummer.....
I hope everyone is doing well and not in a lazy mood like I have been.
But I guess a few bad days won't kill me.
MAKE it a great day friends.
Anyone who has struggled with their weight has had ups and downs. It is taking me a lot longer to lose my weight than I had planned...because of ups and downs. I've tried tracking and not tracking. I've also tried various ways of tracking. I have come to realize that for me, I will probably always have to track to some extent. It keeps me real with myself and always conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth. I do weight watchers online again...after taking several months off and tracking elsewhere. I am more consistent when I use WW online. Good luck and I totally understand!
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